Basically, while following site rules (and avoiding race jokes, please avoid those), tell the worst, most punniest joke you can and the next person was to judge how horrible it is. I don't think a demonstration is needed for this.
Can you shoryukan? Sure you can.
Did you hear about the magical tractor?
It drove down the lane and turned into a field!
A broccoli went to a restaurant and was asked if he would like to see the special. The waiter told him it was meat pie to which the broccoli replied "No thanks, I'm a veggie!"
You have been a wonderful audience, thank you and goodnight.
The tractor one was so bad that I laughed a little. I'll be honest.
Katniss and Peeta? Please. If you want real hunger games, try green hippo vs. orange hippo.
Samuel L. Jackson thought snakes on a plane were bad enough, but that's nothing compared to dinosaurs on a spaceship, is it?
my entire existence
I was talking on showdown and one of the rooms was so dead, I thought that it was Fred Weasley.
What does a cosmic duck say?
Quark.
I love these jokes sorry...
Two antennas met on a roof.
They fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much.
BUT THE RECEPTION WAS GREAT.
^ I like that a lot more than I should omg
Ooo how about
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer
What do you get when you play tug-of-war with a pig?
PULLED PORK.
And I swear that was so terrible I snorted.
I don't know any bad jokes but I found this really bad pick-up line somewhere.
"Your parents must be terrorists because you are the bomb!"
Yeah, bad!
A girl entered a shop looking for a t shirt with a Union Jack on it. She asked the shop assistant what colour they were and he said "they come in red, white and blue, of course!" And the girl replied "I'll have a red one please!!"
That one came from my dad when was younger. Bit sexist?
The only bad joke I know is the Green Party.
Here's a joke: American politics.
this thread is a joke because there's been two consecutive political jokes
Yeah well bread you know what people say about you when you're not doing anything?
They say you're loafing around
Yeah how about them apples huh
i wear loafers too
Those loafers aren't worth anything if the leather hasn't come from specially bread cows.
We need to stop loafering around and come up with new jokes.
If we're going to think of new jokes we'll knead to use our loaves.
are you implying these ones are going stale
no, but we are getting toward the heels of the loaf
You doughn't say... ):
Has this turned into a bread pun convention, because this thread seems to have gone arye
Well, even we are arye, at yeast the PKMN.NET community have risen to the challenge posed by bread puns
Ok, this one is a true story:
We ordered a pizza for lunch today, and the last 3 numbers in the order number were 404.
I think we had an error.
A man walks into a bar.
OUCH. :-/
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y
Someone posts in forums 'Help! I can't post! Can someone help me?'
I'll let you figure that one... -.-
An orange walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here.'
'Think about it... An orange is food.'
I have plenty more where those came from...
Do you want to hear a joke?
Ninja Pig.
*Walks into room, stands there for a moment, then walks away*
A wizard once used magic then accidentally glued us together. It was a spellbinding experience.
What do they do with chemists when they die?
They barium.
I tried to tell a good chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
Why can eagles never get sick?
Because that is ill-eagle.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
^That was a wonderful joke
Why is Helen Keller a bad driver?
Because she's dead.
What do you get when you cross sandwich fillings with flying vehicles?
A JELLYCOPTER
*crickets*
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
You Pokemon!
What do you call fifty penguins in the middle of a desert?
Lost.
The ongoing history of the Australian government.
Deja Moo.
The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
^ okay I lol'd
Man goes to a zoo. He sees no lions. He sees no monkeys. He sees no parrots. Only a dog. It was a shih tzu.
I'm hoping this was forum appropriate >.>
You're good. It took me a while to get it, but it was a good chuckle.
Two muffins are baking in an oven. The first muffin says, "Wow, it's really getting hot in here." The second muffin says, "Wow... a talking muffin!"
Quote from: Breaking Blaziken on September 29, 2015, 21:54
You're good. It took me a while to get it, but it was a good chuckle.
Two muffins are baking in an oven. The first muffin says, "Wow, it's really getting hot in here." The second muffin says, "Wow... a talking muffin!"
There was a kid when I was in school who's go to joke was this
I was hoping I'd never have to see / hear it ever again
On Star Wars The Old Republic, I sent one of my companions on a mission called Delivery Failure...... He failed it!
A squirrel and an owl are watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.
It seems there was this elephant who decided to get a part time job at a bakery* to save up to buy a toilet. When he showed up to the interview the manager asked the elephant what qualifications he had to work a part time job. As the elephant passionately laid out his extensive retail and patisserie experience, the manager interrupted the him curtly exclaiming, "Wait— if you buy a toilet, and flush your business-- what will the poor dung beetles eat?" Just then the elephant straightened his tie and tossed this beauty of a zinger orally into the ether: "They shall eat your finest croissants," the elephant intoned, "And doubtless that they shan't taste the diff."
*you should know that this particular bakery is known for the unusual poor quality of its croissants
(true story btw)
My french teacher had this really strange pig balloon in her room when my class was in there. So, I turned to my friend and said, "You know, there's something about that balloon that just isn't kosher."
Who was Corperal Punishment?
What do you get when you push a drum set over a cliff?
(https://40.media.tumblr.com/6c59afbaa3a32a4efe822789055d0d41/tumblr_inline_nwe6omf3lF1tb1x4o_540.png)
Yo momma is so fat that she needs to see a doctor because obesity is a huge problem in America today.
How many Pikachu does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: What are you? Stupid?! Why would a Pikachu need a light bulb if it can make its own light?!
How many Geodude does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just use the Pikachu.
^Well aren't you proud of yourself?
Why couldn't the dinosaur break through the brick wall?
.....i'm waiting for you to answer here.
White people
I'm surprised nobody said this yet tbh
Al Sharpton still being counted as a Reverend.
Two men met up with each other after not seeing each other in years. The first guy said, "Dude, we should hang." The second guy is like, "Totally!" They were found later at the gallows.
Dead people are smarter than children. Do you want to know why?
Tell a child to not touch your stuff and they'll touch it anyway.
Tell a dead person to not touch your stuff and they'll leave it alone!
How do you become famous? Marry a Kardashian.
How do you make music?
You poison it.
Quote from: E.K.A.N.S. on February 09, 2016, 21:12
How do you make music?
You poison it.
fight me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what do you call a cow with no legs?
free beef
What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is extremely heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Brace yourselves, this is really bad.
How do you torture a female pigeon?
You Skinner alive.
Cucumbers are cool!
Not funny?
Good! Then it's a bad joke!
Haikus are awesome
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
Can you pull off a shoryuken combo with Ryu just like Trela? Sure you can.
Why was 7 afraid of 8?
'Cause 8-bit mudkip.
Pokemon are very backwards creatures. Why?
E.K.A.N.S!
Why can't you pin a Fire type down with a Bug type attack?
Because you can't Pin Sir Blaziken.
...This joke is garbage. It might as well be a Trubbish.
It is kinda hard to pin me down when you live no where near me. Isn't it?
What does the lead single off of My Chemical Romance's album, The Black Parade, have in common with the band itself?
They're both Dead!
So I showed my friend my Mismagius the other day. He looked like he'd seen a ghost.
Gogoat appears in my Pokédex, only a female, but I swear, I never met herbivore!
I don't like ice types. They always act so cold!
I have a Giratina, but he doesn't listen well. Guess his thoughts are in another world...!
I wonder if Bulbasaur likes memes. I mean, he likes vines!
My bike didn't go as fast as usual. It was two-tired!
That's it I'm leaving.
Bernie Sanders' track record with older voters.
Ok, now for an actual joke:
A doctor tells a patient "You only have 5 to live." So the Patient asks "5 what?" The doctor responds "4." The patient then asks "4? 4 what?" After this, the doctors says "3...2..."
I'm looking for Amanda Love. In fact, most women are!
I moved into a new house and I found a washing machine that the previous owners had left. So I put 14 shirts in, pulled the chain and I ain't seen them since!
They say a picture says a thousand words. So why do the mods complain that we aren't following the three word rule if we post a picture on a thread without any text?
because the img link with the url inside has no spaces, and is therefore only one /written/ word.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a Slowpoke?
Answer: The Slowpoke is much more intelligent.
Two words:
DONALD TRUMP!!!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a ventriloquist dummy?
Answer: The dummy can keep its big mouth shut and has much better hair.
I don't understand politics at all.
My mum told me to vote for a party, and I did. So where is my invitation?
This thread is now just going to be Donald Trump jokes now, isn't it?
I have such a bad habit.
(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTXNDMjjgNrxRcVD9hzyFFVtsPDdU7ACHOV_cS7rKJH7trxWuKoJw)
Any other bad habits?
No, I have nun.
Guy 1: A dyslexic man walks into a bra!
Guy 2: And?
Guy 1: That's the whole joke!
Here's another!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the ugly man's house!
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken!
I found this on Youtube.
Roses are red, nuts are brown
Skirts go up, pants go down
Body to body, skin to skin
When its stiff, stick it in
The longer its in, the stronger it gets
It goes in dry, and comes out wet
It comes out dripping, and starts to sag
Its not what you think
[spoiler]Its a teabag![/spoiler]
Quote from: The name master on November 16, 2016, 14:54
This thread is now just going to be Donald Trump jokes now, isn't it?
The real joke is that he's still our president despite these cruel blows.
It is really easy to steal food from McDonalds.
Why?
Because they have no burger alarms.
Buddy of mine left a 7-10 earlier today at our match against another school. So I looked him in the eyes and said "Don't worry, split happens."
If a quiz makes you quizzical what does a test make you?
[spoiler]Testical![/spoiler]
Charizard's Flamethrower can melt rocks
[spoiler]Not very effective against rock types![/spoiler]
Here's one I'm going to turn into an animation.
Pizza Man: Hello! Welcome to Pizza Hut! May take your order?
Kanga: One Pepperoni Pizza!
Pizza Man: Would you like it cut into six or eight slices?
Kanga: I'm not hungry enough to eat eight, so six will do!
Quote from: Poison2007 on February 10, 2016, 11:01
what do you call a cow with no legs?
free beef
Um no that's
ground beef.
What do you get when you cross an Eevee and a French General?
Napoleon.
Hey! I saw Yo' Momma in Kanto! She was sleeping around Route 12!
Germans are really bad at playing The Sims. They think killing them is the whole point of the game.
[spoiler]The Sims is called Die Sims in German![/spoiler]
Quote from: 2OrSomething on February 24, 2017, 18:55
Um no that's ground beef.
no its free beef because it cant run away :///////////////
What's the best way to carve wood?
Whittle by whittle.
Legend has it that if you play a nickelback song backwards, you'll hear devil worship.
Even worse: Play it forwards and you'll hear nickelback
Quote from: Poison2007 on February 26, 2017, 21:50
no its free beef because it cant run away :///////////////
No it's ground beef because it's on the ground :///////////////
I will fight you on this
I threw some shredded cheese at a kid and they ran off. What an ungrateful child.
There were no genies or magic carpets. Aladdin was just really high!
My choir teacher keeps telling us to be louder, but singing loudly just isn't my forte.
I feel like i've told this joke already but i'll tell it anyways:
So a farmer had 2 cats, one named "one two three" cat, and the other name "un deux trois" cat. He took the two of them out on a boat in the middle of a river. But alas the boat sank. The farmer was ok and "one two three" cat could swim. "Un deux trois" cat drowned however, because un deux trois quatre cinq.
I had a quesadilla with three cheeses today.
I guess that makes it a tresadilla.
The word of the day is "legs" let's go back to my place and spread the word!
I don't know if dirty jokes are allowed, but I can always delete it if not!
Quote from: SirBlaziken on February 11, 2016, 02:18
What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is extremely heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
My mum had to explain this one to me.
You know what's funny? Ritchie called his Charmander Zippo.
Check out this picture.
(https://img1.etsystatic.com/140/1/12636723/il_570xN.990997599_mcsj.jpg)
I hope I don't break any rules with this but here it goes:
Why did the chicken crossed the street?
Because North Korea's missiles wouldn't reach that long! <e,e>r
^Nah you're good (trust me, I have some really awful ones i'd love to share)
I went to the doctor yesterday and said "Doctor doctor, i'm having some really strange dreams. Two nights ago I dreamed I was a ford pickup, and last night I dreamed I was an SUV!" He waved off my concerns and simply said "I think you're having an auto body experience."
A few school jokes:
Google is your friend.
Google Translate is your French teacher's worst enemy!
[spoiler]If you don't get it, I learned more French from Google Translate than I did from my French teacher.[/spoiler]
If I could describe school with a number, it would be 7734.
Why?
Put it into a calculator and turn it upside down.
[spoiler]It says hell.[/spoiler]
Kid: Hey, Mum. You told me that I'd learn something if I went to school.
Mum: Of course, dear.
Kid: I've been waiting here for hours. Are you sure this is the right place?
Children are smarter than fish.
Why?
Children only go to their school for a few years. Fish never leave their school!
[spoiler]A school is the name for a group of fish.[/spoiler]