Topic: what's saddening you right now?

[Pam-the-Lamb]

It felt like my finger tips were splitting whilst playing guitar, I just hope nothing happens on stage tomorrow, I mean, I'll play on using different fingers, but I really don't want any splitting happening.

[Piccolami.]

having gotten here i realise that i really, really, really don't want to be here
there's only 3 of us in our flat at the moment and i'm already too scared to go to the kitchen to make a hot drink
everyone else is so excited about being at uni and i just want to go home and go back to work at homsense
even chris pine can't cheer me up... that's just how upset i am

[Inferna]

*hugs claire <3*

Idk if what i'm feeling rn is going to become a panic or asthma attack. Both have similar symptoms for me but i'm probably just feeling scared about anther asthma attack :c
happythoughtshappythoughts

[russia213]

I guess I'm just upset with my lack of time at the moment. I'm always at work or doing some sort of homework. In fact, I'm at the university library right now doing homework. I just stopped in between reading s to see what there was to post on. The twelve hour weekdays are starting to get to me a bit.

[MOP]

The elderly lady next door passed away earlier in the year and I only just found out she had worked at Bletchley Park during the war! I wish I could have asked her about it, although she wasn't the sort to talk about things in the past so perhaps she wouldn't have wanted that.

[IceRain]

It seems the introduction topic is gone. How will everyone witness the "return" of IceRain! D: also I'm pretty sure I coded my title wrong :/

edit: Woops! I guess I had it hidden, haha. I am no longer saddened.

[Sebastian Moran]

@MOP: I know it's not the same, but if you go to Bletchley park, I think that the people who show you around are people who worked there during the war. At least, they were when I went. 
 
what could be better than a nice day out to Milton Keynes 
 

[f3raligatr]

Summer has come and passed.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up, when September ends.

Pretty much it. I absolutely adore winter, but it's something about September I've never really liked. Luckily, there's only two weeks left of it, but it's still annoying me. The days slowly get colder and the weather is more unpredictable (read as; Rob went to football with just a shirt on because it was lovely and sunny in Hull and when he got to Leeds it was monsoon season), the nights don't fall quick enough, and the cold snap winter mornings I adore aren't quite here yet.

I'm not wishing my week away, I've got a pretty solid week coming up, so I've only got one more week really haha. October is where things tend to even out, the nights come quicker and the days get colder, that lovely feeling of diving into bed and snuggling up to get warm appears again too, but it's still middle bit.

September. It's not summer, and it's not winter, it's just a miserable month where you realise that you've had and achieved all your summer plans and now it's just waiting until Winter snaps in. It's that month where you want to get away until you know Winter's chill sends that shiver down your spine to remind you you're still alive, but you don't have the money really to do so (you have but you're a tight-fisted lovely person really who doesn't want to spend for the sake of it).

-lesigh-

[Inferna]

I feel so overwhelmed right now. Everything is getting to me. I can't cope anymore.
I'm sick of my ~friends~ never being there for me when i need them but i'm always there for them. I'm sick of the same old day-in-day-out, the same routine and the same crap every day.
I'm sick of feeling like everyone's judging me and critizising me.
I wish i was more hardy but there's a point where i can't stop hiding how i feel, but i hate letting anyone know because i feel like i'm just bothering them and wasting their time.
I just need someone to vent to who won't judge me for being *~sad/whiny~*
i wish i could just curl up into a ball and forget about everything just for a day even.
ugh

[Catstorm]

My niece Nikki is growing up so fast. I know it probably should be something to be happy about, but I guess I feel kind of fatherly towards her, which is weird considering she is 1 year older than me.

I kind of have the same thing with my younger stepsister.

I think my shyness around my peers may change a little. I recently noticed that they exclude and laugh at and talk about my friend. I didn't notice this for what, 4 years, and only now am I enlightened by this fact that people are very, very passive-aggressive, so much under the radar that it took so long for me to comprehend?

Some sort of dreadful anger is welling up in my heart whenever they have the time to talk about him like that. I know he may not say the most nice things, but sheesh, if he's telling a story don't ignore the kid and turn around and go back to talking about whatever.

Why am I becoming the friends of these mistreated people? So many are so polite and kind and yet shunned by their comrades. So many are rudely treated for little things, and yet I find them nice and funny and there for you. Real people who don't need to be downgraded for any reason at all.

And now I feel like a hypocrite, because I really couldn't stand a person who was dreadfully annoying and followed me for 3 years before they gave up and left me alone. And everyone else was kind to this person. I feel like some sort of opposite of society.

Another thing, age. Oh, look at me, I'm x years older than you, I'm only going to talk formally about academic things when I'm around you and I don't really make friends. Not me, no. I make friends with people younger than me. And they don't care that I'm x years older than them, except if I can give them tips about stuff they will be expecting. But that's not really all I talk about.

It seems like my well-built opinions of certain people are soon going to crumble fiercely.

And gee whiz, when you're talking to an adult, don't be sarcastic, even if they're aloof to it. That's just mean, you, you...

WHITE CHOCOLATE SMEAR NARFS!!!1 (man my cussing replacements just get better and better!!)

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

don't drink whiskey and then later listen to placebo

the two apart are great
they just don't mix well

i've had to turn it off cos i'm close to tears for some reason
damn you placebo
music doesn't usually get me
eiffel 65's The World Inside My Bedroom did once
no stop laughing just listen to it it's nothing like the songs you heard eiffel 65 grew up a bit since then just listen to it
but yeah that is the only song that ever got me and now these man i'd better not be developing Feelings for things the one thing that was good about being in a permenant dissociation was that i couldn't embarass myself via sentimentality again


okay lets try kate bush she's usually ni-oh no not All The Love fffffffffff

right giving up on music for tonight

[MOP]

I've been reading about UFO sightings and aliens breaking into homes and such.
No sleep for me tonight. Never grown out of this one. 

[kr9q]

My first boyfriend he broke up with me! 

[IvanWolf♥]

The Titanic, Hetalia style.

No Sweden!!! Sweden tells the person letting women and children into lifeboats that Finland is his wife and to take him and Sealand into one. Finland doesn;t want to go and Sealand is asking why his papa isn;t coming, too D"X
Crying right now!!!

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

this is stupid

can't sleep
too angry about myself
remebering how much of a spineless douche i am constantly and wow lets play the spineless douche mental theatre show great
my drawings suck and are flat formless anime disasters
my writing is about as deep and complex and captivitating as a Take-a-Break magazine's true story column
my attempts at music are dire and sound like one let the most generic nu-metal band near a keyboard and the one song i wrote which i don't hate completely well i've never made anything as good since
my sewing is rubbish and fabric practically slowly inches away from me like a snail to avoid the curse of my fat-handed needlework
my electronics expertise is year 6 Design/Technology skill level all unsanded corners and nails sticking out
my computer knowledge means having to struggle for two days to get one sodding ad hoc wireless connection to work
my attempts at comedy or making anyone laugh are the churlish sort of awkward jokes your 10 year old brother makes that you pretend to laugh at but really you don't have the heart to tell him that they really are not funny in the least
my programming skills are terrible and just a bloated dogs dinner in terrible 10pt colour coded text
social skills paaaaaaahahahahahah

try to close my eyes and go to sleep suddenly get a hot flush
or an anger tic jolts me awake
everyone else is asleep
would usually pester the bf for comforting at least
but its 6:39am for chrissakes i'm not waking him up for my inadequacies

people are interesting when they have several skills and don't suck horribly at them
or the people i know are just generally wonderfully odd and will go far
but when you're just generally adequate and not very good in anything and kind of spineless and limp-wristed like i kind of am people just like you know
its the kind of "smother it to death with a pillow to put it out of its misery" kind of thing

basically in a really bad place mentally right now
will probably exhaust myself out by about 7-8am if i am lucky??? i'll get so knackered out that the fervent fizzing in my brain will just give way to that weird post-panic attack relief and i will finally be able to sleep

finally figured out that its why i can't seem to roll my body clock back in time for uni cos the witching hour invites me deeply despising myself and unable to stop it

right
going to lie down and try again