Topic: first world problems

[Shaymin]

soooooooooooo............ my PIP application got straight up rejected

how it works (for those of you who don't know) is they assign you points based on what you can (or can't) do. apparently, i scored 0. which is """""good""""" cause it means i'm """"fine""""

guess all this pain is just normal then :/ why didn't anyone tell me everyone else struggles to walk, can't sleep cause of pain, has the brain consistency of 3 day old porridge and can't go out without someone there?

stupid dwp i'm going to punch them in the dangles

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

im not quoting them but the hoplessness feelings itt are, well, for want of a better way of putting it they are normal for the nerd brained. not to trivialise them or anything (im fast cycling mood disorder so im not in either state of mind for long so apologies if i seem to be distant/flippant about it. like i just have to wait a couple days and im the inverse of whatever i am now lmao) but its just the odd moment of doubt that all divas get. u'll get there and remember its an ill part of ur brain whispering Wrong Thoughts in ur ear in a moment of weakness cos mental illness is a crafty little git. spoiler: you're better than you think you are but its just gettin ur brain to realise that which is the harder part haha but good luck 2 gettin back on to the wagon to ppl in this topic cos you'll be back there in due time. (edited to make it slightly less lame)   

i say this to a lot of people but if you feel you are a partic kind of "depression plus" or that you get fluctuations from normal to sad to happy to sad wayyyy too often for straight up normal hell depression then consider u might be on the cyclothymic end of things and that this site i always flog may be useful as sadly the mental health services in the uk are rather lacking and will just slap "unipolar depression" on you unless u really kick up a big fat fuss and you may have a moderate/mild sorta bp-III/cyclothymia-end form of bipolar 

soooooooooooo............ my PIP application got straight up rejected

how it works (for those of you who don't know) is they assign you points based on what you can (or can't) do. apparently, i scored 0. which is """""good""""" cause it means i'm """"fine""""

guess all this pain is just normal then :/ why didn't anyone tell me everyone else struggles to walk, can't sleep cause of pain, has the brain consistency of 3 day old porridge and can't go out without someone there?

stupid dwp i'm going to punch them in the dangles

in the land of glorious soverign britane its a unspoken rule of thumb that PIPs are denied by default and the majority of people who get them only got them thru the appeals process, anklyosing sponylitis friend of mine has to appeal every year and me partners downs syndrome sister has to reapply every year in case the downs magically went away somehow, rolls eyes

but yeh there is this appeals process (make them do a mandatory reconsideration before an appeal) and remember there is always PALS to turn to if things get a bit ratty.

honestly i am not an expert but if you haven't already i would also look into getting assessed for ASD and support for such cos that would at least get you slightly more clout on the support end of things (a diagnosis would be a Changed Circumstance and semi-solid grounds for appeal if nothing else)

[SirBlaziken]

Stubbed my toe in the middle of the night and now it's really messed up.

[2OrSomething]

I feel really optimistic about getting this solo, but I'm probably just getting my hopes up for them to come crashing down and make me feel like an idiot for crying over a solo. As always.

[The Shrub Dragon]

solo crying is so chill my friends and i are always crying abt not getting solos honestly it's a good thing to do


i'm just thinking about the fact that there are people whose brains work without ritalin and prozac and beta blockers and i just?? people who have never had to take a benzo?? people who are developmentally normal?? people who don't cry all the time?? what the heck???

[Shaymin]

in the land of glorious soverign britane its a unspoken rule of thumb that PIPs are denied by default and the majority of people who get them only got them thru the appeals process, anklyosing sponylitis friend of mine has to appeal every year and me partners downs syndrome sister has to reapply every year in case the downs magically went away somehow, rolls eyes

but yeh there is this appeals process (make them do a mandatory reconsideration before an appeal) and remember there is always PALS to turn to if things get a bit ratty.

honestly i am not an expert but if you haven't already i would also look into getting assessed for ASD and support for such cos that would at least get you slightly more clout on the support end of things (a diagnosis would be a Changed Circumstance and semi-solid grounds for appeal if nothing else)

i still need to phone them up to have the mandatory "look at me again you fools" garbage and my mum's gone thru the whole denial garbage (and she's worse than i am lmao like??? get ur head in the game dwp). i'm probably gonna just.......... go for esa as well just to get that Crap squared away.

my fibro is being looked at (had bloods taken the other week, arm hurt like heck afterwards lol) but getting an appointment at my local surgery is the Worst™ (it's either get up at 8am which i Hate or see some doctor u've never met before who'll probably be all "well u look fine :/")

like i just wish i was as healthy as the rejection letter thinks i am cause i'd be having the time of my life rn, graduated and All That instead of wasting away at home playing the vidyas and crying over boys who don't exist

edit: this might be cause it's 2am or cause i'm not down w/ all the medical acronyms but whats ASD?? if it's autism (which is what google says) then idk cause you'd think they would've picked that up at school??? the brain garbage pile is a more recent development (the past 2 years it hink??? who knows it's garbage in here) that i think was either triggered or made worse by the codeine. i know theres something up with it (fibro fog is what it could be but i have to get diagnosed w/ fibromyalgia for someone to say "yeah it that" and ugh getting a diagnosis is so much of a pain in the ass)

[The name master]

I have too many ideas for a part of a story, that I don't know which one (or more) to do!

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 Hung out with my mate all day and I told her "I reckon I could carry you up them stairs". So your royal swoleness does it with no issues but she butted me on the nose when she jumped up to initiate the carry and it still hurts today.

 Didn't get anywhere with the glasses either. Might jump over to contacts instead for the aesthetics? I've got a single pair of trial lenses so I'm saving them for the check-up.

 Will most likely get hassled to do karaoke tonight buy the guy who owns the pub but I don't even have a karaoke song. Call Me Maybe?

 
 

 

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

sorry everyone u knew one of my huge epicery 'tism effortposts was coming

i'm just thinking about the fact that there are people whose brains work without ritalin and prozac and beta blockers and i just?? people who have never had to take a benzo?? people who are developmentally normal?? people who don't cry all the time?? what the heck???

yeh but who cares about those people they're always so boring and lame. (in golf player voice) "oooowowoohwoh look at me my name is Neurotypical Johnson time to go to work and get a mortgage and do all of a urinate in the toilet. i invest in property and the stock market and i like plain vanilla sex and people will struggle to find things to talk about at my funeral cos im so dull." 

i still need to phone them up to have the mandatory "look at me again you fools" garbage and my mum's gone thru the whole denial garbage (and she's worse than i am lmao like??? get ur head in the game dwp). i'm probably gonna just.......... go for esa as well just to get that Crap squared away.

i say give it a try, whats the worst that could happen, it works?

my fibro is being looked at (had bloods taken the other week, arm hurt like heck afterwards lol) but getting an appointment at my local surgery is the Worst™ (it's either get up at 8am which i Hate or see some doctor u've never met before who'll probably be all "well u look fine :/")

lmao our doctors surgery is same day embargo too, its the only way to be timely seen in this Modern Age of the nhs sadly. same day embargo (the "get up at 8 to get an appt") is the only alternative to "see u in 4 weeks i guess????" when it comes to organising appointments unfortch.

but yeh anyway regarding the fibro i typed up a whole big effortpost last time you mentioned it here and then got embarassed and deleted it and x'd the tab (i get effortpost Regrets sometimes after and sometimes before) but if you get the chance to get seen or maybe not i would look into a couple things

- gettin ur Magnesium levels tested if they didn't do that already
- getting ur "25(OH)D" or your vitamin d levels tested, idk how your bone density goes in ur family but if it tends to be on the low side DEFFO get it checked out


IANAD etc etc but you might want to look into starting on a Magnesium supplement (with the neccessary "hey doc gonna start taking a mag supplement" appointment if you wish) and maybe scan thru the bits of this (some persons thing about fibro and magnesium) that youre able to read as while the Science Community figures fibro out it seems like getting additional magnesium in is a really good idea.

i take it for a bunch of stuff (tism stuff, joint issues, post-workout) but i would avoid anythign with Magnesium Oxide as it is really poorly absorbed and acts more like a laxative (long boring explanation but the less your guts absorb the more it makes u poop).

get magnesium citrate (absorbs better than oxide) or magnesium glycinate/bisglycinate (even better absorption than citrate) depending on whether you want midway between poop help and relaxin (citrate) or just straight up relaxing (bis/glycinate).   

like i just wish i was as healthy as the rejection letter thinks i am cause i'd be having the time of my life rn, graduated and All That instead of wasting away at home playing the vidyas and crying over boys who don't exist

oh yeh they will do their best to demoralise you and dissuade you from trying again. obvs i have to be Health Confidential given this is patients kinda i guess but even if you can't stand or walk by yourself and need people to carry you and are allergic to things and have a terminal degenerative disorder the Powers That Be will go "errrr narrrrr thats not Complex Needs you can't get any of the equipment you asked for. you see you need 3 or more things in this column that we just made up or w/e" 

Spoiler: beths boring rant about the quiet privatisation of our public bodies • show

unfortch (and i say this carefully given our uh different political leanings) it is basically tory policy to privatise public bodies to their business owning pals can pick up the bits for cheap n make Fat Profits. imagine homes under the hammer but the houses are Public Bodies. and this happened with the dwp and the nhs (i.e. the massive tax credits scandal that barely anyone covered except my queen, victoria derbyshire). once things get subcontracted to things like the dreaded ATOS (the company who iirc do the PIP claims, the same ATOS who can call a literal corpse fit for work) or Capita (or Crapita as its called by Private Eye due to how much it messes up) it all just goes to crap.

the general idea in private firms is "profit no matter what, even if it means worse service and screwing people over, who cares" which means basically making up stuff or craftily making it a complete arse for people to do it so they don't bother and you dont have to pay out. its like anti-piracy measures in games where its meant to catch the few abusers but it just ruins it for the majority of the actual people who need it.   

on top of that lately a lot of claims like yours are being rejected cos of guys currently in charge like this guy who, in typical politican fashion, just said "im sorry you got upset" (big city apology, i.e. not apologising at all) when he got called out for the policy change re: denying PIP to "people who sit at home all day with anxiety" cos apparently they're not the "really disabled"

i had to cut this short cos Word Limit lmao Politics Beth but yeh its a bit of a Mess

edit: this might be cause it's 2am or cause i'm not down w/ all the medical acronyms but whats ASD?? if it's autism (which is what google says) then idk cause you'd think they would've picked that up at school??? the brain garbage pile is a more recent development (the past 2 years it hink??? who knows it's garbage in here) that i think was either triggered or made worse by the codeine. i know theres something up with it (fibro fog is what it could be but i have to get diagnosed w/ fibromyalgia for someone to say "yeah it that" and ugh getting a diagnosis is so much of a pain in the ass)

yah its Autism Spectrum Disorder, soz that i DSM-V it up at times ahahaha. you'd think they'd pick it up at school but as usual unless you go to a school that has its act together (becoming less and less these days now that they're sucking all the money out of schools too) you really have to either Act Out or Be Lucky and thats if you dont get suspended/expelled for bad behaviour or get one arsehole psych/doc who keeps vetoing an assessment for dumb reasons. or when the "casual individual autism test thing" rolls around they will do it in the class cos they dont want fail rates and you will be like me, overhear the other kids having it from the other end of the room and know the 'correct' neurotypical answers to give lmao

Spoiler: small diatribe about why its a bit hit n miss • show

its hellishly hit and miss it seems (much like gender services seem to be across the uk, sigh, like most things that arent erectile dysfunction and fat men treatments)

im still learning myself so pinch of salt ofc, but staunch and old fashioned psychs and the ~~~~""""""official"""""~~~~ guidelines will have you believe that if they dont pick up on it by age 3 then you're neurotypical as all hell and if you present as autistic later on then you're just "acting up". a bunch of Assessment stuff is around "childhood milestones" (certain developmental things as ur growing up) but kinda misses the plot on the more subtle adolescent ones.

additionally mimicry is an autism skill that some pick up as a coping skill and you mimic enough social skills to kinda "pass" as a neurotypical for so long and can maybe hold your own in like, a quick casual conversation in a shop, but anything other than that socially at work or in a social life is a nightmare. so you end up with this weird Hidden Autism which dont get picked up on as quick.     

in the USA all kids are tested for autism by default whereas in the uk its up to the parents themselves to "raise the alarm" so to speak. theres no real automatic test. so if your parents dont even know what ASD is or maybe if they want to pretend it doesn't exist and they want a "Normal" kid instead (dont look into the Defeat Autism Now! protocol or ABA or anything like that for the love of god) ..........you can see what im gettin at here. its rly easy for this to slip under the radar.

anyway rant aside and i dont know how any of whoever helps u most w/ this stuff would see it (prolly ur mum?) maybe ask ppl u know well about it etc etc and Have A Think and then go maybe see ur GPs about it if you decide maybe you might be on the spectrum somewhere and about accessing possible Assessment. i mean you may know in yourself whether you are possibly Spectrum or not and whether you want to persue it a little bit?

i am just a lowly idiot on a forum but from what ive seen and with the other common stuff that comes with it (all that stuff we blabbed on about in previous effortposts) i would suspect it a little at least. i mean literally no-one into pokemon isn't on the spectrum somehow (inentional double negative) anyway so

i tried the Get An Assessment thing myself but they will only assess you for support as an adult which i didn't need at the time (had a job and was in uni and by all means was doing ok except now not so much)  so i may have trip reports myself in time to come lmao

[SirBlaziken]

Mom's ex boyfriend went spastic last night and almost attacked his mom. Police were called and he was put on a mandatory 72 hour hold for psychological evaluation. Fast forward not even 24 hours later, he signed himself out and his mom picked him up. Both his mom and sister said that they were done but his mom changed her mind really quick. My mom broke up with him because he flipped out after my mom told him he gets 1 more chance due to his history. So now we have to keep the doors locked for a while. Great.

[SaRo|Rapidash]

Went out tonight with a group including the guy I like and he apologised for being inappropriate last time we met but said it in like a really weird way? Like, without any preamble really, he's like "I know some people think when you're drunk you do what you really feel and you can think that if you want but ignore that night." and like I didn't think that but now I'm like ??? that's such an odd way of saying it and like he was bein a bit of a douche to everyone else but then like he'd be nice to me and I'm like it's all v confusing why can't relationships be like primary school were you just hold hands with someone and that's a scandalous relationship lmao

[SirBlaziken]

My dad's coming to visit May 21-28. We don't get out of school until the 26th (though my brother gets out before that because he's a senior). I have work and don't want really anything to do with him besides for the information I need to go to college. He doesn't seem to get the fact that we want nothing to do with him or his new wife (who was the one he cheated on my mom with. fun fact, she cheated on her spouse too).

Today he said he'd help buy yearbooks then turns around and says he can't because he's moving to michigan to waste the years he said he'd set aside for us on the gi bill finish a business degree that he'll probably never use (which is a valid reason ig), and because he hasn't gotten his tax refund back (another part of the rant after this little section). We know that the second reason is a load of bull because my brother has the documentation which was given to him so he could apply for scholarships for college. Speaking of college, he cited a main reason of getting a masters in business is because it's basically the standard in South Korea, which is funny since he's moving back to the states. Plus according to him, he won't get paid anymore money, which I call bull on too.

Now as for the tax return, here's something really stupid: My mom takes care of us, feeds us, all the responsibility of a parent, but we aren't her dependents. Our dad just sends the money (begrudgingly and sometimes late) and he gets to claim all three of us and get thousands of dollars back. Basically everyone we've talked to about this, including tax experts, think that this is completely unfair. So we're going to get it overturned, plus possibly get more money because now they'll take my (for lack of a better term) stepmother's income into account because she works for the government. I mean giving us the money I guess counts but frankly even then he can't control that because it's automatically taken out of his paycheck from the military. Even then it pales in comparison of what my mom has to do.

And finally, he keeps trying to throw himself (and his new wife which basically all of us would like to knife first chance we get) into my brother's plans for his graduation party, or take him elsewhere, which my brother wants no part of. No matter how many times we tell him, he won't listen. Lemme just say if his wife shows up with him, they won't make it past the driveway before a mob of my mom's friends (who have been more family to us than our own blood, more on that in another rant) likely lynch him. If that happens, at least we get a half million from his life insurance :')

And he still won't admit that he cheated even though he obviously did.

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 Turns out that we were meant to be turning up to these lectures because they were actually on and I got everything muddled.

 I have 3 days to do a portfolio.

 On the upside, I thoroughly enjoy SPSS and find the work to be incredibly relaxing so three days isn't bad at all.

[2OrSomething]

Eugh writing test.

Also it turns out that I don't just have a crush on Mettaton, no, I'm completely obsessed. Help.

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 Not sure what's wrong at the moment but from the moment I leave the house to the moment I get home, I'm feeling sick and having to actually do breathing exercises to make sure that I don't throw up.

 There's something wrong but I don't know what that is.