Topic: what's saddening you right now?

[sans the skeleton]

edited out

eh um it's too hard to edit properly on an iPod

Everything

[Spriter]

I feel like absolute crap. Whenever I want to talk to her, all I see is her and that boyfriend of hers...and I can't stand it any longer. I cannot bear feeling the way I feel ALL THE TIME, and my future looks incredibly bleak. I have no motivation and no one wants to help me out with this mess in real life.

[Kerou 犠牲]

I'm listening to certain songs on repeat, thinking about the things that could have been, the goals I could have achieved and where I'll be in a couple of years

Man the future's looking crap. Got nothing in the house to help right now urgh

I wish I had the tools to make an album. Would be pretty great right now lol

[Inferna]

Wondering if I've made the right decisions. Like what if I get into uni this year and I end up hating it but because I'm too stubborn to quit I stay for the duration and that's 4 years wasted and I'll try do something unrelated and people will just be like ??
Least I can do a pgde after uni I guess and be a totally rad   primary teacher
Think my one of my teachers is making me feel like this. She absoultley adores all the guys work in my class and she pretty much never seems to like my stuff I'm sorry because I have a life?? I do put effort into stuff but she's always like 'I like it but......'
On Thursday me and my friend were the only people to put our stuff onto boards like asked (ok I admit mine's was a little half added presentation wise). One of the guys talked about his stuff for about 10 minutes them she got onto me and I was like 'here are my things' I hate talking about myself or putting myself up I'm too modest and you ask me after the biggest ego maniac in the class to talk about my stuff??? I like my stuff, it's more creative than his and that's what she was wanting but oh because he can talk about his boring stuff for 10 minutes it's so much better!!
Makes me wonder why I try tbh theres always some person better than you sigh. Yes I realise that got angry near the end but idc

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

Wondering if I've made the right decisions. Like what if I get into uni this year and I end up hating it but because I'm too stubborn to quit I stay for the duration and that's 4 years wasted and I'll try do something unrelated and people will just be like ??
Least I can do a pgde after uni I guess and be a totally rad   primary teacher
Think my one of my teachers is making me feel like this. She absoultley adores all the guys work in my class and she pretty much never seems to like my stuff I'm sorry because I have a life?? I do put effort into stuff but she's always like 'I like it but......'
On Thursday me and my friend were the only people to put our stuff onto boards like asked (ok I admit mine's was a little half added presentation wise). One of the guys talked about his stuff for about 10 minutes them she got onto me and I was like 'here are my things' I hate talking about myself or putting myself up I'm too modest and you ask me after the biggest ego maniac in the class to talk about my stuff??? I like my stuff, it's more creative than his and that's what she was wanting but oh because he can talk about his boring stuff for 10 minutes it's so much better!!
Makes me wonder why I try tbh theres always some person better than you sigh. Yes I realise that got angry near the end but idc

worrying about it is a sign you're taking the idea seriously tbh
i know that sounds nauseatingly cryptic and vague but if you accept the idea of art college too easily then its usually a bad sign

you're doing a foundation thingy am i right????

[Clairefable]

welp my boyfriend and I broke up last night and so I went out and got monumentally drunk and now I'm just a hungover teary mess merry christmas folks 

[sans the skeleton]

i cant stop thinking about my girlfriend who just suddenly up and disappeared i cANT MOVE ON K

[Clairefable]

hahaha I just wrapped him the present I got him for Christmas because I don't know what else to do with it hahaha oh man

[SirBlaziken]

^ I have a few ideas.....

[Spriter]

(I'm not sparing this thread any of my rants. End of.)

I feel bad. I feel like that by telling N (let's just say, that's a simple codename ) that I love her has screwed this up. But I think about how proud I felt after I did that, and it helps a little.

But I feel like I've screwed things up. If anyone ever, ever finds out I said that to her knowing full well about that relationship of hers...there'll be a storm brewing. Literally. At first people might be like 'aww that's awesome of you', but then they'll be all 'man, lay off of her she belongs to someone else'. So I can't tell people, and I therefore cannot let anything slip nor can I get help from friends (I don't even know how they are friends to be honest, I have 6-7 solid friends but the rest are almost nothing). I'm also constantly worried that I've made things awkward even when she says I haven't...it's like I can't trust what she says even though she's really honest and I've said I can trust her. I'm a hypocrite then, basically.

I've liked / loved her for twice the amount of time she's been in that blasted relationship, and for three / four times the total length of time I've had crushes on other people...but it feels worthless.

And even if by some wonderful miracle I ended up with her, all the things I could say and do would get boring quite quick and then it'd be over...so yeah, I think it must be pointless.

[Inferna]

worrying about it is a sign you're taking the idea seriously tbh
i know that sounds nauseatingly cryptic and vague but if you accept the idea of art college too easily then its usually a bad sign

you're doing a foundation thingy am i right????

Wow really? Never thought of it that way aha.

I'm doing a HNC in visual communication. it's pretty much the first year of a degree but I'm not staying at my current college if I can help it lol

[Richard and Blaziken]

I'm really lonely. Also confused about what I should be doing with my life, if there's even anything meaningful I can do at this point. I feel like a failure in every aspect of life, and the one thing I thought I was doing right is gone. I just feel like I'm alive but not really living for anything at this point and every day is just the same as the day before.

[Kerou 犠牲]

^ I know the feeling. It gets tiresome extremely quickly too, the problem for me is that I've lost the motivation to be properly productive with anything and I'm letting these feelings and thoughts swallow me all the time. Would love to have a restart button or something because I've kinda put myself in parts of this position and I'd love to be able to change that. Usually I'd try and forget about it and try and help others around me but I can't even do that because by becoming more reclusive because of it I've kinda managed to burn bridges, heh.

I'm just waiting for each and every day to pass. My main goal in life was to be able to look back at it with a smile on my face and that sure isn't happening. It's a very defeatist attitude I guess but I've felt like it for a  long time and I'm kinda used to it.

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

Wow really? Never thought of it that way aha.

I'm doing a HNC in visual communication. it's pretty much the first year of a degree but I'm not staying at my current college if I can help it lol

yeah the mindset of worry = thinking about it is whats got me through a few things for sure hahah


i spose if you get to the end of this and really really hate art and after lots of nights of staring out the window with a glass of zinfandel in your hand you go "oh i hate art so much" then its best you found out now than at the end of 3-4 years? obvs im just doomsaying here and if you get to the end of the hnd and are like "well the people were idiots but dang if i aint proud of pushing my comfort zone with this portfolio here" then disregard all this but ye


like uni in itself is a huge life rearranger anyway this i can say for sure because if i met me before uni i'd just punch her in the face for being so clueless about literally everything in life ever

[the bread dragon]

farewell candlestick park