Character name: Jay Trusedale
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Description: Jay is around 5ft 6'', and has black emo style hair it is straightened across his face, and his left side is gelled so it sticks outwards. Jay wears a white V-neck jumper with his sleeves constantly rolled up, he also wears black jeans and white sneakers, his bag is jet black in colour. He has a mixture of a stocky and thin build he has a six pack but his shoulders are small. He also has bright green eyes.
Personality: Jay is quite a happy person and loves interacting with others. He can also be quite helpful and tries to help anyone that's in trouble if he can. However his battling style is completely different he battles fiercely and never holds back, he shows no emotion at all when he's in a battle he just keeps the same blank look all the way through.
History: Jay is originally from the quiet town of Oldale. His life was pretty quiet until his brother Christian became the Hoenn league champion, the rest of Jay's family where proud of him, they would constantly talk about him, but when someone did ask his parents about Jay the most common response was ''oh I have to be going now'', Jay felt as if he was being push aside since his brother became league champion. Christian then decided to move to Kanto where after about a year he became the Kanto league champion, this led to more and more people ignoring Jay, he even felt ignored in his own house he'd be talking to his parents when one of them would say suddenly, ''oh Jay I didn't see you there'' or ''that's nice Christian'' confusing him for his brother. Shortly after his win in the Kanto league Christian disappeared which of course Jay was blamed for. A short while after Christian's disappearance his parents split up and Jay was being sent back and for between them, Jay was constantly getting verbal abuse because of this, his parents would say things like ''why can't you be like your brother?'', ''if you were a good trainer your brother wouldn't be missing'' or ''why couldn't it be you missing instead of Christian?'' Because of this Jay started to hate his brother, so he went on his own journey to find, defeat and be better than his brother ever was.
Friends and enemies:
Lauren Tennant [Shaymin]
Oscar Moore [Unloved Kid]
Lily Perinocles [Roxxy]
Zach Blaze [Ashk3]
Enemies
Christian Trusedale
Pokémon: Torchic Lvl 12 (Male) (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/255.png)
[Abillity = Blaze]
[Nature = Quiet]
Moves:
~ Scratch
~ Growl
~ Focus Energy
~ Ember
Torchic is a quiet Pokémon he prefers to keep away from Jay's other Pokémon and other people's for that matter. The only time he interacts is if he's on his own with Jay, he can also get intimidated very easily and scares quickly.
Aron Lvl 11 (Female) (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/304.png)
[Abillity = Rock Head]
[Nature = Adamant]
Moves:
~ Rock Tomb
~ Harden
~ Mud Slap
~ Headbutt
Aron can be quiet violent she tends to anger quiet easily and can get aggressive towards other Pokémon.
Shinx Lvl 5 (Male)(http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/bw/403.png)
[Abillity = Intimidate]
[Nature = Brave]
Moves:
~Tackle
~Leer
~Spark
Key Items:
Green Pokédex
x3 Pokeballs
x2 Potions
Trainer Card
Edit
Jay caught Shinx just outside Sandgem.
You have got some good info here, but I am not going to approve you for these reasons.
1: You've made some simple errors in your grammar and spelling. Read over and you should see them (for example, it is Oldale, not Ordale and you have left a couple of commas without spaces and stuff).
2: I'm not happy with the description picture being something plucked off of Google. How do I know who it belongs to?
3: I'm not entirely happy with you being 'Cyrus' brother'. There is nothing about Cyrus winning Pokémon leagues and him having a brother called Jay Trusedale (unless you're making up a new Cyrus, which is confusing nonetheless).
OK sorry about these I'll get on with them now, and yeah number three kind of confused me, shall I make Jay have a brother by creating a different character form for him or just scrap that idea all together? No problem either way as I got a plan for both. :D
Still not entirely sure with you using another person's picture. Saying 'credit to' isn't really good enough for me, personally. Sorry. :(
As for the brother thing, just make your brother someone else rather than an actually game character if you still want the storyline. Bending Pokémon's history by saying Oldale used to have loads of people there because of Jay's brother is also quite OTT... meh.
Still some spelling errors and such. I'll help you find them if you can't when you're editing.
OK I'll remove the picture and and edit my history, I'll also check through for those spelling errors I'll let you know if I can't find them.
Edit
OK I have changed these things now I can't see anymore spelling mistakes so please let me know if there are any. Also when I said ''Cyrus was Jay's brother'' I didn't mean the leader of Team Galactic, it was just the first name that popped into my head. :D
You are still missing quite a lot of commas, as some of your sentences are just too long without the punctuation. Look for them, if you can't I'll point them out, even though I really shouldn't have to as they are quite blatant. You've also put 'where' instead of 'were' and you have written 'became the became the' somewhere. =]
OK now I've read over it a few times I've added the comma's in (at least I think I have), also changed the repetition error.
Looking good. Not perfect, nobody is (not even me!! lol~), but it is a really nice form. Just change 'family where' to 'family were' and you're set to start PLCing!
Approved! =]
To be able to post in the main forum you'll have to follow these simple steps.
* Go to your profile page
* Look in the "Modify Profile" drop down tab and select "Group Membership"
* Look for the member group called "PLC access" and select "Request Membership."
* After you have been approved, if you find yourself unable to post anywhere other than the PLC, go back to the "Group Membership" page and make sure that you make "Registered Members" your primary group.
I'll approve you after that and you'll be able to post in the main forum. :)
Jay joined a new topic Sinnoh's Lament.
Added Lauren Tennant,Oscar Moore ,Lily Perinocles and Zach Blaze to friends.