Topic: what's saddening you right now?

[Webby]

A glorious night out with friends ended with someone telling me I'm too fat to be in McDonalds and that this person would physically eject me from said store if I didn't leave. I didn't realise it was ok to make comments about other people and make them feel like utter crap. Even more so than they already do. I'm just grateful that my some of my friends were willing to back me up - others were content just sitting back and just letting it happen. I'm fed up of being judged by people. I hate myself enough already, I don't need any extra people adding to the hate.

The worst part is that I had convinced myself this afternoon that my life was good, that I feel ok about myself - it only takes 1 person to set me back to square 1. Fed up of being judged so unfairly and harshly for no reason at all.

[Sebastian Moran]

arse. 
have a meeting with the head of year, probably because of all of the lectures and tutorials ive missed at various points. 
whether through my sleeping patterns being sodded up or actively being too scared to go. 
whats all that about anyway, im supposed to be an adult. 
i dont know what im doing with myself, i already am paying for an extra year to retake this one. 
and now im doing even worse than i did last year so far. 
i cant tell if im hideously lazy and useless (yes) or if i made a mistake in declaring myself mentally fit to return. 
buuut seeing as the doctor confirmed that i could go back it most likely is the former haha. 
well ill have this meeting with the year department head person and see if i can actually explain myself. 
as a bonus when the department called me to tell me this, i was in labs and had a demonstrator standing right over me telling me to hang up while the woman from the office was getting more and more annoyed haha wow yeah im useless. 
 
its all fun and games until mark has to pretend to be a functioning member of society wheeey. 
i dont even care that im saying this, i think thats the clue that i have stopped bothering. 
wow i sound.. spoilt? 
is that right, i dont know. 
ill be the one paying back all of this wasted loan if theres anywhere thatll hire me so hey. 
i only went to uni because my parents wanted me to, neither of them had gone and my sister wasnt going either. 
i dont know what id have done instead, there was a time where i planned to do an apprenticeship in a tattoo studio somewhere but lets face it that wouldnt have worked out either. 
im not saddened i suppose. 
just lethargic. 
its like my lifes happening to somebody else and im more absently watching it to see what will happen next, theres no emotional attachment any more. 
 

[Shaymin]

got a party tomorrow
birthday in just over a week

i have no money though :l

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 Just been to this party.

 So many people hooked up at this party.

 Me still being single finding it depressing.

 Realising I had a chance with a girl I've liked for ages.

 Not sure if I missed that chance.

 Thinking about the things I should have and could have done.

 Things that would have made it better.

 Forever alone.

 Freaking depressing.

 How come, whenever girls show any freaking intrest in me, I realise when I leave or get home?

[RocketMember002]

Buying my own tea bags makes me painfully aware of how much I get through. 245 cups of tea since I started uni like 6 weeks ago. XD

[Turner]

likely the fact i'm quite certain i've been signed up to this forum since i was eleven or twelve, and now i'm almost nineteen lol

i really haven't been here in ages nor talked to anyone i've met here in a long while, but as soon as i signed back on i can safely say i felt some serious nostalgia ): like this place is all the source of my pre-pubescent memories

i'm quite certain almost no one remembers me either and that's just killer. oh how time changes things

lol kendall brush ur teeth

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 All these little things just nagging in the back of my head.

 Made loads of progress since comp, genuinly improved on myself all around, lost weight, lost stupid haircut and most of all, I fixed my personality, I'm a lot nicer to people now, well I was like. Then the college goes and puts someone genuinly annoying in my class, someone who has to be annoying everyone on purpose at this point. It's just undoing all my mental progress, I'm getting a lot nastier and a lot more un hinged, Jesus, then I think to how I was back in comp and I remember all the pratty things I did, I don't feel bad about most of them anymore but theres some that genuinly gripe me.

 It would be great to talk to someone about everything without having to worry about them telling everyone but if I go to someone official I would reckon I would get comfortable say some horrible and twisted things and maybe get in trouble, which I don't want since it's only a rough patch in my progress.

 Oh God, then it's the gym, gutted that I've taken two days off, feels like this weeks progress is completely wasted, so now I've figured that instead of doing different workouts, I might just try and do a 2 1/2 hour workout every time for a week or two and just try and aim to slim down before trying to bulk up or anything and that in itself is annoying, by the time I've gotten into shape I'll have about two or three months left in college which just means that I'll have to try and get another two years.

 Oh then I keep thinking about this girl, I've been a massive ass to her and she keeps giving me chances and I genuinly feel bad about things and I've said sorry before and I want to say it again even though I know it will not solve anything, then it's the fact that my friend is keeping her wrapped around his little finger incase he gets desperate enough to use her for sex and she doesn't even see what he's doing, he doesn't even like her like that and it just gets me annoyed.

 Then it's the fact that I don't even seem to get angry anymore, I don't mean anything I say when I'm angry and it just feels like I've lost my flame, I'm not sure if it's because of the gym or anything but it's genuinly bothering me, I just rage because it feels like I should be. I can honestly say I enjoy a good rage every now and again but it just seems all forced.

 Then it's the fact that I don't have a gym partner, two friends say they'll join me but I doubt neither of them will one's busy working at Tesco and the other, well God knows what she's up to, then it's the fact that it will genuinly be good motivation to have a partner.

 To be honest, yolo, I'm going to say sorry to that girl and I'm going to go to the gym on Monday and go for it, I'm going to wait untill I get a gym partner and I'm going to try harder to stop any personal progress being ruined.

[OVOxo]

^ I wish I had your optimism; hope it goes well for you buddy =]

For the topic in question: me being me #nosurprise

[sylar]

my hamsters sick and probably doesnt have much time left

i feel miserable and lonely and all i want to do is drink and hurt myself


w0w :')

[sans the skeleton]

my hamsters sick and probably doesnt have much time left

i feel miserable and lonely and all i want to do is drink and hurt myself


w0w :')

Oh no ;-;. I hope everything is okay. It's always a terrible thing to lose a beloved pet. *Hug.* But keep hope and spend what time she has left with her if you can.

[sylar]

Oh no ;-;. I hope everything is okay. It's always a terrible thing to lose a beloved pet. *Hug.* But keep hope and spend what time she has left with her if you can.

haha no point man thanks but
he just went like 10 minutes ago
just slipped away really peacefully

welp

[Inferna]

haha no point man thanks but
he just went like 10 minutes ago
just slipped away really peacefully

welp

*hugs* <3 ugh losing a pet is horrible, at least he went peacefully :c

My best friend has zero confidence in himself.
He dances and he always stands behind people instead of at the front row, this is so he doesn't have to watch himself doing it [giant mirror]. He told me yesterday he felt physically sick standing in the front row. I don't know if it was because he's nervous or he just can't stand himself.
He's constantly stressed and stops himself from buying little things, even something like a bar of chocolate. He doesn't like relaxing or just having some time to himself because he feels guilty for doing it.
He's horribly anxious about everything and is worried people are judging him so he just sits in silence during his college classes because he doesn't want to make a fool of himself.
His mum was going to make him go to the doctors for depression/anxiety but he doesn't want to. He thinks he'll just get doped up on anti depressants or offered therapy. Even if he had a professional person to talk to it'd help him so much, just to pour his worries onto.
ugh i'm just so worried about him :|

[sans the skeleton]

haha no point man thanks but
he just went like 10 minutes ago
just slipped away really peacefully

welp

Ah no D: At least he went peacefully (and hopefully painlessly too) and he doesn't have to suffer from what was ailing him so. I hope he rests in peace, he sounded like a lovely pet.

[Shaymin]

discussed something with someone on the weekend about my guinea pig
apparently his started drinking lots of water before she popped it
...that's what Biscuit's doing...
hm.

[K.I.O.S]

Think the last time I posted on this topic was around the same time last year and for the same reason, 6 years ago today my mother passed away so feeling very...meh in all honesty.