When I first joined the site, I thought it was just going to be another boring old forum, not that I knew what a forum was then, but anyway. I was browsing the forums and noticed something slightly peculiar. There were these crazed lunatics running after these other guys. The first guys appeared to have ï¿½Modsï¿½ written on them. The second ï¿½RULEZBREAKERZï¿½. I didnï¿½t quite know what to make of that, so I carried on browsing.
I came across a board that interested me, and I went in it. I fell flat on my face in a room with cages, bars, you name it. It had everything youï¿½d ever think about in general. ï¿½This is madness. THIS IS RANDOM RANDOMNESS!ï¿½ This certainly was the strangest place Iï¿½d been. While I was traversing my way through stands and shacks of different topics, a stand got my attention; ï¿½Brainiac: Science Abuseï¿½. There was a delightful girl here called ï¿½Lottieï¿½ apparently. She was nice. Talked a bit to me and became my first online friend, aww. So we got talking about Brainiac and other things and-- hey, wait, you're not interested in this, are you? No? Didnï¿½t think so. Letï¿½s get to the good stuff.
There I was. A black room. Well, it would have been a black room if I didnï¿½t have a blindfold over my eyes. I had no idea where I'd been taken to. These ï¿½Modsï¿½ I talked about earlier kidnapped me and took me here. I was browsing the forums, walking through the Team Building sections of the huge PKMN.NET City and then grabbed, knocked unconscious and taken to this strange room. No idea what had happened. It was all very dramatic.
They began interrogating me, shouting questions at me. Questions I didnï¿½t know the answer to. They forced me to listen to ï¿½Itï¿½s a Small Worldï¿½ on repeat for several hours. It was horrible! They kept slapping me, like in those interrogation movies. I mean, we were even in black and white! There was also that random guy with the moustache... Joeno maybe? I mean, heï¿½s ALWAYS there isnï¿½t he? There was also another guy in the room with me. Apparently he was called William. He looked like a pirate, so he was automatically cool in my book anyway.
I was then asked by Joeno, ï¿½Yo, howï¿½d you like to be one of us, dude?ï¿½ I had no idea what to reply with. Panic mounted and I screamed ï¿½YESï¿½ in the hope that my torture would end. How wrong I was. I was given the job to moderate ten forums, TEN! What did I do to deserve this? That William guy also got a moderating job. We had our fun of drunken nights on desert islands that he took us to on his pirate ship. Good times. Well, I proceeded with this ï¿½jobï¿½ and was given the lovely ï¿½Modsï¿½ jacket that Iï¿½d seen many times. That very one Iï¿½d never thought Iï¿½d wear because I was a randomer, barely posting.
From this Moderatory job came my arch nemesis... Rex. He has been conspiring against me for years. Even before I was given this. He knows Iï¿½m out to get him. Heï¿½s already stopped me from getting an admin status. Not only that, but I bet heï¿½s plotting my downfall right now. When I became a Moderator, I got to do many new things. Such as use the ï¿½LOCKERï¿½ button that shoves people in their lockers and locks them. I could also now remove posts and chase those ï¿½RULEZBREAKERSï¿½! I felt awesome. Then it hit me, I could strike fear into anyone I wanted with the raise of a fist.
After a while, I got promoted to SUPREMEGLOBALOHMYGODZ MOD where I was able to do MORE things! Whatï¿½s more, I became the first person to be promoted on YouTube! Pretty spiffy, eh? Mushroom was promoted in person while I was floating high above the sky on a plane. Iï¿½d discussed how I was to jump out of it and make a super ï¿½10/10ï¿½ dive with triple twist somersaults and then land safely... I got trapped in the propellers when I jumped. Oops. I noticed Rex, my ever-watching nemesis, was prowling around; trying to find any opportunity to call me his usual insult ï¿½Emoï¿½ and I managed to get a glimpse of his post count... I screamed at my monitor ï¿½ITï¿½S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!!!ï¿½ which attracted a lot of attention from my family who proceeded to ask ï¿½What, nine thousand?!ï¿½ Bet you didnï¿½t know my family were Dragonball Z fans, did you?
Being at PKMN.NET, I met Kay. Sheï¿½s my princess. You know what happens to princesses? No? What the hell do you mean youï¿½ve never played Mario? Not even Zelda? Dear God... They get kidnapped of course! Iï¿½d been given a letter (with the usual ï¿½ALEX obtained the LETTER!ï¿½ Pokémon text) that said:
ï¿½Your princess is in my castle, emo.ï¿½
I knew exactly who this was. Iï¿½m sure you could guess too. Rex. Swiftly, unprepared, like a lot of other heroes such as Mario who just run to certain areas and do their stuff, I had to just fight my way through the castle. All I did was step through the door and I was in the final room. The following fight went as follows:
ï¿½I knew I should have installed that maze of cows... or released the cows of distraction.ï¿½
ï¿½Rex, shut up and give me my princess!
ï¿½Youï¿½ll never survive the Astley!ï¿½
The constant Rick Astley links Rex spewed out were hard to come by. I tripped and hit my head. To my horror, Rick Astley was in front of me and opened his mouth. Dear God no, he belted out his all too familiar song ï¿½Never Give You Upï¿½.
The battle begins. Rex uses the power of Rick Astley to swing a few large strokes with his cheap rip-off of Ganondorfï¿½s sword, now engraved with ï¿½Emocrusher4ï¿½. I was grounded. Rex yelled his usual trash talk.
ï¿½YOUï¿½LL NEVER LET GO OF THE DARKNESS!ï¿½
ï¿½NEVER!ï¿½ I screamed back and blasted out My Chemical Romanceï¿½s ï¿½Welcome to the Black Paradeï¿½.
The shock took Dark Lord Rex back. He lifted his sword one last time and swung it down. He stabbed himself to escape the music, drowning out Rick Astley. Iï¿½d beaten him, but this was only a beginning. I found a note at the end of the room.
ï¿½The princess is at another castle.ï¿½
Trust those references. I give up.
And now, I live in constant fear of Rex returning. At any moment he could appear and emo my account to hell. Ah well, at least I got this written withoï¿½
- End Transmission -
Page written by Anarcree.
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