Topic: 101 things not to ask a retail assisstant...

[SirBlaziken]

Ironic coming for a guy with the one of the highest post counts, but I digress

Honestly, some people need glasses, because lunch at my school was $1.90, and this is what happened one day, I walked up and she rang me up and said that my total was $19.00. Then we argued for about 5 minutes over what it said, and I was right. So basically, I wasted part of my already short lunch, for nothing.

[Kpyna]

I'm a cashier at panera so I deal with tons of crap. If you haven't been to Panera, sorry, you may be a bit lost.

So at Panera we have a choice of 3 free sides you can have with your meal. And, you are supposed to ask, "Would you like chips, apple, or a baguette?", or, "Bread, chips, or an apple for your  side?" any variation really.

Common customer responses to this question
"Yes"
"No"
"Chipapple"
"Bread Chips sound good"
"If I don't get a side can you add ____ to my meal for free" / "If I don't get a side will my meal be cheaper"
"What's a baguette"

And then when you ring up the total i'd say about 1 in 10 customers get all stuffy about how much it costs AND ITS TO HARD TO ACT POLITE. Like, if you didn't wanna pay 49.50 for your family of 4 to eat, you shouldn't have gotten that much food, or, McDonald's is right down the street.

Entire sports teams coming in 5 minutes before close and ordering massive amounts of food... for here... so we don't get out on time.

Once a family was leaving our store 15 minutes after close and some guy walks in through the door that they opened and then starts looking at the menu. I approach him,

"Hi sir, unfortunately we closed at 9 today so I can't serve you"
He gets a smug look on his face. "If you guys closed, then how did I get in?"
"I would assume that a family on their way out held the door for you"
"Well, I'm here, you should be serving me."
"Sir, we don't have any food out anymore, and I don't have a cash drawer."
Guy glares at me and starts to walk out, "You guys are just a bad business."

Yeeeeep, just because we close at night like pretty much every establishment ever, we're a bad business.


And I'll just copy and paste an excellent story from yesterday that I posted on my facebook group for work:

Short version: Logan is a dad and his kid pooped on the floor.
So today at panera 2 women, couldn't be older than 30, ordered like 10 cups of soup for here for their kids. I thought that was going to be the last weird thing about them, until later on two of their kids ran in.
They came up to the area between line and register and started yelling something that sounded like "Logan!", so we went to the BOH and grabbed Logan thinking they're his cousins or something. The kids proceeded to talk to Logan even though Logan clearly had no idea who these kids were. At one point the kid called Logan "Dad" and Logan got out of there ASAP
So eventually we decipher the kids want yogurt, and they were yelling "Yogur!" this whole time, but they have no money so we have to tell them they can't have yogurt. Eventually one of their siblings, no older than 8 comes in with a 20 and buys one yogurt. The other kid that's didn't get yogurt proceeds to flip her s**t and has to be carried out by said 8 year old. Also, the 8 year old talked like she was ghetto fabulous or something.
Another 8 year old or so comes in and says, "Excuse me, miss, if you could, please make sure that none of the little kids buy anything" and then leaves.
And then another kid runs up and proceeds to tell us that one of the little kids pooped on the floor, and then we saw a teenager walk into the bathroom with a bunch of paper towels before dining room had to pick it up.
The kids then proceeded to run around like little barbarians, taking random stuff from the counters and running out.

[Lord Raven]

Entire sports teams coming in 5 minutes before close and ordering massive amounts of food... for here... so we don't get out on time.

Panera doesn't close their kitchen early?

In our situation it's a buffet so we often times actually close our kitchen around 15-20 minutes early so I guess it's not entirely the same, but I know somewhere like Qdoba locks their doors like 10-15 minutes before close to prevent stuff like.  Obviously, you could just come 10-15 minutes before close to cheat the system, but not everyone does.

[sylar]

ok i dont personally know how it is to work in retail and tbh im not in shops often haha
when i do go in though im usually the idiot who asks awkward questions then gets flustered and messes up a lot so the employees constantly get really tired of me really quickly, which is why i dont go into them often lmao. these people have enough idiots in their days without me messing up all over the place trying to ask "wheres the mens clothing section" or "which aisles the bread in?" while standing right next to the shelf the breads on and apologising like 20 times when i realise this

so if you ever get someone as awkward and skittish as me then i apologise lmao

ANYWAY
my sisters worked in retail a few times and one time she served the guy who played jack in still game when she worked in a snacky
he was a douchebag btw he just sighed and drew her looks and snatched the burger she made him and threw the money at her w/o waiting for his change
people like that piss me off

and since i dont have any personal stories i should complain about my dad, because hes a retail workers worst nightmare and to anyone in glasgow i apologise if you ever serve him
hes basically an example of how not to talk to retail workers, and usually i feel the need to tip extra to waiters that hes inflicted upon + apologise to them profusely.
he just gives them such attitude as if theyre lesser than him. one time he ordered a nandos and they forgot the sauce on his burger, so he snapped at the waitress and told her to do her job right while i gave her apologetic looks and tried to get him to calm down because the girl looked pretty scared. my dad isnt violent, but hes big and has a big voice and he just looks like he could break your neck with his pinky, hes terrifying.
he also gives attitude to cinema cashiers. people who dont set prices for movie showings, he snaps at them for prices of movie showings. he tells them its ridiculous very loudly and goes in a huff, again i end up apologising to them as if its my fault hes an asshole
in china buffet king he usually gives the waiters serious attitude too, getting pissy if they dont take away a plate thats "obviously" ready to be taken away and telling them to do their job right. theyre doing their job right! they just made a mistake.

nngngng basically yeah my dad is a cheap moody asshole who yells at employees in stores and people working in restaurants like its their fault something goes wrong, even when its a tiny mistake. hes retail workers worst nightmare ugh. im sorry to people who work in retail who have to deal with people like him like i love my dad and all but my god, hes so unnecessarily rude.

[Clairefable]

Oh god people complaining about prices uuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh YES I agree that things where I work can be expensive but there's a simple solution: DON'T BUY THEM!!!! Nobody forces people through the door at gunpoint and MAKES them buy stuff they can apparently get for 1p cheaper in Tesco

Though one day I had a really nippy guy who moaned about the prices of EVERYTHING he was buying and made out like I was the Worst Person In The World for not being terribly ashamed of myself for being part of such greed. Across from me talking to my store manager was the guy who owns the ENTIRE COMPANY I work for so I said to the guy that there was no point in complaining to me but if he wanted to tell the CEO he was welcome to as he was standing right across from us. Funnily enough, he just shut up and left.

I just have zero patience with rude customers and have no qualms about being really really cheeky to them. I just make sure I LOOK cheerful and apologetic should anyone be watching on CCTV :V

[Kpyna]

Panera doesn't close their kitchen early?

In our situation it's a buffet so we often times actually close our kitchen around 15-20 minutes early so I guess it's not entirely the same, but I know somewhere like Qdoba locks their doors like 10-15 minutes before close to prevent stuff like.  Obviously, you could just come 10-15 minutes before close to cheat the system, but not everyone does.

Nah, that would be too nice on the workers and make too much sense. To be fair on most nights closing all at the same time works, since a lot of people are well-adjusted human beings and know 5 minutes before close is too late to eat, but occasionally you do get people who don't care that you're closing in 5 minutes.

[Lord Raven]

hey man when youre hungry you gotta eat, h8rs gonna h8 SORRY LIZ

Oh god people complaining about prices uuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

My parents run a 9.95/person buffet (half for children 3-8 and free for children 2 and under).  Constantly get complaints that the prices are too high and that their 9-year-old is close enough to 8 that they should get half-off.  Have these people ever been to a buffet before?  Did we trick them into thinking that you don't get half-off for ages greater than 8?  smh

9.95 per person is cheap for a buffet; many restaurants give you a full meal for at least 10-15 dollars, we do 9.95 per person at dinner for all you can eat + dessert and an extra 1.25 for infinite refills on soda.

[SirBlaziken]

I have also heard many people complaining about price of food while in line, one guy got so angry he pushed the clerk, and stormed through the door in a bad mood, mind you this was your average local Wendy's, the prices are reasonable, but this guy was not happy.

But 10 to 15 dollars for a meal when you can get as much food as you want for $10? Sounds lovely to me, not getting ripped-off.

[Milsap]

9.95 per person is cheap for a buffet; many restaurants give you a full meal for at least 10-15 dollars, we do 9.95 per person at dinner for all you can eat + dessert and an extra 1.25 for infinite refills on soda.

$9.95 is what? just under 6 quid? That's CHEAP. Most buffets in the UK you pay around 6.99 per head. How are people complaining for that? I don't wanna live on this planet anymore...

^ I guess as well that rennet is sometimes used to make cheese, and that's not veggie. Still though.

Well, it's that same kind of 'American style' cheese slices you can buy cheap in the supermarket. Which looks like cheese, tastes like cheese, but it definitely ISN'T cheese. I dread to think what that stuff's made from.

Thankfully the little work I've done interacting with The Public has been incredibly idiot-lacking, I've generally managed to hide away in office work. I did once overhear a beautiful but awful conversation in Currys (computer shop) once in which a woman asked the shop assisstant if she could "download more megapixels for her cameraphone".. the scary part was that he said yes. Not sure if the guy working in the electronics shop didn't understand the concept of megapixels, or if he was just preying on the customer's lack of knowledge, and I'm not sure quite which is worse.

Thing is Kay, the people who work in Currys PC World have absolutely NO CLUE about what they're selling. They wouldn't know the difference between a laptop and a fridge. They'd try and sell you a Henry Hoover telling you it will speed up your broadband connection.

[Sebastian Moran]

i still dont know what peppered cheese is :( 
 

[Inferna]

I remember my great grampa telling me that while in a shop he overheard a woman asking for 'something to hang a man with'. She had meant a photo frame. What makes it worse is that it was either in gaelic or broken english and gaelic.
Most annoying place is mcdonald's. I went in and clearly asked for a grilled chicken salad and got given a chicken burger. I'm sorry but how does salad even sound like burger lol
It was awkward while in holland last month, i was in a chemist and the lady serving me started to have a conversation with me in dutch while i just stared at her blankly.

[Richard and Blaziken]

I once had a customer ask me if we sold "Unfrozen Kool-Aid on a stick". If anyone can tell me how this is even remotely possible, I would very much like to know. My current theory is that they wanted a stick with it's own gravitational pull. Also, when is Kool-Aid ever frozen?

[SirBlaziken]

I knew what they meant, and no, juice on a sick is not possible, unless frozen.

[Sebastian Moran]

im guessing that it was a rhetorical question. although that said, the correct answer is actually that they were expecting you to balance a jug of the stuff on a stick, standing in front of them wobbling dangerously while they looked you over, nodded and said "yes, that is acceptable". 

my mother's main complaint working in a supermarket seems to be that there're a couple of regular customers who smell really bad. 
 

[Kpyna]

Most annoying place is mcdonald's. I went in and clearly asked for a grilled chicken salad and got given a chicken burger. I'm sorry but how does salad even sound like burger lol

to be fair the machine could be miscalculation or the option for grilled chicken salad could be near mcchicken, so its easy to misplace. regardless she still should have read back your order to make sure it was right.

speaking of reading back an order, GOOD GOD PAY ATTENTION WHEN I READ BACK YOUR ORDER. and don't try say all witty that you weren't listening. because i don't want me mishearing or accidentally pressing the wrong button coming back to yell at me later, when i went the extra mile to make sure that your order went totally smoothly. thanks.