Topic: I need help with a friend of mine...

[Meowstic Royalty]

A close friend of mine has been going through a lot of pain recently, both emotionally and physically. I want to help, but I dont know how I can.

Firstly, I am one of the only friends she has got. She says she wants to be alone. Through life, she has had very few friends, and almost all of them have left her or were only using her. Because of this, she learned to not trust anyone. She began spreading rumors about herself (for example, a rumor that she was the cause of death of a young child years ago). She did that to keep everyone away from her, and it worked. No one wanted to go near her. And no one would accept her. I was the first to realize that that wasn't who she really was. She is sweet, innocent and kind. But everyone else thought she was sadistic, violent and aggressive.

I was the first to accept her for who she is after finding out the rumor wasn't true. She said she wanted to be alone, so she told me to tell no one else that the rumor was a lie. I agreed, because it was what she wanted. So I have told no one else to this day. But now its reaching crisis levels.

Secondly, she has suffered from depression since an extremely young age. She has been bullied and used for years. That is why she wanted to be alone in the first place. I was one of the few people she trusted. She has had thoughts of suicide throughout her life, but I made sure I was always there for her. With just one person to trust though, despite my efforts I still worry about her future.

Lastly, she's caught an Upper Respiratory Infection (URI) that affects the Lungs and Throat. She can't speak properly, move properly or eat properly. Even her own family are making fun of her for it, not helping in any way. I would help if I could, but sadly I have no medical experience and when I took her to the doctor, he said no treatment is available at the moment "for medical reasons".

At school, this illness is making her already-terrible school life even worse. She is being called names, annoyed and even physically hurt because of it. She is also suffering from extreme second degree sunburn, with pain extending to the point where even wearing clothes stings like hellfire. She is covered in blisters, and yesterday she was sent to A&E because she was shoved into the railings, making blisters pop and bruises to cover her body. The doctor recommended she stays off school until medical treatment becomes available, but the family won't let her.

Please help. I've done all I can to help her case, but her thoughts of suicide and anger still flow through her.

She needs help, quickly.

[SirBlaziken]

The doctor recommended she stays off school until medical treatment becomes available, but the family won't let her.

Ok, that's not right.

Even if it was a recommendation, here school life as you said is a living hell. She's teased, shunned, bullied, and treated like she's not worth it. This boils my blood, because I went through the same thing, but not as bad. Her family should open their eyes, this time from school could help her clear her head. Then again, it's not that easy most of the time.

Lastly, she's caught an Upper Respiratory Infection (URI) that affects the Lungs and Throat. She can't speak properly, move properly or eat properly. Even her own family are making fun of her for it, not helping in any way.

Say what?

Now this is even worse! They know something's wrong, and they make fun of her for it? What kind of family is that? They should be helping her. This family does not know that even standing by and not doing anything to help is actually worse than making fun of her!

She is being called names, annoyed and even physically hurt because of it.

This is also not right. How come no one has stepped in to knock it off? No other students? Teachers? NO ONE? That's what's wrong with today's society, not just in America. We all pick and tease people for their quirks, not seeing them for who they are. The ones who do stand up to them are cast aside and teased as well. I'm talking from experience here again. And people using her? Not right. Although it's not the right thing to do and may make it worse, you need to help her stand up for herself. Make the people back off, without physical violence.



My advice is not great and you'd probably hear this all from someone else, but it's all I've got. Next person please.

[the bread dragon]

This is also not right. How come no one has stepped in to knock it off? No other students? Teachers? NO ONE? That's what's wrong with today's society, not just in America. We all pick and tease people for their quirks, not seeing them for who they are. The ones who do stand up to them are cast aside and teased as well. I'm talking from experience here again. And people using her? Not right. Although it's not the right thing to do and may make it worse, you need to help her stand up for herself. Make the people back off, without physical violence.

no one is saying anything because they most likely believe the rumors she spread about herself. (tbh i wouldnt defend someone if i thought they killed a child, not a good thing to be doing.)



talk to your parents about it, they ///usually/// know how to help and/or handle things like this. you could possibly get the police involved for child abuse. you arent fit to raise a child if you make fun of them for a disease

[Kerou 犠牲]

Didn't notice this thread earlier, will help as much as I can. Gonna first consider the medical point, want to quote SB2k too because it relates to what he said in a way.

Her family should open their eyes, this time from school could help her clear her head.

This is kind of an interesting subject because I presume the doctor has only spoken of this regarding the URI and the burns; not the depression? From a depression standpoint she needs to remain productive and at that age education is the best form of it, however, given her medical situation it becomes very difficult. The best solution would be private tutoring / home schooling I guess if it's so problematic. This in itself is a bad situation for the family because it's not easy to set that up due to schedules. I don't really know much about URI so I can't really speak on that perspective properly because the burn treatment would also heavily influence that sort of thing (since it seems like everything coming together is really not helping). It's really something she should speak with her doctor in depth about, he/she would be the best form of help she can get from this area. How did she get burned? It seems painful but surely a doctor can approve for medication for that in the form of a cream, recover for a few days and go back to school? Maybe I'm being a bit naive here, sorry if I am. The key point for the general medical and depression stance is the doctor and the prescriptions provided.

Family situation is kinda frustrating, they need to be supportive a lot more. Are they aware of just how much everything is hurting her? Sometimes they don't know the full effect and presume the child is making a meal of it, everything needs to be completely clear so it can be sorted as quickly as possible.

Anyways, I'll move onto specific points in your post now =]

Firstly, I am one of the only friends she has got. She says she wants to be alone. Through life, she has had very few friends, and almost all of them have left her or were only using her. Because of this, she learned to not trust anyone. She began spreading rumors about herself (for example, a rumor that she was the cause of death of a young child years ago). She did that to keep everyone away from her, and it worked. No one wanted to go near her. And no one would accept her. I was the first to realize that that wasn't who she really was. She is sweet, innocent and kind. But everyone else thought she was sadistic, violent and aggressive.

Right the spread rumour part isn't great because it shows she's not properly had people to rely on or is naturally used to just being somewhat of a loner. Sometimes it's hard to display what she's really like if she really doesn't want that to be the case. It's down to you and her family to be extremely supportive if she's a very closed off person, leaving her to individually soak in the feelings can either have a self boosted effect or more likely cause her to feel even worse about it. It seems from an outside perspective that she's suppressing her feelings to the point that  it's getting worse and worse as time goes on. Again, a doctor would be helpful here because they need to be aware of her depression if it's as bad as it seems.

If she's so reclusive then it will be extremely difficult for her true colours to be displayed, which comes onto my next point

I was the first to accept her for who she is after finding out the rumor wasn't true. She said she wanted to be alone, so she told me to tell no one else that the rumor was a lie. I agreed, because it was what she wanted. So I have told no one else to this day. But now its reaching crisis levels.

Secondly, she has suffered from depression since an extremely young age. She has been bullied and used for years. That is why she wanted to be alone in the first place. I was one of the few people she trusted. She has had thoughts of suicide throughout her life, but I made sure I was always there for her. With just one person to trust though, despite my efforts I still worry about her future.

Good stuff, keep it that way. Whilst it seems that she needs more support telling people that she was lying will have a backlash effect and that won't improve the situation at all, mainly because they won't believe that she's this great person but in fact someone weird (that's what kids are like). You're in a position of trust with someone who doesn't trust often so keep it that way, keep supporting her in an any way you can =]

Depression is horrible because it's a very touchy subject. It's difficult to get out of it without anti-depressants; is she on them? Does her doctor know about this kind of thing? It's very crucial considering everything you've said. Bullying always happens in schools, I've said this a few times before that it's something that generally disappears as time goes on and people mature in life. Until then, school is just something you crack on with and try to get out of it with the best grades you can so you can have a secure future. Obviously this is much touchier due to her condition physically and mentally and for her a doctor's recommendation is key.

At school, this illness is making her already-terrible school life even worse. She is being called names, annoyed and even physically hurt because of it. She is also suffering from extreme second degree sunburn, with pain extending to the point where even wearing clothes stings like hellfire. She is covered in blisters, and yesterday she was sent to A&E because she was shoved into the railings, making blisters pop and bruises to cover her body. The doctor recommended she stays off school until medical treatment becomes available, but the family won't let her.

This follows on to my point in the paragraph above and that school is problematic at that age because bullying is, was and always will be prevalent. Again, the burn thing is mentioned in the first part, can't really add to that. I wouldn't take up a defeatist attitude towards bullying, hope my post isn't advising that. It shouldn't be allowed but it does happen, tell teachers and make sure they are completely understanding because they're generally the best help you can get with school. It's something responsible adults involved can help with, as much as you're trying (and trust me, that'll probably be helping a lot. When you're in a dark place having someone to trust and rely on is massive!) there needs to be more and if her family aren't being as helpful as they can be then other people in the right positions need to be notified.



Dunno how helpful this is, if needs be you can go over more points or I can or whatnot. Hope things work out though, it's never good to see someone in a crappy situation like that.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Sounds almost exactly like me except for spreading rumours about myself and having an illness. I actually started to self harm because I was so unhappy. I also have trouble with friends as they always abandon me at some point and act as if I don't exist. Even the ones that "promised" never to stop being my friend....