Topic: I need some advice to help a friend

[Petzbreeder]

As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I go to an art group with a few friends every tuesday.

One of my friends is in his early 50s and is struggling to get a girlfriend. Every time he finds someone he likes, he will always just strait-up ask them "Do you want to go out with me?" even if its a person he barely even knows!

Now, he told me today that he found someone on the internet via some website he uses and wants to go out with her. My friends and I all told him that he can't just ask her out straight away and has to get to know her first.

He then told me that he can't be bothered to get to know her, as doing that takes too long and he just wants to be in a relationship. I told him that if he were to say that to the woman he likes, all that will do is give her the impression that he doesn't want to know her at all, and just wants sex!

He tries the exact same approach with every woman he meets (even me on one occasion!) and is clueless as to why no-one wants to go out with him.

How can I help him?
Any advice would be appreciated.

[Kerou 犠牲]

You've got to tell him that being patient and getting to know the person properly is crucial, especially when meeting someone online. It's very risky so you've got to be 100% sure. Rushing in with it will immediately put them off most likely because like him they'll need to be sure, plus you need to understand their circumstances top (maybe she's not looking for a relationship? unless it's a dating site in which case the situation's a bit different and I guess you can do that? Dunno really, haven't used one before).

At least he's not afraid to ask though ^^;

All you can do is be really clear about the point and make sure that if he definitely seeks a relationship that he does it the right way otherwise it won't go well most likely

[sylar]

tell him to quit being sleazy and petulant

"i dont wanna get to know them" the hell does that mean lol what a douche

[Petzbreeder]

maybe she's not looking for a relationship? unless it's a dating site in which case the situation's a bit different and I guess you can do that? Dunno really, haven't used one before.

I think he did say that the website he uses is a dating website, so he should be fine there.

At least he's not afraid to ask though ^^;

Johnny Bravo from the cartoon series isn't afraid to ask either, look where he ends up at the end of every episode!

"i dont wanna get to know them" the hell does that mean lol what a douche

Impatience - The enemy of all relationship-seekers.

[Kerou 犠牲]

I think he did say that the website he uses is a dating website, so he should be fine there.

Johnny Bravo from the cartoon series isn't afraid to ask either, look where he ends up at the end of every episode!

show him Johnny Bravo and tell him that's how he'll end up then =P

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 Convince him to join a gym, if he gets serious about it then it might take his mind off women. To be fair, he'll probably be doing it in order to attract them... 


 Maybe you could suggest to go to singles night or to try speed dating. I'm guessing it's for people who just want relationships.

 Or he could hook up with a single mother.

[Shaymin]

ok so this guy needs it drilled in to his head you can't just ask someone out the moment you meet them cause that's really kind of creepy. he's in his 50s, so the dating scene irl is probably lame as it is anyway, but even if he wants to date ladies he meets online, he needs needs needs to get to know them first. what if they turn out  to have some personality trait he hates? or she does something that he dislikes?

try and tell him women won't just "go out with him" cause he asks. that's not how people work. i wouldn't go out with someone i'd just met, so he just needs to know to talk to these women BEFORE he asks them out for coffee or something, else they might get creeped out and he might ruin any chances he has if he dives right in

ps also tell him women aren't gonna sleep with him willy nilly

[the bread dragon]

tell him to quit watching frozen because it doesnt work that way you arent marrying someone the day you meet them

[Awkward Squirtle]

Alternatively make him watch frozen and see how things go down if you do.

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

buy him a fedora


alternatively tell him that single people from a pokemon forum want to give him advice, perhaps we could do a little matchmaking here???????????????????????

[Xagor]

But I always take my advice from teenagers on a Pokemon forum.