PKMN.NET :: Rex :: Eight years of PKMN.NET Articles
Eight years of PKMN.NET Articles: Rex | PKMN.NET in 2016
From: Plot Device (
Sent: 09 January 2016 01:05

Dear admins of PKMN.NET,

Due to an unspecific and unexplored plot point, I have the means to send an email to you in the past: I urge you to froward this message to ever member on PKMN.NET (Or PKMN.NET2 as it will be known in the future due to Muhed's post count destroying the site and a need for it to be rebuilt) as its will tell you about the wonders and horrors of PKMN.NET in eight years time.

By 2016 the server cost grew rapidly after the site's population reached higher than London's. Psythor was forced to go on more Game shows to cover the cost. The infamous Name Rater still remains on track, he however, was replaced by Sentret.

Last ratings:

Kanto Name Rater says...

Kanto Name Rater says...

Kanto Name Rater says...

Kanto Name Rater says...
Goodbye.. Morons..

He was later found by the admins drowned in his own pot noodle.

Sentret, without the Kanto Rater to be nasty now, took over that role..

Sentret says:
Sentret hates you!! ^_^!! Die!!

Sentret says:
((KILL)) You're the worst! ^_^!!

The Johto Rater is as confused as ever, going under the name of "Sister Lynx" now when rating names, a strange mixture between a pop diva and a deodorant advert actor.

The forums are now a totally tyrannical place, Joeno had achieved his life long ambition to program working, living entity of himself into eventually several known fearfully as the �Jbots.� They petrol the forum with inhuman cruelty locking anything and anyone that puts a toe wrong.

Because of this, the regular and global moderators are put out of work and now find jobs by making sure everyone's personal text says "I love Horses."

Rex has been missing for a while now, while at the PKMN.NET Meet IX (Where everyone was surprised at the huge bulge in Typhlosion's jeans � turns out to be the admins death ray that was scheduled to have its debut that day) he got lost. Again. He hasn't been seen since and theories range joining a Swedish Girl Band or finally finding that golden cow or a combination of the both.

Pokemole was and still a running success, no-one being able to guess who was the latest Pokemole, until they realised that none of them were and the Pokemole was "Something in the hearts of each and everyone one of us." It was turned into a TV series and hosted by Chris Tarrent but critics claimed he had sold out, Typhlosion responded to this with he was 'always in it for the money.'

Iceduck's Pokémon Live Connection also maintained its popularity, until enough stories were made to make a full book of short stories to be sold if copyrighted names were changed. Which is exactly what Iceduck did. Then buying his homeland of Welsh with a sponsored beard grow coupled with the stolen money, he broke away from the UK by applying jet engines to the coast and now lives in the Atlantic Oceans in the Kingdom of Ducks. He unfortunately picked up a condition that forces him to pronounce 'D's as 'Fs'. Which had a few laughs when he said his hair had dried at the PKMN.NET meet.

Phil is still playing World Of Warcraft but now has enough followers to build his own army, which he did: To get more WoW Gold.

Pokedude eventually returned.

Rule 20 stayed where it was for the last 8 years, however, the other rules didn't and there was a frantic scramble trying to find the others, when PKMN.NET plunged into chaos. Hearing Rex's advice, Joeno this time hired a bounty hunter (and apparently forgot to instal those Machine-gun-nest and watch towers) who found out it wasn't missing but Joeno simply forgot to switch them on when he came into work that morning.

Version 9 passed, then version 10, version 11 'With The Rater Cam', showing you the blood pressure and depression of the Name Rater as he went trough your names. The site was closed down for a year causing many people to create a sort of shanty-PKMN.NET where people took over the role of 'Jeono' from time to time, (many people started to believe they were Joeno which caused long the Joeno Wars - they were ended brutally by the mod squad), eventually afterwords version 12 was released to the members glee with new features ask "Ask yourself about Sentret" and "Guess Who will be banned next" as well as the famous "Where's Rex?" page where users submitted their recent sightings of Rex; the latest one of him performing �We Don't Want Another Emo', apparently in response to CS10 who had grown even more depressed and dark over the years, eventually making a real Black Parade.

The IRC has changed too � Sentret staged a coup and the admins were dethroned, now the ruthless Pokémon kicks at seemingly random, Muhed however, is on a set schedule of kicking - a carry on from the admin reign.

Censored words was increased to people's horror, you can no longer say the word 'Pants' with out a ten year ban from PKMN.NET and television.

The eight years has been good to PKMN.NET2, despite missing admins, Phil now integrated into World Of WarCraft and Psythor being booked for Big Brother. Even with the Jbots patrolling, the people of PKMN.NET have found time to stay active and grow bigger as a community while trying to keep award from the dreaded 'P' word. A statue of 'eeveedude' was put up to celebrate is work on 'y r girls so hot', which, once again, like every fad joined with a vengeance, but safely contained �Fad bored� those clever admins knew what they were doing while similarly a spam bored was put up again, but it was filled with intelligent and well-thought-out posts, a failure on their part.

Thank you for reading kind PKMN.NET member, remember you have 8 more good years in front of you! It's a long way until we reach the post-apocalyptic PKMN.NET where members ride in the desert of code and the ruins of Ask Sentret are half covered on the beach as told to me in an email.

Happy 8th Birthday PKMN.NET!

Page written by Ledyba.

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Tags: None!

Sappy on Thu 10 Jan 2008 18:12:54 UTC.
Epic, far too epic. It is really good. I see... I can't wait for PKMN.NET2
Caldoran on Thu 10 Jan 2008 18:14:33 UTC.
Pikanyaa on Thu 10 Jan 2008 20:04:31 UTC.
The creativity. x'D Classic
Mushroom on Thu 10 Jan 2008 20:20:40 UTC.
You destroyed it! You darn dirty PKMN.NET Members!
T-man on Fri 11 Jan 2008 00:01:31 UTC.
Hello? Past people? He forgot the bit where I've overthrown Chani in the IRC, and now control it entirly (Well, Sentret is like my Paul Z. Belokeo the Third the President) And the bit where I mayyyyy have had a TEENY bit to do with Rex's murder, I mean, disapprearence.
No78 on Fri 11 Jan 2008 14:40:45 UTC.
Umbreon Night on Mon 14 Jan 2008 23:28:44 UTC.
well time to move into the basement
Lyude on Thu 24 Jan 2008 20:37:55 UTC.
He forgot to mention how sentret was a demo, other then that THIS THING OWNZ
Dyexzos the Deoxys on Sat 02 Feb 2008 09:17:14 UTC.
Hehehehe....... good. Happy 8th birthday!! but if this is what it is like then i will be laughing very muchly
Radioactive Rainbow on Sat 29 Mar 2008 17:04:36 UTC.
This is pretty good/funny.
PokeSurfer on Sat 05 Apr 2008 16:30:13 UTC.
Happy Birthdat PKMN.Net, Sentret, Name rater, Moderators and admins- well done keeping the site to such an age. (Snivel)
Freestyler on Mon 09 Jun 2008 17:46:53 UTC.
happy b day
on Sun 14 Dec 2008 19:40:48 UTC.
i cant bleive was made on jan the 10th, thats my b-day =) rock on P.S. Jan the 10th 1992