PKMN.NET :: PokéMole
PokéMole | This is not a clue

Episode 5



Season Six
Meet The Contestants Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Sabotages and Clues

Episode 5

Comments in Red are commentary added out of earshot of the other contestants.

Comments in Blue are the Contestants own personal diary entries.

Comments in Purple are real time conversations between contestants, outside of challenges.

Presenter: Can you smell that? It’s the smell of the halfway point. Only six contestants remain and the pressure just cranked up yet another gear. Four will still fall by the wayside. And then two more. One will be the winner. And the other? That’s the PokéMole.

Day 13

Presenter: Day 13? Let’s just hope Mothim doesn’t realise.

Presenter: Good morning contestants, minus Slowking. Welcome t-

Mothim: Have you seen any black Glameows this morning?

Presenter: … eh?

Mothim: You haven’t broken any mirrors by putting your shoes on a table to avoid walking under a ladder right?

Presenter: In English please, if you are going to chat rubbish.

Mothim: It’s the thirteenth day… surely a bad sign. Our luck will run out today.

Raticate: Mothim?

Mothim: Yes?

Raticate: Shut the hell up.

Presenter: … As I was saying, welcome to Chrono Island and we’re going to dive straight into your next challenge. It’s called Ode To Jigglypuff and it is of course oh so simple. A singing competition! Exciting stuff I know. How it works is as follows: each of you must sing one verse of a famous song to our guest judge Jigglypuff Cowell. After all six of you have been, we’ll drop a chest full of money on the other side of this field. It will take three of you to lift it – after all it does contain [p]20,000 – and all you have to do is bring it back. Very simple? Well, maybe not. Should Jigglypuff Cowell not be impressed with your singing skills then Jigglypuff Cowell will likely attempt to show you how it is done, quite possibly rendering you useless for bringing the chest back, which would be a bit of a shame really. Ah well, we have earplugs for those of you waiting to perform so without further ado, who wants to go first?

Clefairy: Oh! Me me me me me!!!1111oneeleven

Presenter: Very well Clefairy. Good luck.

Presenter: And so Clefairy takes to the stage first. How will she do?

Clefairy: Everybody in loooooove go on put your hands up everybody in love PUT YOUR HANDS UP… hands up Jigglypuff!! You know you need a mon when the need’s so strong, when they’re gone you know you can’t battle on…

Jigglypuff: Jiggggggglypuffffffffffff jiggggggggggaly jigglypuff…

Clefairy: Zzz…

Presenter: Well that went well didn’t it? Clefairy gets the pen treatment. Next up is Mawile.

Mawile: As I walk through the mansion in the dead of the night, I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing right. 'Cause I've been trying to get a good night’s sleep so long, that even mummy Mawile thinks that my mind has gone. Ooooooooooooooh we've been spending most our lives, living in a Gengar’s paradise. We've been spending most our lives, living in a Gengar’s paradise.

Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff ^_^

Presenter: That one seemed to go a lot better. Next up is Kricketune.

Kricketune: The Magikarp has two left feet, and when he splashes down to the beat. I really think that he should know, that his rhythms no no no. Does he battle? Never battle. Does he KO? No, he never KO’s. Does he brush up? Never brushed up. He does nothing, the fish does nothing.

Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff ^_^

Presenter: Christ on a bike, two successes in a row. Will Mothim keep this run going?

Mothim: Dance your cares away worry’s for another day let the music play down in Furret Rock…

Jigglypuff: Jiggggggglypuffffffffffff jiggggggggggaly jigglypuff…

Mothim: Zzzzzz…

Presenter: Oh dear. More pen needed. Next up is Farfetch’d.

Farfetch'd: When I'm with you baby, I go out of my head. But I just can't get Tauros, I just can't get Tauros. Been playing Blue version for hours and still you won’t turn up. I just can't get Tauros, I just can't get Tauros. High and wide through that Safari Zone, and I just can't seem to get a damn Tauros.

Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff ^_^

Presenter: Assuming the contestants aren’t weaklings they’re probably going to be able to pass the challenge now. Raticate could give us the icing on the cake however.

Raticate: Sha la la la la la la la, sha la la la la la la la, sha la la la la la la la. When the day is dawning, on a Kanto Sunday morning. How I long to be there, with Bugsy who’s waiting for me there. Every lonely city, where I hang my hat. Ain’t as half as pretty, as where my baby's attttttttttttttt. Is this the way to Azalea Town? Every night I’ve been hugging my crown. Dreaming dreams of Azalea Town, and sweet Bugsy who waits for me.

Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff ^_^

Presenter: Easy pickings really. And they even manage to transport the chest.

Presenter: Congratulation contestants, in the end four of you managed to please Jigglypuff Cowell with your singing, and so you’ve earned [p]20,000 for the prize fund, taking the total now to a whopping [p]124,000! Lovely stuff. Your next challenge will take place tomorrow morning in the old abandoned Rocket Warehouse. I’ll see you there.


Clefairy: No more Slowking… erm… oh dear ^_^

Farfetch'd: Clefairy was very desperate to go first, which was stupid when she shouldn’t even sing. At all. I think she deliberately chose to throw the challenge.

Kricketune: He does nothing the fish does nothing! More money in the pot, this is fantastic. I can see us building up quite a total now. No reasons to suspect Mawile from today. Mothim’s efforts were very disappointing though.

Mawile: Why did we have to have a singing contest? I hate singing; it was essentially a challenge judging something we don’t really have any control over. Farfetch’d voluntarily went towards the end of the challenge today. Perfect chance to decide whether to fail or not?

Mothim: It’s Day 13, which is bad luck, but we won. I’m confused. And that marker was PERMANENT.

Raticate: Kricketune caught my eye a bit today. She seemed very nervous for someone who should probably have been fantastic at singing anyway. Clefairy losing again obviously has to go down as suspicious.


Day 14

Presenter: Another of those maths challenges that seems to pop up every year? That figures.

Presenter: Welcome to what was once the headquarters of Team Rocket’s Sevii Island operations. Today your challenge is called That Figures and you will be split into teams. All I am going to tell you is that four of you need to escape from your cells in order to pass this challenge, thus earning [p]15,000 for the prize fund, and that you all have just twenty minutes in which to escape from your cells. Your teams have already been decided from the sides of the table you sat at during breakfast – Clefairy, Kricketune and Mawile please take your places in the cells on the left. Farfetch’d, Mothim and Raticate please take your places in the cells on the right. Good luck.

Presenter: Each team of contestants has their own sum to solve – one probably slightly easier than the other. The first set of contestants have to solve THIS sum, and the second set has to solve THIS sum. Easy, right? After just two minutes, Farfetch’d confidently scrolls over to his cell door, pins in a number and looks completely unsurprised to see the door swing open. One out already? We’ve done something wrong here surely. Another three whole minutes pass before both Raticate and Kricketune proceed to their doors and key in a number. Raticate’s door remains motionless while Kricketune’s door swings open, and just a further minute later Mawile also correctly exits her cell. Six minutes gone and three out of four contestants have already escaped. It takes another two minutes until Mothim depressively floats over to his door and Clefairy bounces over to hers. Both key in numbers… but neither door opens. At the ten minute mark Mothim and Raticate both try to open their doors but again neither manages to succeed. After another three minutes, all three contestants once again try to open their doors but their efforts once again prove fruitless, and despite another last ditch attempt from Clefairy, their time is now up. You just can’t get the staff these days.

Presenter: Contestants, I am afraid the fifteen minutes is up. Farfetch’d, Kricketune and Mawile all managed to escape from their cells, but Clefairy, Mothim and Raticate all remain trapped, therefore the challenge has been failed, and your prize fund remains at [p]124,000. Your next challenge will take place tomorrow on the island in the middle of the Water Labyrinth. If you wait by the harbour in Five Island Town, we will transport you across. I’ll see you there.


Clefairy: Raticate always seemed pretty streetwise and smart to me, so why couldn’t she escape? I find that strange. I kept getting plus and minus mixed up ^_^ :(

Farfetch'd: Clefairy didn’t solve the puzzle, and ultimately it was a single failure which cost us the money. Hmm… I sense a conspiracy.

Kricketune: How annoying, but oh well, we were so close! A great effort overall I think. Mawile seemed to take a while to exit his cell. Was he waiting back a bit?

Mawile: Farfetch’d was very quick to escape today, but does that mean he was just given the answer previously? Mothim didn’t managed to escape today, he’s starting to catch my eye a little bit.

Mothim: I think I’m starting to lean a bit more towards Kricketune, although Raticate and Mawile both make me think a bit. I can’t blame either for not escaping today, since when you’re put on the spot with a time limit like that, and with maths not being a strong point anyway, it’s very difficult.

Raticate: Even though Mothim and I didn’t manage to escape, I can’t believe Clefairy didn’t. Okay, I can sympathise with Mothim. The hard impossible sum we had was a nightmare. But their puzzle was so much easier than ours. A definite question mark over both of them today.


Day 15

Presenter: The day of the next elimination dawns as the contestants travel by boat out onto a secluded island. It’s going to be a long day.

Presenter: Hello contestants, and welcome to your last challenge before the fifth elimination. It’s called Mamoswine Flu and here is how it works. Behind me is a circle of six chairs – you will all sit on one chair each and should you still be seated by sundown tonight, you’ll have passed the challenge and we’ll add [p]20,000 into the prize fund. It really is as easy as that. Well, partly. As you can see, in the middle of the circle there is a podium holding two cards. One green and one red. If any of you want to end the challenge for whatever reason all you have to do is go and pick up both cards. The green card is an exemption – a guaranteed place in Episode 6. The red card we have dubbed as Mamoswine Flu. Obviously with the big over exaggeration of swine flu in the human world, it’s not a good thing. We won’t tell you what it does just yet, but be warned – for one of you, it could indeed prove very deadly. If you’d like to take your seats, I’m off to go and sip champagne on my own private yacht. Good luck, I will be seeing you… well, at some point during the day.

Presenter: The contestants walk over to the ring of chairs and sit down. For some reason, Clefairy has picked up a shell along the way. Why? Let’s find out.

Raticate: Why on earth have you got a shell?

Farfetch'd: I bet it’s a clue. I bet it links into who the PokéMole is… somehow.

Mothim: Or it’s a sign… maybe the sea’s going to come in and take us all away.

Clefairy: No sillies ^_^ I was thinking when we all start to get really really really bored we could play Pass The Shell ^_^.

Kricketune: That’s a good idea, it’ll help to pass the time!

Raticate: And what in god’s name do we do in Pass The Shell?

Clefairy: Silly you ^_^ We all pass the shell around the circle.

Raticate: Until what?

Clefairy: Until the music stops ^_^

Raticate: What music?

Clefairy: Well, I could sing or something ^_^

Raticate: Wow. You just put me off the game even more than I was to begin with.

Clefairy: Really? Thanks ^_^

Presenter: As I said, you just can’t get the staff nowadays. An hour later and another argument breaks out between the contestants:

Mothim: It’s starting to rain… I hope it’s not a sign.

Farfetch'd: Maybe they lied to us and the challenge involves staying out here WITHOUT catching Mamoswine flu?

Raticate: You can’t catch Mamoswine flu from the rain, you catch it from… well, Mamoswines I guess.

Clefairy: I knew a Mamoswine once! Belonged to an odd chap. He used to career around on a Ponyta waving a net around trying to catch this Ledyba. Was quite funny to watch ^_^

Raticate: … eh?

Farfetch'd: Maybe we’ll catch Pidgey flu then.

Kricketune: Oh I do hope not. Still, I’ll sure we’ll all be okay in the end!

Raticate: How can you not understand? You only catch normal flu by getting cold, the others are passed from Pokémon to Pokémon!

Clefairy: I think that Mamoswine had Mamoswine flu once you know. It got lots of EV’s from it ^_^

Mawile: I’m bored.

Raticate: Don’t you mean Pokérus?

Clefairy: I’m not bored, I’ve still got the shell ^_^ And okay, Pokérus flu then ^_^

Raticate: Give me strength…

Presenter: Somehow, a whole three hours pass without any murders.

Mawile: Why are we being made to do this? Aren’t they supposed to test us? If I had my iPod on me I’d think of this as an absolute luxury. Well, and an umbrella maybe.

Mothim: It’s like a test of endurance isn’t it… just another way of making us all contemplate how miserable our lives are, just an endless circle of misery and let down.

Farfetch'd: Do you reckon they’re rifling through our personal possessions while we’re all stuck out here?

Kricketune: I’m sure they wouldn’t do that ^_^

Farfetch'd: Or maybe they’re just not coming back for us… maybe they want us to try and find our own way back through the Water Labyrinth and get stuck and never get found ever again.

Clefairy: That would be like an adventure wouldn’t it ^_^ Although I really hope that doesn’t happen…

Raticate: Can’t you all just shut up?

Clefairy: Shall we have a sing song? ^_^

Raticate: Or maybe die?

Clefairy: LOL funny Raticate ^_^

Raticate: Don’t push it Little Miss Moon Stone.

Presenter: The contestants all hold out for another hour, until the cracks finally break them.

Farfetch'd: They’ve forgotten about us. They must have done. Why else would they still not have come for us?

Mawile: Because it’s now sundown yet? Even though it is cold and wet and boring here.

Clefairy: I still have the shell ^_^

Farfetch'd: Shut up about the shell! Our lives could be at risk here! Sorry guys, I’ve had enough.

Presenter: And with that, Farfetch’d stands up and walks over to the podium, picking up the green and red cards. The challenge has been failed, and Farfetch’d has taken as exemption into the next episode. But what of the red card? While I magically teleport back to the contestants, let’s see what it says.

Farfetch'd: Let’s read it… oh… right. Erm… Clefairy you have this.

Clefairy: Oh thank you, thank you ^_^ Let’s read it! "You have chosen to take the cards, and as you were warned, you may have caused the death of one of your fellow contestants. You must now choose a contestant to hand this card to. This contestant will be deducted one correct answer from their score on tonight’s elimination quiz. You were warned…" What does that mean? ^_^

Presenter: How irritating, dinner was just being served. Contestants, you have failed this challenge therefore the prize fund at the end of Episode 5 has been frozen at [p]124,000. Farfetch’d, you have earned an exemption, so congratulations, you will definitely be here tomorrow. Clefairy, you will start the quiz with a one point disadvantage to all of your fellow contestants. It looks like you all have a lot of thinking to do. The boat is on its way back, so in a few moments we will take you back to Chrono Island and following supper, you will be taking said quiz.

Elimination

Presenter: The contestants are all taking the latest quiz. The wall in front of the computer has the message "Ignore the average" scribbled across it. Clearly nobody ever cleans these rooms. On your marks, get set, go.

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