Topic: what's saddening you right now?

[Sunnii]

It's Christmas. Worse time of the year in my family. Brings back too many mad memories, causes way too many problems and lastly makes my mum turn into the worse, horrible little.... thing in the world.

The last two day have been the worse. Her shouting at me for no reason... Chucking things at my head. Telling random people I am a spoilt brat who no one will ever love. Surprisingly I have kept my cool... I have done no shouting back. Well Ok I shouted back when something connected with my face. But all today I kept quiet and listened to music, even though I had it on low so I could hear what she said about me. Nearly broke me down into tears but I haven't spoken to her since.

But her boyfriend... Well now ex boyfriend. Was helping me through it... Telling me what to do to keep my cool. But he had to deal with her poo instead of me. And about half an hour ago he finally couldn't take it any more and left.

They were going to get married. He loved her that much. Still does. But he got pushed away.

I am surprised he had lasted this long to be fair... Most people cant deal with the mess my mother brings to the house. Even I gave up last year. I moved out at 15 and lived with a family friend. Only I moved back last new years. My brother is the reason I came back. He missed me and I missed him. I knew my mum missed me but I also knew Charlie wouldn't be able to put up with her mess. So hear I am once again feeling like I am worthless.

So once again is comes to the time of year I am now afraid off. The time that makes so many people happy. And it makes me feel rubbish.

Sorry for the rant but I needed it off my chest.

[RocketMember002]

Hitchins died, the world has lost a bit of sanity today.

[MOP]

Completely unprepared for these interviews coming up, travelling all the way to Crewe and West Brom for two probable rejections just feels like a waste of time.
Better write some essays for my CPD.

[Kpyna]

i wanna love someone

not in the romantic way, well, that'd be cool too, but in a friend way. either one would be perfectly fine. i used to love a friend of mine, but then she ditched me for someone else. like i didnt know how much i loved and cared about her until she stopped being so dominant in my life and i immediately fell into deep depression. i dont even know how long it was, all i know is that i spent so much time just lying in bed not really eating or drinking or having any energy. and its like... now i feel like i'm starting to get depressed again because i have no real love to focus on anyone. i have plenty of friends, people are always commenting on how many i have, but not a lot of them really mean too much to me. theyre all just personalities i enjoy spending time with. im not too dedicated to them. i want someone to be dedicated to who's not in my family.

and even in the romantic way... i haven't really been able to fall for anyone recently and it kinda sucks. im not gonna lie, i am a major teenage girl on this type of stuff, where i always like at least one guy i can say i'd like to date. i honestly couldn't tell you one. i mean i honestly think im starting to slip into another spell of depressions. nothing's fun. nothing's worthwhile. i want to be committed to something, anything, but i can't stay interested. i dont want to spend christmas wishing i was asleep in bed. ugh. i just feel like im missing a chunk of myself for some reasons, and i cant find the missing piece.

[sylar]

my gran and aunt got me a bunch of jewellery and make up and bath stuff i am not going to wear any of this they wasted so much money on me i am disgusting

[Clairefable]

^ can I have it I love that stuff

[Spriter]

I feel like such an outcast at school. I mean pretty much everyone goes out with friends, while i sit here doing nothing. I always have a crush on some girl who's so god damn popular, and i'm like the last person she'd turn to. And then i can't fit in, as i'm too flipping wierd and many disregard me cause i play pokemon. And i look like someone who got the ears of dumbo and...that's as far as i'll go. it's like i have some crap love life, and everyone doesn't think of me as a decent person. more or less thinking i'm some mentally unstable dumbass.

Then, i'm annoyed with being bullied, and none of the people in my set help at all. and my muscular dystrophy doesn't do me a favour either, despite it being the one that doesn't kill you younger. i feel like pretty much everyone is being nice, and secretly disliking me. i also feel like i'm being ignored by the girl i like at times.

ugh. at least i'm not so damn depressed and thinking suicidal thoughts...

/rant ended.

[rapidash king]

idk, i know this is just me being silly but the fact that people are following me on tumblr is just making me nervous. they're actually cool blogs that i've admired for a few weeks and suddenly they follow me and i just don't know what to do, because it feels like when such a cool person follows me i don't ever want them to unfollow because it would feel like a rejection from someone you look up to, you know? or something like that... i don't know, i am so awful at expressing my thoughts. it's dumb to get so worked up over this but it makes me anxious ugh. and then i don't know what's good and bad to post because i don't want to post something that would make them unfollow me which is really bad because i shouldn't post things based on what others like, i should just post based on what i like... sigh idk what to do. this whole situation is completely silly and i wish it wasn't bothering me like this and i wish it wasn't even a problem to begin with.

yesterday i learned the symptoms of a panic attack turns out i have those all the time

[Ledyba]

that.. feeling when everything is just too much.  Just too overbearing.

Let me go away from it all, pleaaaaaaaaase.

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

yesterday i learned the symptoms of a panic attack turns out i have those all the time

it was like when i looked up generalised anxiety and whoops being scared of literally doing anything for no reason other than it makes me feel scared and funny inside and staying indoors as a result and being scared of doing simple things like going outside and going to the shops and wow its like oh so thats what it's called
i thought it was me just being a big lamewad

[Sizacu]

Dad's going back to Singapore tomorrow, and we won't see each other again until May, so four months I guess. He didn't even stay in England that long, this time! Ughhh ;;

[Webby]

Nothing says "happy new year!" quite like a fire at your best friend's house. I turned up at her house at the same time as the fire engines and spent an hour worrying about everyone who was there. Thanks world, you made 2011 worse than it already was.

[OranBerrySandvich]

I feel like I'm just wasting effort uploading on that site. Wherever I look, everyone's getting praised for their works, even when it's undeniably mediocre. I'll admit my works aren't much bette, but someone should at least have the courtesy to tell me that. All I want to do is improve upon myself, but it's no use when nobody notices you...
This goes for real life and the internet. I guess "it's like trying to notice a grain of salt in a sea of sand" is a suitable phrase.

[MOP]

^ Sadly that's always the way of things in school, in work and online. You've got to just keep pushing yourself along because wherever you go there will be a person or group who receive more attention for little reason. Good luck with your art/vids/writing etc and try to enjoy doing them for the sake of doing them.

[IvanWolf♥]

I feel like I'm just wasting effort uploading on that site. Wherever I look, everyone's getting praised for their works, even when it's undeniably mediocre. I'll admit my works aren't much bette, but someone should at least have the courtesy to tell me that. All I want to do is improve upon myself, but it's no use when nobody notices you...
This goes for real life and the internet. I guess "it's like trying to notice a grain of salt in a sea of sand" is a suitable phrase.

I know exactly what you mean. Everyone's work gets praised and even critiqued.
I'd be fine with either! Come on, people... Notice my writing? Please?
It's not too bad though, i guess, just gotta keep uploading and once you get a ton of stuff on there wherever people look it'll be you stuff or ther will be a better chance of them finding it. Gotta get popular i suppose.
At least thats what i tell myself.