Topic: Flash,Draik

[Lascif]

Character name:
Forename:Draik
Surname: Flash

Age and Gender: 11,male

Description: Long blondish brownish hair that goes down to his neck and is the average size for a 11 year old, Wears a black baggy shirt with blue shining dragon on it and baggy long light blue jeans with rips in it, his build is medium size.

History: Draik was 7 years old and lives in wasteland where there is only grass. When he got his first pokemon which was a mareep, which he got for his birthday and he adored it and he was hoping since he was 7 to go on a pokemon journey but his parents said that he was to young so he trained his mareep.
He was told that when he was old enough he can set off on a pokemon journey.He trained his mareep with hard work every day then after a while when it was his 11th birthday mareep evolved and was now a flaaffy.As his mareep evolved into a flaaffy his parents told him that he could set off to catch his first pokemon.Then he set off then out in the distance he saw a swablu so he fought against the swablu.Later it was near the end of the battle swablu could not take any more of flaaffys screech so he threw a pokeball and the pokeball was moving slowly he was hoping it was weak enough then it suddenly turned bright red and cooled down and was now normal colour putting his hands away from his eyes he saw that he caught swablu. His parents were so happy that they told him that he could go on a journey and then his journey awaited for him...


Friends and enemies: None yet.


Pokémon:Flaaffy
Stats:
Male or female: male
Name:Fluffer
Moves:Thunderbolt, Growl,Headbutt
Pokemon history: Draik got this pokemon when it was a mareep and he just absolutely adored it
Other: Is a very fun pokemon and always likes to go to his trainer so he feels safer.

Pokémon:Swablu
Stats:
Male or female: male
Name:Fluffy
Moves: Fly, Cotton spore,
Other: Is a very kind and nice pokemon and will always be nice to everybody he sees.

Previous owned pokemon:
None

Other:
Wears blue goggles a lot of times even in the summer and winter,
 and gets around places by skating.

Items:

Key items:

Balls:

Trainer card:
Money: 0
Badges:
Pokemon seen: 2
Pokemon caught: 2

[Joeno]

Your spelling and grammar is awful. Please use a spell checker.

[Lascif]

I have changed it so theres no spelling/grammar mistakes now.

[Lascif]

Ive spelled checked it and changed the grammar and added a bit more description.

Character name:
Forename:Draik
Surname: flash

Age and Gender: 11,male

Description: Long blondish brownish hair that goes down to his neck and is the average size for a 11 year old, Wears a black baggy shirt with blue shining dragon on it and baggy long light blue jeans with rips in it, his build is medium size.

History: Draik was 7 years old and lives in wasteland were there is only grass. When he got his first pokemon which was a mareep, which he got for his birthday and he adored it and he was hoping since he was 7 to go on a pokemon journey but his parents said that he was to young. So he trained his mareep.
Because when he is old enough he can set off on a pokemon journey.
So he trained it with hard work every day then after a while when he was 11 on his birthday mareep evolved and was now a flaffy.

As his mareep evolved into a flaffy his parents were told that he could set off to catch his first pokemon.
Then he set off then out in the distance he saw a swablu so he fought against the swablu.
Later it was near the end of the battle swablu could not take any more of flaffys screech so he through a pokeball and the pokeball was moving slowly he was hoping it was weak enough then it suddenly turned red and back to normal colour putting his hands away from his eyes he saw that he caught swablu.
His parents were so happy that they told him that he could go on a journey and then his journey awaited for him...


Friends and enemies: None yet.


Pokémon:Flaffy
Stats:
Male or female: male
Name:Fluffer
Moves:Thunderbolt, Growl,Headbutt
Pokemon history: Draik got this pokemon when it was a mareep and he just absolutely adored it
Other: Is a very fun pokemon and always likes to go to his trainer so he feels safer.

Pokémon:Swablu
Stats:
Male or female: male
Name:fluffy
Moves: Fly, Cotton spore,
Other: Is a very kind and nice pokemon and will always be happy to everybody he sees.

Previous owned pokemon:
None

Other:
Wears blue goggles a lot of times even in the summer and winter,
and gets around places by skating.

Items:

Key items:

Balls:

Trainer card:
Money: 0
Badges:
Pokemon seen: 2
Pokemon caught: 2

[Joeno]

The amount of description is good. However, there's some thing you'll want to look at. For example:

* The Pokemon is called 'Flaaffy'. Use a tool like our Pkmndex to check those.
* 'were' is the past tense of 'are', 'where' is what you'd want to use.
* 'and..and..and': You may want to split a few of those sentences.
* 'Because' links two sentences together. You'd want a comma instead of a period there. The same goes with 'so'.
* You go through something and you threw a rock.
* There are two cars. You want to drive them. Bob was there, too.
* His parents were told that he could set off...? While they were the ones to stop him. Don't you mean that his parents tol dhim he could go?
* You seem to have inserted random new lines ('enter's) without any real reason. There's no need for them and make it more difficult to read your texts.

[Lascif]

I looked at the mistakes carefully and changed this so its corrected

Character name:
Forename:Draik
Surname: Flash

Age and Gender: 11,male

Description: Long blondish brownish hair that goes down to his neck and is the average size for a 11 year old, Wears a black baggy shirt with blue shining dragon on it and baggy long light blue jeans with rips in it, his build is medium size.

History: Draik was 7 years old and lives in wasteland where there is only grass. When he got his first pokemon which was a mareep, which he got for his birthday and he adored it and he was hoping since he was 7 to go on a pokemon journey but his parents said that he was to young so he trained his mareep.
He was told that when he was old enough he can set off on a pokemon journey.He trained his mareep with hard work every day then after a while when it was his 11th birthday mareep evolved and was now a flaaffy.As his mareep evolved into a flaaffy his parents told him that he could set off to catch his first pokemon.Then he set off then out in the distance he saw a swablu so he fought against the swablu.Later it was near the end of the battle swablu could not take any more of flaaffys screech so he threw a pokeball and the pokeball was moving slowly he was hoping it was weak enough then it suddenly turned bright red and cooled down and was now normal colour putting his hands away from his eyes he saw that he caught swablu. His parents were so happy that they told him that he could go on a journey and then his journey awaited for him...


Friends and enemies: None yet.


Pokémon:Flaaffy
Stats:
Male or female: male
Name:Fluffer
Moves:Thunderbolt, Growl,Headbutt
Pokemon history: Draik got this pokemon when it was a mareep and he just absolutely adored it
Other: Is a very fun pokemon and always likes to go to his trainer so he feels safer.

Pokémon:Swablu
Stats:
Male or female: male
Name:Fluffy
Moves: Fly, Cotton spore,
Other: Is a very kind and nice pokemon and will always be nice to everybody he sees.

Previous owned pokemon:
None

Other:
Wears blue goggles a lot of times even in the summer and winter,
and gets around places by skating.

Items:

Key items:

Balls:

Trainer card:
Money: 0
Badges:
Pokemon seen: 2
Pokemon caught: 2