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Misc => Random Randomness => Topic started by: Angelic Lapras King on September 09, 2013, 20:40
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So to save a long story short, my parents are getting tired of me "doing nothing" around the house (Despite all the favors I do for them) and I'm tiering of the way they want control over my life. With that said, while not definite and again just an idea I am considering for now, I'm considering moving out.
Now, one threat that keeps getting thrown at me is me being put into a bedsit. It's only recent I learnt of these, being like a flat but being one bedroom to yourself, with sharing the rest of the building and facilities with other people who live in other bedrooms. Basically I had a few questions to ask before I take any action.
1. Experience. Does anyone here have experience in living in a bedsit or know of anyone that does/had and if so, how was it? It's pretty much key to my decision as I don't want to live in a horrid place if they are like that.
2. Benefits and rent. As I'm a long term jobseeker, my JSA is my only income. Now my sister had previous blabbed about getting some of your rent paid/discounted if you're on benefits, so I was wondering if any of that was true or not. If in doubt, I can always ask her again (Though finding her number would be a little bit of a headache... @_@) but as I mentioned, JSA is my only income. T.T
3. Possessions. Now being the hardcore videogame/DVD fanatic that I am, is there a limit to how much stuff you can have in your room and bring in when you move in, or is it all AOK? Also, what about furniture like bookcases, desks and large TVs? There's always the option of being stuff in little by little at a time, but al my lovely stuff that I love so much is a HUGE factor.
And yeah, anything else you'd like to share would be a help also. Really feel I'm running out of options and feel this could be the only answer (Unless by some miracle, some mates and I decide to share a place, but who knows.....) .
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Rent will depend on the area, and while you can get housing benefits (look it up online, the link you want is the first result on Google) that only covers part of your rent. The same goes for everything else you have to pay for - electricity, gas, water, food (expect that to cost quite a bit).
Assuming your JSA is the standard amount, it is going to be incredibly tight. My basic advice is to save a bit - as you're going to need to be able to afford some initial items - the first month's rent and such, assuming the appartment is already furnished (which will be more expensive, else you need more furniture).
As much as you may like your video games and DVDs, I'd advice you to stop buying them from now on. With barely any income and needing to take care of more basic needs, you're not going to be able to spend money on them for a while. If you don't spend everything on your daily outgoings - rent, food and so on mentioned above - you might be able to get something with the excess, but be aware you'll want to start saving too. Things will break, unexpected bills will come in, and you need to be able to spend the money on them.
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Not that I am stereotyping at all here but it would probably not be a good to bring anything into a bedsit that couldn't be easily replaced.
Plus, you say you're long term unemployed. What areas of employment seeking are we talking about here? If you are very long term I think the job centre are obligated to send you to courses... Or at least your local adult education facility will offer free/discounted skills classes.
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I think Joeno has covered the financial side pretty well.
In terms of actually living in a bedsit, what you make of it depends entirely on the sort of people you end up living with. I rarely saw my housemates on the basis that our work schedules completely clashed - I'd be leaving the house shortly before they got in. Bedsits, house sharing, whatever you want to call it, is a good way of moving out into the world without really being left in the lurch. There are people there who are helping you pay the rent and bills (everything is split, you wont be paying just so much per sé, it's down to how much you all need to spend collectively) so if unexpected bills or whatever come in, you all chip in and pay. It's still a fair amount of money, especially in your area.
It's a little cheaper here, but I'm still finding it difficult to find somewhere affordable on minimum wage whilst doing my Masters, working part time, and paying for my Masters with as little help as possible. (I have a scholarship, but the remaining £1400 is coming out of my own pocket, and I am loathe to get a loan to help with rent and bills, so it's all about the budgeting here! Kind of in a similar situation, but I guess I've done it before, and student accommodation is pretty much the same thing just with loans)
What I would say is try to find somewhere with people you already know, just so that you don't feel like a stranger in your own home. The freedom is amazing - I essentially moved out when I was 18 and I don't venture back down that way all that often. If you know someone who has a room going, or other people who are looking to move, look together. I cannot stress how much easier it is. Having gone into a house of complete strangers before (and then kicked out because they used my work situation as a blame for a noise complaint caused by their drunken screaming and shouting) and lived with people I knew, I'd rather know where I stand in advance.
Usually bedsits are already furnished, so beds etc will already be provided. If it's unfurnished, I'd recommend recycling websites local to your area, you might be able to pick up some furniture cheap. Adverts in places like Tesco, Wilko etc might also shed some light on the issue. But you are really limited to what you can fit in your room - I've been in the flat at work for 8 and a half months now and I still have 3 crates unpacked because it's stuff I've accumulated but have no real way of getting rid of, or it's stuff I need but don't have the space for. Definitely cut back (I know, it's hard. eBay is your friend for more than just buying though) and have a think about what you /need/ as opposed to what you want. Saving money isn't easy!
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Everyone else seems to have summed it up nicely but one extra point to mention is that some flat/house shares will refuse you if you are unemployed. There are plenty that don't but you might find it a little harder than if you had a job. People worry you won't be able to pay your share of the bills I suppose.
Best of luck.
At uni I used Gumtree to get a wonderful housemate but SpareRoom and RightMove are worth a look too.
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Thanks for the advice guys.
Had a look on the housing benefits thing and did the calculation thing as an example if say, I was paying £65 a week and it seem to say it would pay that amount (Unless I picked a wrong option) along with my JSA but again yeah, the matter of bills do come into play, which they do not cover. >.<
But still, thank you again. Seems I'm guess gonna have to stick it out then till something comes along, and if my dad threaten the bedsit option again, I can at least use what some of you guys said (Waiting list, decline the unemployed etc.) to counter him at least, lol. XD
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[Postsniped, but here is some info anyway :) ]
I've not got much experience with bedsits, but I know a bit about house sharing, which is similar. With the right group of people it's also a great way to make friends, so if possible go for somewhere that doesn't have constantly changing housemates.
You may have trouble finding a place if you're unemployed, as landlords' main concern is whether you can afford the rent. That said, if you can find someone (parents?) to act as a guarantor for you you should find it easier (basically someone that agrees to cover the rent should you be unable to pay it). My main advice otherwise is to beware of dodgy landlords - if they take a large deposit it should always be held in one of a few government-approved 'protection schemes'. The vast majority of landlords are fine but it's important to be careful when signing contracts, as there are a few out there who prey on ignorance. A full inventory on arrival alongside photos taken by yourself is invaluable if they try to claim you've damaged anything when moving out.
As for contents, the limits are merely what will fit into your room. If you want to live in a sea of DVDs nobody is going to stop you, but furniture is usually provided (just ask the owner). Security may be something to keep in mind - contents insurance is good to have and is often included in rent for some places.
Good luck!
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but again yeah, the matter of bills do come into play, which they do not cover. >.<
Sorry to sound snarky here, but as that smiley is there... yeah, they wouldn't. These benefits are to help out, not to pay everything for you.
Your best option right now is still to continue doing your best to find a job. Employment will make it a lot easier to find a place you can afford and it sounds like it might clear the air at home anyway. I realise it's not as easy as that, but it probably remains your best option at this point.
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Sorry to sound snarky here, but as that smiley is there... yeah, they wouldn't. These benefits are to help out, not to pay everything for you.
Your best option right now is still to continue doing your best to find a job. Employment will make it a lot easier to find a place you can afford and it sounds like it might clear the air at home anyway. I realise it's not as easy as that, but it probably remains your best option at this point.
It sure is, but having 8 years with not much success really hits home when my parents are concerned, hence why the threat of being kicked and me considering the move.
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Mind if I ask what sort of area you're looking for a job in?
Edit: field, that is
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I would assume that after eight years, the answer to that would be 'anything'
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Now is definitely the time to be looking. Students are leaving and Christmas is coming,. People are looking for staff, even if its just temp or seasonal work. I've been offered temp work over Christmas and I'm not even looking, so it is definitely possible.
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It sure is, but having 8 years with not much success really hits home when my parents are concerned, hence why the threat of being kicked and me considering the move.
I am going to fire a whole bunch of questions at you re:job seeking. I know my 6 months isn't completely comparable (and I don't want this to become a swarm of people jumping on) but just want to ask a few things.
1) You say not much, are we talking no employment at all? Temporary work? etc.
2) Apart from school what other experiences are there on the CV?
3) Any volunteering or adult education courses that you have done?
4) What field are you applying to?
5) (not to be judgemental) What are you doing in an average week?
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I am going to fire a whole bunch of questions at you re:job seeking. I know my 6 months isn't completely comparable (and I don't want this to become a swarm of people jumping on) but just want to ask a few things.
1) You say not much, are we talking no employment at all? Temporary work? etc.
2) Apart from school what other experiences are there on the CV?
3) Any volunteering or adult education courses that you have done?
4) What field are you applying to?
5) (not to be judgemental) What are you doing in an average week?
1. Voluntary, and an agency which lasted all of 2 weeks before the work dried up then the agency closed down. @_@
2. 3 years of college in IT and Business and Retail, an Adult Education to better my Maths and English to O Level equivalent, film work (Which I have my best friend as an important reference if they ever call him), a City and Guilds in preparing for employment (Job Centre Course) and the stuff I mentioned in question one.
3. I currently do voluntary at a charity shop once or twice a week to keep me work active and to show employers I'm not just doing nothing throughout the course of my week.
4. Retail, IT, Admin, that sort of field, but mostly retail.
5. Applying to jobs, my voluntary work, helping parents out with little chores and problems every so often, sometimes sending off stuff I sell on ebay, going to where ever the Job Centre wants me to go (Usually courses every so often. T.T) as well as my bi-weekly signing on day, sending spec letters when I can (This thing I was on from the job centre sent spec letters for me for free, but as that's finished, I'll have to see how I can do it again), going to the high street for various things (Food, etc.), and in the evenings, pretty much me time (Gaming, TV, etc.). I usually have the laptop on all day for normal stuff and job searching (I also draw and write stories for money during the night).
Oh, and whenever I find time, I try and write stuff that I hope some day to get published. I know I might lack determination and discipline to write more often and lack whatever education writers do to make a career out of writing, but honestly I get new ideas for stories and chapters all the time. Not a day goes by when I don't get at least one new idea. I would love to make a career out of it, but till that day comes when I fully finish something, I do need employment till then. ^^;
On a slightly related matter, I noticed Bluewater was having a jobs faire next month so I registered and gone invited, so hoping to go to that at least and hope for the best (Even an Xmas temp would be a HUGE victory for me. lol.).
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Well, then I wish you the best of luck there.
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So to update...........I'm feeling trapped and unable to cope with various things.
As a result of me being long term unemployed, my dad has just thrown me onto a random college course (Brickwork) in the hope of it earning me work. Now I did try and get out of it, but...lets just say it ended with me getting my laptop taken away for a week. As far as the course is concerned, its not the line of work I ever wanted to do or even consider, but I have to do it whether I want to or not, because the alternative would be kicked out of the house, bedsit or not. It's fairly simple work, but I really don't want to end up forced to doing it for the rest of my life/career. Hell, I don't even know if there is much brick laying work out there, so even if I'm hired for small jobs, I dunno when the next job would be. I'm also not very fit, and pretty much useless at measurements like scale and area (Always have been) so I don't know how my parents expect me to make a career of it. @-@
As for what I would want to do, I had wanted to just get some job in retail (Retail Assistant sort of role) with Admin, IT, Office or Telesales being the back up. Of course, despite all the vacancies I apply for, I did not get much luck, with either no responce, rejection letters, or being told the excuse "We've had so many CVs, we've not had the time look all/reply to all of them.". Course, I had considered lowering my search to work I haddnt really applied for like supermarket and fast food joints, but before I could even get to it, the college and laptop thing happened. I would hope that maybe if I got work from one of those two sectors, it could be a good reason for my parents to let me do it and not the college work, but I'm not so sure. I'd rather be working then studying, which just makes this whole situation in my life so frustrating.
As for long term ambitions, I'd really want to make a career out of creative writing, like writing stories, getting them published and making money out of them perhaps as books or Kindle....erm ebooks. I have dozens of ideas that expand every single day with a new idea at least. What held me back was not finding the time or just plain getting lazy (Which I'll admit, did sort of happen a little bit with the job searching as well, but it did pick up a little with the treats of getting thrown out.). While I do probably lack a bit of grammer skills, I do intend to mass edit my work once I got to the point where I have the story structure written. I do draw and write fanfiction work on Deviantart, which does pile up a number of commissions for fanfics (Though of course not enough to earn a living sadly...haha.) as well as quite a few favs so I know I could self-advertise a book like hell if I got published and hopefully make some money off of one.
But yeah, I am feeling both trapped and lost at the moment. Iprobably should speak up more to my parens more often, but the fact they have the say in kicking me out or not does scare me to say anything. I would love to move out and escape this worry, but as touched upon before, Jobseekers won't really cover it and with all my stuff, I don't want to have to resort to a bedsit with people I don't really trust. If I got a job anytime soon, I would hope to be earning enough to save for perhaps an appartment, if not the deposit for a place in a number of a few years (I really have no experience with home buying, but then I've not had the oppertunity).
So yeah, I perhaps need some ol' career/life advise as I am feeling down about this and starting to feel unsure of myself even. I apologize if there's mispelling or whatnot, but I am typing this on my Wii U (You know why.@_@).
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I suppose the best advice I can give is not to let it get you down. Motivation is going to be a critical part of getting yourself through this situation. It might seem hopeless, but often the best opportunities are those we simply didn't think to consider. I've a few friends who found themselves enjoying jobs which they never thought would be right for them, so don't knock anything until you've tried it. :)
If you're having trouble getting employment, you want to make sure that you're always building skills. Brick laying isn't a bad start if it gets you something but I understand you'll want a job that suits you better. Have you considered looking into apprenticeships? Electrics are a good area to get into which is a bit more weighted towards logic rather than manual work, if that's what you're after. You don't get paid much but it's a decent way to find a trade for yourself. Also - how are you applying to jobs? If you want to work in a shop, walking in and talking to the manager, introducing yourself, etc. will get you a lot further than mailing in forms like every other candidate. Having someone you know that can vouch for you is also a good leg up. Be bold, be friendly and just be yourself!
If you want to get into creative writing as a career, while self publishing on Amazon or similar is a way to make money, it's probably not a realistic means of supporting yourself at the moment. At least for now, I guess it's going to have to take a back seat and be something you do in your spare time until you build a reputation sufficient to make a living off of publishing. That doesn't mean you won't make it, but many great writers didn't make a career out of it immediately.
Good luck!
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I feel like you are looking far too much into the future. You were noting worries about 'not wanting to do X for the rest of your career', but I think that's the wrong angle. I can't emphasise enough how key getting started is. You may have to start doing something that isn't perfect for you, but after you have experience under your belt, money in your pocket and a bit more confidence you'll be much better positioned to move into different fields that you feel are better for you in the long run.
Go to every single supermarket within a 30 minute bus ride as soon you are able to read this - introduce yourself and ask them for an application form (if they don't have any, ask what the website is), and return it to them in person the moment you've found a pen to fill the form in with. I would also recommend including a small printed cover letter with each of these, briefly detailing your qualifications, the volunteer work you have done, and any work experience you have.
Hell, go into as many shops as you can. Produce a 1-2 page CV and print a load of them off (Your local library should have printing facilities. Seemingly minor thing, but staple the two pages together, too, instead of having them loose). Hand them in to any places that are accepting CVs for applications. If they say they have no vacancies, ask them to hold onto your CV anyway and for them to give you a call when a vacancy does crop up.
Haven't had a response from a place in a month or two? Give them another visit! Remind them who you are. Hand them another CV/application form. Be persistent.
Like Daedalus said, if you have someone you can put on your CV as being able to provide a reference for you then that will help. Perhaps someone who knows you from the volunteer work you have done.
If you need someone to proof read or check the layout of your CV then hit me up on Facebook (I'm Luke, from the last London meetup - you have me on there already) and I'll try and help you refine it to make it more eye-catching to a reader.
This post may come across as brash in parts - I am not going to offer you my sympathies because that won't help. However, you are more than capable of doing this, and getting yourself a job.
You are the only master of your life. Psyche yourself up. Be determined, and don't get complacent. This is your opportunity to get the ball rolling and take on the challenges you face. Focus every fibre of your being into getting work, even if it is a supermarket job (infact, those are good choices). Now is not the time to be picky. All your other problems will begin to fall away after that.
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I can't emphasise enough how key getting started is. You may have to start doing something that isn't perfect for you, but after you have experience under your belt, money in your pocket and a bit more confidence you'll be much better positioned to move into different fields that you feel are better for you in the long run.
I agree with this.
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Head for an apprenticeship in whatever it is you want to do.
If you're on an apprenticeship you'll be earning almost double the money you get on JSA (Between £100-£300 a week, normally increases to national minimum wage after 6 months) and your parents won't be threatening to kick you out...not to mention the prospect of employment at the end. If you are long term unemployed you will need to 'wow' whoever the apprenticeship is with in order for them to choose you over someone who's fresh out of school/college. I've been unemployed for a year and I can manage this pretty well, it's just about getting the enthusiasm edge over the other applicants - showing you're interested and stuff. The Job Centre should be able to put you on employability courses that will teach you this stuff if you're really clueless on it, just ask them - they're almost always going.
Don't worry about the fact you're doing bricklaying right now, I just lost a shot at a VERY nice IT apprenticeship (because I can't drive and this was required). When I was talking to the employer he said that the last apprentice used to be a tiler but wanted to get into IT because he was a really big gamer. He's currently doing a sponsored degree with them and working on a full wage.
If the college course you're doing is keeping a roof over your head then that's all good but don't count yourself out too soon.
As for your creative long term dreams, keep plugging away at them as a hobby every single day until you can find an opening to earn money from them.
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The only thing I'd also like to add is to be cautious about apprenticeships with regards to what you'll do afterwards. There is no guarantee of work once it's finished. While many offer them because they need to train new workers, there are some companies out there that just use apprentices as cheap labour that they don't have to obey minimum wage laws for. At the end of the apprenticeship these places will just tell you there's no job for you and get a new apprentice, rather than raise your pay. It's not a huge risk, but it's something to be aware of - I know a couple of people that have been stung by it.
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The only thing I'd also like to add is to be cautious about apprenticeships with regards to what you'll do afterwards. There is no guarantee of work once it's finished. While many offer them because they need to train new workers, there are some companies out there that just use apprentices as cheap labour that they don't have to obey minimum wage laws for. At the end of the apprenticeship these places will just tell you there's no job for you and get a new apprentice, rather than raise your pay. It's not a huge risk, but it's something to be aware of - I know a couple of people that have been stung by it.
Yeah that's very true, I've heard similar. Though once you've got that experience under your belt the rest falls into place fairly easily, it's one of the more effective ways of getting out of that vicious 'No experience -> No job' 'No job -> no experience' cycle.