Topic: what's saddening you right now?

[MOP]

Work hasn't been great. Its nothing major but all these little things which mean every time you start to solve one you have to run off and sort out another which also never gets sorted out. At least I only had to do five days this week. :/

Also the work night out to the theatre never happened, I don't particularly enjoy work nights but since they're my only social life I sort of need them! This one would have been good too because only one or two people were going to turn up.  >.<

[Shaymin]

I'm pretty sure my guinea pig hates me

give him lots of cuddles and cucumber and sweet peppers.

i'm ill and have to go to the doctor's for a certain reason that i really really really do not want.

[The biscquiat dragon]

I've been whining nonstop for the past few days but I think I should mention this
It's been six days and no one has followed up on an issue about my toilet. The supply line is leaking and the flapper is completely broken. I wasn't satisfied with the utilities upon moving in here. There was a smell in the apartment when I moved in. I don't like the area. Despite it being way too much space for me, I pay way too much for it for what it is regardless. I can't afford it anyway. I flooded my bathroom earlier and I'm just feeling like this is the final straw and I want to move.

But at the same time I'm thinking that I'm acting entitled by feeling this way, like are all these really legitimate reasons to move? Telling myself, I should just get over it.

So I'm thinking all these things and I don't even want to move, moving is stressful and it couldn't have come at a worse time.

Obviously if I don't have enough money for rent and I haven't sorted my income issues out yet, I certainly don't have enough for a deposit on a new place. I told my older sister this, and she said... that I should get into a new place. I don't even have the self respect to ask my mom for a little more for the deposit. She reminded me that it makes a little more sense to not only get to a place where I'm more happy but rather than being lent $200 for rent every odd month that I'm short, when a final $200 deposit is not less affordable or more demanding in the long run.

When I hung up with my older sister she spoke with my aunt. None of them want me to worry about whether mom will back the deposit in time, and none of them trust her to do it. So my aunt offered to back the deposit as soon as we find a place, because she never liked me living here in the first place. Older sister's going to look with me. It's just really stressful and I'm crying and I can't...

I'm also in a bit of a mixed state. Things will probably get easier to process in a few days.

I'm so overwhelmed, and I feel both that I'm thinking rashly, except my overreaction is fueled by something valid so it just keeps spinning around in a vicious circle.

I don't know what to do...

[Shaymin]

so in the past 12 hours a mega nasty coldxcough combo has hit

[Inferna]

Still feeling horribly low, this only lasts a day but i've felt like this for over a week now.
got no motivation to do anything, i'm far behind in all of my classes and for once i just don't care. I put on a smile and try to seem ok but i'm not. My friend noticed it today but i said i was fine.
It's funny i always dish out advice for other people but i hate sharing my own problems ha. I feel like a burden then.
I'm sick of trying to hold it together all the time and being ~strong~ whem i'm not. I've got no reason to feel disgusting i just do, its there in the back of my mind and appears as if my head decides 'oh you've been happy for too long let's make you feel terrible now!'
ugh i'm pathetic.

[Liam]

Celtic 0 - 3 Juventus

Why did it have to end like this.

...

there's always next year.

[Clairefable]

Celtic 0 - 3 Juventus

Why did it have to end like this.

...

there's always next year.

Wait does this mean they're not The Best Team In The Solar System anymore?

My sides!

[Kpyna]

i'm getting bored of my relationship with drew and it makes me feel bad because he's such a good boyfriend besides a couple altercations and i like him and dont wanna break up with him but

i'll be all like, "lets go for a walk, its really nice out"

all he wants to do is sit around and watch breaking bad. which is great but i mean our relationship has been focused around tv for the past month or so. i just wanna have fUuUn

[Shaymin]

So after suffering for a month with an unknown illness not even the vet could diagnose, my hamster Shelley passed away this morning :'C

[Inferna]

haha rant approaching

feeling so sick of doing art now it’s horrible
 
idk whether it’s because i’m feeling down in general or just because i don’t care.
 
i’m trying to put myself out there more by posting everywhere and putting effort into my stuff but no-one seems to care. even if someone said ‘i like your stuff’ once in a while i’d be happy, knowing that people like it.
 
i see so much good art, especially in the homestuck fandom. i pretty much follow alot of hs blogs for that reason. i want to read it but i’d feel like i’d be bandwagoning eh
 
same goes for pokemon but i’m becoming sick of drawing that too idk i just want to draw more of my own stuff but my inspiration is terrible and i feel like even though not alot of people like my stuff pokemon art is what i’m ~good at~
 
i don’t even have art block either i’ve got ideas all the time just cba doing anything with them
 
i hate this
 
not felt like this about my art since i had my stupid art teacher back in 2011.
 
i can’t even stop doing art because i’m on an art course hahahaha this is what i was worried about that my passion for it would be sucked out of me and it slowly is. i’m just aiming to pass and get to uni but even then am i good enough? nope. ha.
 
screw this

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

haha rant approaching

feeling so sick of doing art now it’s horrible
 
idk whether it’s because i’m feeling down in general or just because i don’t care.
 
i’m trying to put myself out there more by posting everywhere and putting effort into my stuff but no-one seems to care. even if someone said ‘i like your stuff’ once in a while i’d be happy, knowing that people like it.
 
i see so much good art, especially in the homestuck fandom. i pretty much follow alot of hs blogs for that reason. i want to read it but i’d feel like i’d be bandwagoning eh
 
same goes for pokemon but i’m becoming sick of drawing that too idk i just want to draw more of my own stuff but my inspiration is terrible and i feel like even though not alot of people like my stuff pokemon art is what i’m ~good at~
 
i don’t even have art block either i’ve got ideas all the time just cba doing anything with them
 
i hate this
 
not felt like this about my art since i had my stupid art teacher back in 2011.
 
i can’t even stop doing art because i’m on an art course hahahaha this is what i was worried about that my passion for it would be sucked out of me and it slowly is. i’m just aiming to pass and get to uni but even then am i good enough? nope. ha.
 
screw this

weird out-of-the-blue old fart advice incoming

keep drawing

art loathing is a natural cycle in all artists like artists block also is (if you've had that then gr8 if not then try not to give up when it does happen)
you just gotta push through it cos the million and other ways of trying to sidestep round it delay your drawing even more while you're like sitting on a cushion aligning your chakras or w/e

like a good drawing pick-me-up is this topic about how someone who could just about render cubes and spheres went to a master painter

people say its a "talent" and for some it is easier then others (mainly due to brain variation across our species you know how some people are better with maths than others but no-one in the class is universally crap at maths) but that don't change the fact that drawing is just a painstaking effort endeavour and the reason people can draw is because they put the 10,000 drawings* in to become a good drawer (*basically the only way to become good at drawing)

if you don't wanna trawl through all the pages just look at the first 3 pages of his art and the last 3 pages of his art


people who draw well in the homestuck fandom do that because they've been slogging through it for years and naturally know the countours of a face so they know where to shade and where not to shade and how to draw a line so it looks like what they want it to look like
not to mention they've been drawing w/o compliments or "wow!!!!!!"s for frickin ages


i know its hard seeking for recognition when you first start up but you are gonna have that for a while until you develop a style where people go "whoa" (and even then you shouldn't be entrenched in it)
to be honest i think people draw and expect everyone to fall over themselves when the healthy thing to get is constructive criticism i.e. people will say "you need to learn such and such"

its a long diatribe about going on deviantart and surrounding yourself with yesmen and your art style going down the toilet in the meantime which im not typing here but at the end of the day yes it sucks and i know you probably want to throw it all in the toilet but if you really really really want to do art then go for it

if you are suddenly realising that you don't want to have a career based on art it's not too late to do a swervy turn and swap to chemistry like i did hahhhaa it took a couple extra years to completely change directions but its possible




i guess what i'm saying is have a long hard think about why you're doing art and where you want to go with it

if you want to be an illustrator or artist or even graphic designer (watch out you don't end up in freelance like everyone else who doesn't go with/didn't come with Connections) in the end after all then make a pact to keep going no matter what like even draft out a magical girl contact to yourself

draw one thing a day whether you want to or not
do something completely unfamiliar every week thats right out you comfort zone

im saying this because even though i go on record as not caring a lot about anything on here like i reckon you should keep going cos its like someone doing a 5k marathon and getting to the first kilometre and having an epiphany about running while everyone else overtakes them

like i don't care mostly cos i don't run but im kind of going "NO KEEP RUNNING YOU CAN RUN BETTER THAN I CAN KEEP ON DOING IT" and i'm kind of a wimp so i don't say it i just think it at a distance and hope my weird paranoias about the world are right
(my weird paranoias about the world aren't true aren't in case anyone labelled me as a kooky wicca Copehagen Quantum Mechanics witch just then i have silly theories about the world but im not willing to be serious about any of them)

like you should be doing that "i'm drawing every pokemon" for extraenous practise more than anything else like tbh sod the compliments

like if you keep at it i reckon you could be a good artist

[Inferna]

weird out-of-the-blue old fart advice incoming

keep drawing

art loathing is a natural cycle in all artists like artists block also is (if you've had that then gr8 if not then try not to give up when it does happen)
you just gotta push through it cos the million and other ways of trying to sidestep round it delay your drawing even more while you're like sitting on a cushion aligning your chakras or w/e

like a good drawing pick-me-up is this topic about how someone who could just about render cubes and spheres went to a master painter

people say its a "talent" and for some it is easier then others (mainly due to brain variation across our species you know how some people are better with maths than others but no-one in the class is universally crap at maths) but that don't change the fact that drawing is just a painstaking effort endeavour and the reason people can draw is because they put the 10,000 drawings* in to become a good drawer (*basically the only way to become good at drawing)

if you don't wanna trawl through all the pages just look at the first 3 pages of his art and the last 3 pages of his art


people who draw well in the homestuck fandom do that because they've been slogging through it for years and naturally know the countours of a face so they know where to shade and where not to shade and how to draw a line so it looks like what they want it to look like
not to mention they've been drawing w/o compliments or "wow!!!!!!"s for frickin ages


i know its hard seeking for recognition when you first start up but you are gonna have that for a while until you develop a style where people go "whoa" (and even then you shouldn't be entrenched in it)
to be honest i think people draw and expect everyone to fall over themselves when the healthy thing to get is constructive criticism i.e. people will say "you need to learn such and such"

its a long diatribe about going on deviantart and surrounding yourself with yesmen and your art style going down the toilet in the meantime which im not typing here but at the end of the day yes it sucks and i know you probably want to throw it all in the toilet but if you really really really want to do art then go for it

if you are suddenly realising that you don't want to have a career based on art it's not too late to do a swervy turn and swap to chemistry like i did hahhhaa it took a couple extra years to completely change directions but its possible




i guess what i'm saying is have a long hard think about why you're doing art and where you want to go with it

if you want to be an illustrator or artist or even graphic designer (watch out you don't end up in freelance like everyone else who doesn't go with/didn't come with Connections) in the end after all then make a pact to keep going no matter what like even draft out a magical girl contact to yourself

draw one thing a day whether you want to or not
do something completely unfamiliar every week thats right out you comfort zone

im saying this because even though i go on record as not caring a lot about anything on here like i reckon you should keep going cos its like someone doing a 5k marathon and getting to the first kilometre and having an epiphany about running while everyone else overtakes them

like i don't care mostly cos i don't run but im kind of going "NO KEEP RUNNING YOU CAN RUN BETTER THAN I CAN KEEP ON DOING IT" and i'm kind of a wimp so i don't say it i just think it at a distance and hope my weird paranoias about the world are right
(my weird paranoias about the world aren't true aren't in case anyone labelled me as a kooky wicca Copehagen Quantum Mechanics witch just then i have silly theories about the world but im not willing to be serious about any of them)

like you should be doing that "i'm drawing every pokemon" for extraenous practise more than anything else like tbh sod the compliments

like if you keep at it i reckon you could be a good artist

thank you so much for this post btw!

yeah i do just have to force myself to keep drawing everyday even if i don't want too :u i do draw at college almost every day but that's ~academic~ art so i guess i don't enjoy it as much? it's been useful to learn though so it has helped! especially colour and location drawing for getting perspective down.

i've seen that topic on ca before it's actually insane but i guess it just boils down to pratice, pratice and more practice! I need to have a proper read of it at some point though.

it is annoying not having people like my art but i suppose it's not different/unique enough to stand out from the crowd (but let's face it what is aha everyone rips of someone in some shape of form).

homestuck art is so pretty <3 don't think i've ever seen a dud besides from the horribly edited art from the comics. I wouldn't mind trying to draw some characters but i feel like i need to read it first aha

i'm actually so glad my anime phase stopped when i was about 12 before i came on the internet. i've heard so many people being stuck in a rut with it and having to go back and relearn all the basics! but yeah since i've been 16 i've been constantly trying to improve all the time and i think it's slowly starting to pay off now i guess.

I don't think i'll have a proper ~art job~ I'm wanting to go into primary teaching at some point so that's another pipe dream of mines. I think it's just my college course that's putting me off just now because it's full of mature students  (28 - 60) and most of them are great but it gets annoying when they whine about having to do higher art and doing computer work :u
"it's new and scary omg i can't help"
I'm leaning more illustration/animation side of things now. the uni i'm hoping to get into has 96% employment rate after graduation so hopefully i won't end up freelance aha.

i'm def going to try drawing more pokemon just to get some practice in like you said.
 and thank you!
thank you so much for this though, really given me a boost <3
[sorry for any typos this keyboard is disgusting]

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

thank you so much for this post btw!

hhaha no problem :y
like your reply sort of put an upspin on what was a very bad night last night so haha yeah like i wanted to reply last night but i needed to be in bed for a lecture i ended up oversleeping for anyway sighs and rolls eyes

yeah i do just have to force myself to keep drawing everyday even if i don't want too :u i do draw at college almost every day but that's ~academic~ art so i guess i don't enjoy it as much? it's been useful to learn though so it has helped! especially colour and location drawing for getting perspective down.

haha like omg tell me about it i'm uncomfortably learning that you literally have to immerse yourself in stuff you'd never draw ever again
like i think we had to do modigliani of all frickin things in year 7 but im glad we did cos i like having had the experience and the Ideas from it cos all paths of everything have Usefulness in them

i've seen that topic on ca before it's actually insane but i guess it just boils down to pratice, pratice and more practice! I need to have a proper read of it at some point though.

it is annoying not having people like my art but i suppose it's not different/unique enough to stand out from the crowd (but let's face it what is aha everyone rips of someone in some shape of form).

like i would say like i say to all sort of people who can draw worth a damn and say that its not different enough to stand out from the crowd YET cos all artists go through A Period Where Its The Same but you deffo could if you keep at it

i think a couple other good places for constructive crit are polykarbon (hahhhahah oh my god talk about nostalgia) and wetcanvas if you haven't registered there already

 

homestuck art is so pretty <3 don't think i've ever seen a dud besides from the horribly edited art from the comics. I wouldn't mind trying to draw some characters but i feel like i need to read it first aha

oh there is terrible art out there trust me

i'm actually so glad my anime phase stopped when i was about 12 before i came on the internet. i've heard so many people being stuck in a rut with it and having to go back and relearn all the basics! but yeah since i've been 16 i've been constantly trying to improve all the time and i think it's slowly starting to pay off now i guess.

yeah i'm one of those people going back to square one
like people complimented it sure but there was like speedpainters and there was me trying for 3 days to fix a terrible looking arm and then just giving up and pillowshading it because i have no idea how 3d surfaces work cos i didn't study drawing properly

like its kind of Humbling and i had an emotional temper tantrum with it for a good few months before buying Bert Dodson's keys of drawing (reccommended book for all artists and proto-artists) and just beginning to start at square one and so far i have a one-line drawing of a travel mug and a vague gesture drawing of my slippers so

I don't think i'll have a proper ~art job~ I'm wanting to go into primary teaching at some point so that's another pipe dream of mines. I think it's just my college course that's putting me off just now because it's full of mature students  (28 - 60) and most of them are great but it gets annoying when they whine about having to do higher art and doing computer work :u
"it's new and scary omg i can't help"
I'm leaning more illustration/animation side of things now. the uni i'm hoping to get into has 96% employment rate after graduation so hopefully i won't end up freelance aha.

haha yes good a plan is good even if its any plan

the mature students sound like the type who expect to draw anime and then when someone says "do you have any anatomy under your belt" and they're like "my art gets 2000 likes on deviantart i don't think i need anatomy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and its just like midlife crisis in slow motion
like i think one of the hardest things as an artist is appreciating criticism and learning to sift the pure pointless hatred for your work from the compliments from the constructive criticism
like its why deviantart has a thing for you to explicity ask for constructive criticism or at least it did when i was first there and the whole place wasn't full of fetishes

like people see art as 1. pick up pencil 2. instant talent 3. endless praise when really you get praised for a drawing cos it took you two weeks to come up with the concept and another week to get it looking to a standard that you don't hate and you've been drawing for like 5 years already
and people think that just happens cos of this RNG algorithm that seems to bestow instant talent on some people and its like playing the lottery no-one ever wins it except for a tenner in 2011 once or s/t like you get money by being really boring and investing in ISAs and budgeting and researching economic plans etc. etc.

ngl if i get 5 comments on a picture i've done i consider that a jackpot

like if you want to go ultimately into primary teaching like a PGCE shouldnt be entirely too hard to do?? might be an idea to research child psychology later in life

i'm def going to try drawing more pokemon just to get some practice in like you said.
 and thank you!
thank you so much for this though, really given me a boost <3
[sorry for any typos this keyboard is disgusting]

hahhaha aww shucks #u_wu#
like i want to post in all the topics of people drawing but i can't cos im too shy and i usually sort of don't tell people a lot of things cos im not good with the whole "my opinion matters in any way" thing yet

like i can't promise to be there being all sort of YES KEEP DRAWING every time cos i'm a bit weird about giving praise out all the time but as a 25 year old relearning how to draw and trying to learn from every mistake keep at it

like i think the other day i was like "wow i really like the minimalist motif you can do with groudon and kyogre [im only just playing gen III at last now]" and tried to sort of do stuff based on that

EDIT i rambled about the all 649 pokemon project here before realising it was a completely diff. person but wherever you are siacziu (sp????) you should keep at it as well

but deffo try to analyze pokemon character design cos esp. when we get to gen III and beyond
like i love the stuff they did with gen V and gen VI cos its quite hard to do an evolution for murkrow and yet still have me fall in love with it

like i guess all this twaddle goes for anyone doing art like i know some 25 year old loser on a forum doesn't really know much about anyone elses life but like honest moment i was steps away from making a Big Mistake at one point
like i wanted to do graphic design and do websites etc. and was applying for foundation courses in art and ive just deleted the 4 paragraphs of boring backstory but it would have been a huge mistake
i love drawing but im not at a stage in myself yet where i'm able to do it for a living like i really can't make a living out of a hobby unless i want to hate that hobby

like it took about 3 years to go from "oh no." to my "welcome to chemistry" letter from my uni so its not like i didn't have months of despair and directionless bleating pathetic whining for a while hhahahh so i spend at least 1 year fannying about trying to decide what to do
at about age 20 my mother not being able to afford to support my rent/clothes/bills etc. and me Having To Make Adult Life Work usually knocks the remaining teenage brat out of the system
of course you could go the other way like one supervisor at work and turn into alan partridge but thats a story for another day

like i thought i was going to be this excellent talented graphic designer until i realised that my graphic designer friend gets gigs and Contracts and went to Bournemouth uni because--
well i should have spotted the signs when he spent an entire evening going "it costs HOW much to insure a BMW??? holy crap"
and how we found out his mum was basically a rich daughter of someone
like it was another instance of Money and Connected Family and me not understanding the difference between my stupid anime heads and my friend who had about 20 or so professional sites under his belt and a huge house in the Rich Expat area of the spanish city and how he owned a DSLR at the age of 18 and did a photoshoot for The Toasters i.e. an actual Famous ska band because his family had Connections and he knew how to make use of them too ~_~

long story short i was basically going to end up as a small rob liefield and once you're rob liefeld there's no coming back your ego aint comin down for the rest of your life 
thank god things happened the way they did tho omg



holy crap sorry i wrote so much everyone
im not really sorry though hhahahahahah suckers

also like steelix is basically (one of) the best pokemon so

[Sizacu]

Oh wow- didn't expect to get a comment there haha. Thanks, I really appreciate it (honestly), but whenever I try to draw Pokemon it either doesn't turn out right and I scrap it and try to draw something else :v I feel a little guilty about leaving it like that, but I can't seem to like much that I draw xD

[nothing upsetting me atm, except maybe other homework issues, but i've rambled on about those a few times xD]

[The Shrub Dragon]

we literally cannot - and this is not an exaggeration - have a dinner at the table without an argument between my mum and brother breaking out.  we actually stopped having them for a couple of months and this has been our first one since and once again we've had an argument.

the worst thing about it is that it follows the same pattern every single time and nobody ever learns: someone mentions something about authority (which isn't hard as dad's a prosecutor and mum's an hr manager), ed starts questioning it in an extremely aggressive manner, mum asks to stop because she wants a quiet dinner, ed calls her narrow-minded and unintelligent, mum starts being passive aggressive, ed goes on and on, mum thanks ed for ruining dinner, ed leaves the room (and from there there'll either be full on screaming or awkward silences).

i don't understand why it always happens and why we can't just stop and have a normal dinner and muck about at the dinner table and not just scream and why don't they know when to stop and can i do something about it and please can ed just stay in the dorms when he goes to uni rather than staying here will that stop it.  i'm sorry about the long winded whine.