Topic: Story help

[The name master]

I can't imagine anyone caring about this, but, you never know until you try.....

Anyway, here goes....

I'm going to make a story, which I'm going to draw, and then later, animate.


The story is:

A Nidorino kidnaps Nidorina, And Mudkip must save her.


Here are some things I've worked out myself:

The reason Nidorino kidnaps Nidorina is because he likes her, but Nidorina already likes Mudkip.

Nidorino has an army of Porygons.

Nidorino has a machine called a Porygoniser, which turns pokemon into Porygons (usually partially) pokemon that go through porygonisation lose their free will and become Nidorino's slave forever.

Porygon2 is created by accident when a Porygon is knocked into the Porygoniser (though it destroys the machine in the process) Nidorino sends it to destroy Mudkip. It later evolves into Porygon-z.

There is probably going to be a Zangoose that saves Mudkip from an ambush. It later betrays Mudkip by giving Nidorino information about Mudkip's location, being promised a reward. Nidorino then Porygonises him.

There will be a battle between Mudkip and Nidorino. Nidorino evolves into a giant nidoking and battles Mudkip in a similar battle to this (start at 1:17)

What I'd like YOU to do (if you even care!) is to give me ideas. It could be character ideas, story ideas, anything. If I use your idea(s) I will give you credit in the end credits. Dirty jokes ARE allowed (but it's best if you send them in a PM!) any questions, don't hesitate to ask me!

I'm sure I wasted 20+ minutes typing this!

[the bread dragon]

kill off a main character

[The name master]

kill off a main character

^you see this? This right here? THIS is what I should have expected! I actually get the confidence to share something I don't usually share with anyone else, and this is what I get! This is the "help" I get!

Thanks for nothing! I'm sure I can think of something without anyone else! Unless you have sensible suggestions, I'm not interested!

And also, if you don't care about this topic, me or anything I (put a lot of effort in to) make, then please DO NOT post!

[The Shrub Dragon]

you do realise that killing off a main character isn't necessarily a bad idea, right? 

there's a whole subset of tropes surrounding it owing to the fact that it's a popular plot device that has been used in hundreds of works because it has so much conflict potential.  22 of the books in my bedroom (and do bear in mind that I keep some of my books outside of my room also) kill off main characters.  of my top five favourite tv shows (buffy, Gilmore girls, gossip girl, white collar, glee), three have killed off main characters.

there's nothing wrong with bread's suggestion.

[The name master]

Thinking about it, I could kill off Nidorino and/or Porygon2!

Spoiler: show

(actually, Porygon2 will die!)

And I guess Zangoose is a main character....

[the bread dragon]

i wasn't joking


:/

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 The entire story could turn out to be a legal high-induced dream.

[sans the skeleton]

maybe these two sites will help you

http://writershelpingwriters.net/
https://www.philipbrewer.net/story-structure-in-short-stories/

[The Hooded Trainer]

One point i would make is, give the villains stronger motivations. I love seeing what makes characters tick, particularly the bad guys. Sure i get that nidorino likes nidorina, but what is it that drives him to take that extra step and kidnap her? Is it just plain loneliness, or does he not get that its not an okay thing to do, or what? And why does zangoose want the reward so badly? Does he have bills to pay, or medical insurance for family members, or is he just greedy?

[kindtocrows]

^Yes! Always try and give your characters strong motivations! It makes it so much more interesting! It adds so much to your story! Remember, most people think they're the hero, even villains. They may realize others think they're bad, but they don't, they think what they're doing is right even if no one else understands.

[The name master]

We've all been through what Nidorino's been through!

We've probably seen a girl that we like, but she's got someone else. It makes us so angry and jealous.

I guess Nidorino's plan is to kill mudkip, then Nidorina won't have mudkip anymore, so she'll have to be with Nidorino, who will probably marry her later.

Also, if someone could make these sprites thanks!

I was thinking of having a train chase between mudkip and Nidorino. There are two pieces of music I could use:

this

OR

this

Which one should I use?

[The Hooded Trainer]

Depends what kind of tone and feeling you're going for. If you want the scene to be tense, the first one. If you want it to be more humorous, the second one.

Also, as far as motivation goes, jealousy isn't bad. It's not exactly the most original or complicated, but basic motivation is still 1000x times better than no motivation. Still, though, i feel like you could go deeper. A lot of people feel jealousy, but few would ever resort to kidnapping or murder. What was the last straw that led to nidorinos actions? Does he not understand that what hes doing is wrong, or does he just not care? And if he doesnt understand nor care, then why doesnt he? Has he spent his whole life in isolation and doesnt really know how to express his emotions properly, so it comes out as rage? Or was he raised to believe that he can do whatever he wants to people?

[The name master]

Well, Nidorino doesn't want to hurt Nidorina (shown when he gives her a plate of Jelly Babies)

I was thinking. Maybe in the past, Nidorino used his technology to take over Kanto.

A lot of people feel jealousy, but few would ever resort to kidnapping or murder.

Maybe Nidorino is one of those few!

What was the last straw that led to nidorinos actions?

Maybe he sees Nidorina doing stuff with mudkip he wishes it was him she's doing it to?

He probably doesn't care. If he finds out anyone is plotting against him, or is his enemy or just generally does not like somebody or just out of pure meanness, the result is instant Porygonisation.

[The Hooded Trainer]

Hmm, i see where youre coming from with all that, but there a couple of things id suggest that could make things a bit more interesting.

1) The whole porygonisation thing has a lot of potential. Developing a machine that can control minds is something any scientist might try and do, and maybe at first theyd only use it on people who genuinely wronged them. Its easy to see though how they might go too far, since every person they take control of is another person that will back up all their plans, until eventually theyve created their own personal echo chamber out of mind slaves. Kind of like a "this action cant be wrong because i have 1000 mind-controlled pokemon telling me its right" sort of thing. It could easily lead to a skewed sense of right and wrong and now im getting carried away, sorry about that.

(If you want to go even deeper down that rabbit hole you could have it so he didnt even realise that hed invented a mind control device at first, he just thought hed made a way of transforming pokemon into a new species, and by the time hed realised what the machine really was the damage to his personality was already done.)

2) Go into more detail about why nidorino likes nidorina. Sure, finding her attractive is one thing, but the evil creeper is pretty overdone imho. If you go deeper itd go a long way to humanising your villain (even though hes a pokemon, but whatever). Maybe he likes her sweetness, or he sees how innocent she is compared to her, or something along those lines. (I dont really know your characters that well, but think about what it is about nidorina that makes her unique and have the villain fall in love with that. That could actually be pretty interesting, i think.)

[The name master]

Nidorino (if he even takes over Kanto) mainly used Porygonisation to take it over.

Also, I based Porygonisation on Roboticization and the Porygoniser on the Roboticizer

Also, there is no way of deporygonisation.

If you have managed to say any of those words, I congratulate you!

Let me tell you about the Porygons:

They seem to simply be robots rather than actual pokemon. They are used by Nidorino and only obey him. Porygons have no Personality. They capture pokemon to be Porygonised. They are armed with a laser that is fired from their snouts. They are also able to fly. However, Porygons are extremely weak and inefficient, being weak to water and laser fire and most pokemon attacks. Slicing or stabbing with blades also works. Crashing into walls or each other destroys them too.

Porygon2:

The result of a Porygon being Porygonised (though it overloads and destroys the Porygoniser) Porygon2 is much stronger than Porygons. It can also think, due to artifacial intelligence. It is armed with various weapons, including powerful lasers and machine guns.

Would you like me to tell you about Nidorina? Pm or on the forums?