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Misc => Your Art => Topic started by: The name master on August 30, 2016, 12:08

Title: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 30, 2016, 12:08: I can't imagine anyone caring about this, but, you never know until you try.....

Anyway, here goes....

I'm going to make a story, which I'm going to draw, and then later, animate.

The story is:

A Nidorino kidnaps Nidorina, And Mudkip must save her.

Here are some things I've worked out myself:

The reason Nidorino kidnaps Nidorina is because he likes her, but Nidorina already likes Mudkip.

Nidorino has an army of Porygons.

Nidorino has a machine called a Porygoniser, which turns pokemon into Porygons (usually partially) pokemon that go through porygonisation lose their free will and become Nidorino's slave forever.

Porygon2 is created by accident when a Porygon is knocked into the Porygoniser (though it destroys the machine in the process) Nidorino sends it to destroy Mudkip. It later evolves into Porygon-z.

There is probably going to be a Zangoose that saves Mudkip from an ambush. It later betrays Mudkip by giving Nidorino information about Mudkip's location, being promised a reward. Nidorino then Porygonises him.

There will be a battle between Mudkip and Nidorino. Nidorino evolves into a giant nidoking and battles Mudkip in a similar battle to this (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GGRqpuXKqWs) (start at 1:17)

What I'd like YOU to do ~~(if you even care!)~~ is to give me ideas. It could be character ideas, story ideas, anything. If I use your idea(s) I will give you credit in the end credits. Dirty jokes ARE allowed (but it's best if you send them in a PM!) any questions, don't hesitate to ask me!

~~I'm sure I wasted 20+ minutes typing this!~~
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: the bread dragon on August 30, 2016, 15:50: kill off a main character
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 30, 2016, 16:14: Quote from: bread on August 30, 2016, 15:50
kill off a main character
^you see this? This right here? THIS is what I should have expected! I actually get the confidence to share something I don't usually share with anyone else, and this is what I get! This is the "help" I get!

Thanks for nothing! I'm sure I can think of something without anyone else! Unless you have sensible suggestions, I'm not interested!

And also, if you don't care about this topic, me or anything I (put a lot of effort in to) make, then please DO NOT post!
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Shrub Dragon on August 30, 2016, 16:32: you do realise that killing off a main character isn't necessarily a bad idea, right?

there's a whole subset of tropes surrounding it owing to the fact that it's a popular plot device that has been used in hundreds of works because it has so much conflict potential. 22 of the books in my bedroom (and do bear in mind that I keep some of my books outside of my room also) kill off main characters. of my top five favourite tv shows (buffy, Gilmore girls, gossip girl, white collar, glee), three have killed off main characters.

there's nothing wrong with bread's suggestion.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 30, 2016, 16:36: Thinking about it, I could kill off Nidorino and/or Porygon2!

Spoiler: show
(actually, Porygon2 will die!)

And I guess Zangoose is a main character....
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: the bread dragon on August 30, 2016, 21:29: i wasn't joking

:/
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: Pam-the-Lamb on August 30, 2016, 23:55: The entire story could turn out to be a legal high-induced dream.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: sans the skeleton on August 31, 2016, 00:05: maybe these two sites will help you

http://writershelpingwriters.net/
https://www.philipbrewer.net/story-structure-in-short-stories/
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 00:37: One point i would make is, give the villains stronger motivations. I love seeing what makes characters tick, particularly the bad guys. Sure i get that nidorino likes nidorina, but what is it that drives him to take that extra step and kidnap her? Is it just plain loneliness, or does he not get that its not an okay thing to do, or what? And why does zangoose want the reward so badly? Does he have bills to pay, or medical insurance for family members, or is he just greedy?
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: kindtocrows on August 31, 2016, 01:36: ^Yes! Always try and give your characters strong motivations! It makes it so much more interesting! It adds so much to your story! Remember, most people think they're the hero, even villains. They may realize others think they're bad, but they don't, they think what they're doing is right even if no one else understands.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 31, 2016, 09:37: We've all been through what Nidorino's been through!

We've probably seen a girl that we like, but she's got someone else. It makes us so angry and jealous.

I guess Nidorino's plan is to kill mudkip, then Nidorina won't have mudkip anymore, so she'll have to be with Nidorino, who will probably marry her later.

Also, if someone could make these sprites (http://pkmn.net/forums/index.php?topic=106689.0) thanks!

I was thinking of having a train chase between mudkip and Nidorino. There are two pieces of music I could use:

this (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3zLi9tgnjRo)

OR

this (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GnrwM7vFn_U)

Which one should I use?
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 12:52: Depends what kind of tone and feeling you're going for. If you want the scene to be tense, the first one. If you want it to be more humorous, the second one.

Also, as far as motivation goes, jealousy isn't bad. It's not exactly the most original or complicated, but basic motivation is still 1000x times better than no motivation. Still, though, i feel like you could go deeper. A lot of people feel jealousy, but few would ever resort to kidnapping or murder. What was the last straw that led to nidorinos actions? Does he not understand that what hes doing is wrong, or does he just not care? And if he doesnt understand nor care, then why doesnt he? Has he spent his whole life in isolation and doesnt really know how to express his emotions properly, so it comes out as rage? Or was he raised to believe that he can do whatever he wants to people?
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 31, 2016, 14:04: Well, Nidorino doesn't want to hurt Nidorina (shown when he gives her a plate of Jelly Babies)

I was thinking. Maybe in the past, Nidorino used his technology to take over Kanto.

Quote from: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 12:52
A lot of people feel jealousy, but few would ever resort to kidnapping or murder.
Maybe Nidorino is one of those few!

Quote from: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 12:52
What was the last straw that led to nidorinos actions?
Maybe he sees Nidorina doing stuff with mudkip he wishes it was him she's doing it to?

He probably doesn't care. If he finds out anyone is plotting against him, or is his enemy or just generally does not like somebody or just out of pure meanness, the result is instant Porygonisation.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 14:24: Hmm, i see where youre coming from with all that, but there a couple of things id suggest that could make things a bit more interesting.

1) The whole porygonisation thing has a lot of potential. Developing a machine that can control minds is something any scientist might try and do, and maybe at first theyd only use it on people who genuinely wronged them. Its easy to see though how they might go too far, since every person they take control of is another person that will back up all their plans, until eventually theyve created their own personal echo chamber out of mind slaves. Kind of like a "this action cant be wrong because i have 1000 mind-controlled pokemon telling me its right" sort of thing. It could easily lead to a skewed sense of right and wrong and now im getting carried away, sorry about that.

(If you want to go even deeper down that rabbit hole you could have it so he didnt even realise that hed invented a mind control device at first, he just thought hed made a way of transforming pokemon into a new species, and by the time hed realised what the machine really was the damage to his personality was already done.)

2) Go into more detail about why nidorino likes nidorina. Sure, finding her attractive is one thing, but the evil creeper is pretty overdone imho. If you go deeper itd go a long way to humanising your villain (even though hes a pokemon, but whatever). Maybe he likes her sweetness, or he sees how innocent she is compared to her, or something along those lines. (I dont really know your characters that well, but think about what it is about nidorina that makes her unique and have the villain fall in love with that. That could actually be pretty interesting, i think.)
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 31, 2016, 14:53: Nidorino (if he even takes over Kanto) mainly used Porygonisation to take it over.

Also, I based Porygonisation on Roboticization (http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Roboticization_(Sonic_Underground)) and the Porygoniser on the Roboticizer (http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Roboticizer_(Sonic_Underground))

Also, there is no way of deporygonisation.

If you have managed to say any of those words, I congratulate you!

Let me tell you about the Porygons:

They seem to simply be robots rather than actual pokemon. They are used by Nidorino and only obey him. Porygons have no Personality. They capture pokemon to be Porygonised. They are armed with a laser that is fired from their snouts. They are also able to fly. However, Porygons are extremely weak and inefficient, being weak to water and laser fire and most pokemon attacks. Slicing or stabbing with blades also works. Crashing into walls or each other destroys them too.

Porygon2:

The result of a Porygon being Porygonised (though it overloads and destroys the Porygoniser) Porygon2 is much stronger than Porygons. It can also think, due to artifacial intelligence. It is armed with various weapons, including powerful lasers and machine guns.

Would you like me to tell you about Nidorina? Pm or on the forums?
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 14:58: Quote from: The name master on August 31, 2016, 14:53
Would you like me to tell you about Nidorina? Pm or on the forums?

If you think it would help me give you better advice, then sure.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 31, 2016, 16:14: Nidorino was designed to be the opposite of Nidorina.

Nidorina is a very friendly pokemon. She is generally nice to everyone she meets. Nidorina is armed with a knife (she claims it's for protection) she also says she knows the move metronome (though everytime someone asks about it, she finds any and all excuses not to use it)

The one thing she loves more than anything (with the possible exception of mudkip) is jelly babies!

I could probably tell you her whole back story (since I'm making an animation on it) but I'd be here for a while! And plus, I don't know if you want her whole life story! :D

Is that enough?
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 17:11: I feel the important thing theres the friendliness. Its a trait that im sure nidorino doesnt have, which means it might be something to look into. Maybe he doesnt understand how she can be so friendly, but from watching her he begins to admire her kindness and starts to fall in love?

(Maybe he even wants to be more like her but for some reason he feels he cant? I dont know, just a thought.)
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 31, 2016, 17:46: @the Hooded Trainer

Are you any good at making sprites?

Want to make these? (http://pkmn.net/forums/index.php?topic=106689.0)

Here's what I plan to do with Porygon2:

As nidorino is preparing to Porygonise a prisoner, the prisoner kicks a Porygon, making it fall backwards into the Porygoniser. Nidorino tries to turn it off, but is too late. The Porygon is Porygonised, but the Porygoniser is no longer operational (lucky for the prisoner!)

After examining the Porygon, Nidorino says it's not only strong, but can think too. He names it Porygon2 and sends it to destroy mudkip (alone)

Porygon2 finds mudkip and attacks him. Mudkip tries to attack back, but Porygon2 easily dodges any and all attacks. It captures mudkip, but he somehow escapes.

Mudkip later encounters him again in a factory where Porygons are made. There is a lot of molten metal. Porygon2 go all out on mudkip, trying to blast him with lasers. Mudkip manages to blast off one of it's legs, but it reattaches itself to it's body. After continuing to shoot him with lasers, Porygon2 reveals a machine gun in it's chest and fires. Mudkip blocks the attack with water and slides underneath Porygon2. This causes him to fire directly down, destroying the platform he's standing on and makes him fall into the molten metal below. After mudkip leaves (assuming Porygon2 is dead) Porygon2 jumps out of the molten metal, crawls to a electrical source and repowers himself and in the process turn into Porygon z.

That's all I've worked out so far!
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 18:43: Well that all sounds interesting, and I do like how youre using and adapting bits and pieces from canon.

And god no, I cant do sprite art. Ive tried in the past abd it wasnt pleasant.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on August 31, 2016, 19:54: Well, I won't be able to animate the final battle without those sprites!

This is what the fight will be based on

click here (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GGRqpuXKqWs)

I was thinking of having Nidorino make a robot version of Nidorina to kill mudkip, but that would pretty much be Porygon2 all over again!

Quote from: The Hooded Trainer on August 31, 2016, 18:43
canon
What is that?
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on September 01, 2016, 00:59: I dont know how to describe it, so ill let urban dictionary do the talking instead.

"Another word for official. Used quite often in fan fiction to differentiate between the official storyline in which the fan fiction is based on."

In other words, i was saying that youve taken bits of info from the actual pokemon games and adapted them to fit your story.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on September 01, 2016, 12:00: I have two ideas for Nidorino's defeat.

1) that battle I've mentioned a few times.

2) maybe after a battle with mudkip or something, Nidorino falls into the Porygoniser and is Porygonised. He defeated somehow soon after.

Which one do you like?

Idea 1 means Nidorino doesn't die and could return in the future, meaning a lot of opportunities and potential.

But idea 2 would mean Nidorino's death and will never return.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on September 01, 2016, 12:11: Really that ones up to you. It depends on whether you think hes an interesting enough villain for another story. Also bear in mind though that character death is a big thing, even if it is the death of a villain. Most people (good guys in particular) would have a strong emotional reaction to killing someone, even if it was an accident and the person for the most part deserved it.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on September 01, 2016, 12:27: I want to do idea 1, but that all depends on whether I can animate it or not.

Maybe after zangoose helps mudkip, he takes him to a place where there is a tribe of pokemon that hate Nidorino. Then zangoose tells Nidorino where mudkip is like I said before. Then Nidorino sends a group of Porygons to attack. Mudkip and everyone else defeats them all. The next morning, mudkip continues to go to Nidorino.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The Hooded Trainer on September 01, 2016, 13:17: Quote from: The name master on September 01, 2016, 12:27
I want to do idea 1, but that all depends on whether I can animate it or not.

Honestly it sounds like you want to do that more, so id say go for it. You might as well try animating it and see where it goes. The only way to improve at anything is to push yourself.

And everything else seems interesting enough. Id suggest gathering up all your ideas and sorting them out into a rough kind of guideline, before you actually start scripting and animating anything.
Title: Re: Story help
Post by: The name master on September 01, 2016, 13:43: Here is a rough time line:

Beginning > Nidorina gets kidnapped > train chase > where is Nidorina? > the journey begins > Nidorino reveals his plan to Nidorina > the ambush/saved by zangoose > the tribe > zangoose is Porygonised > the attack > Porygons defeated/Porygon2 is created > mudkip continues/the examination > mudkip encounters Porygon2 > battle Porygon2 > mudkip will be Porygonised! > Porygon2 returns > Porygon2 is defeated/arriving at Nidorino's fortress > the trap > the final battle > Nidorina is saved > the end

There is some music I want to use, but can't find it without background sounds.

From 1:10-1:38 (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_L66GGF2RYc)

If you have any questions about my time line, just quote the part you're asking about and ask your question.