Topic: Stupid Things Customers Say

[Kpyna]

Most of us have worked some close to minimum wage jobs in retail or food service. As a result, you usually see some weird people in your travels. Post your tales here.

I work at a Macy's store right now and it has two floors, and the main way to get up and down is a set of escalators located in the center of the store. The other day I was making my way towards the escalators, and when I was about three feet from the escalator, a lady stops me, "Excuse me, do you work here?" I look down at my nametag with the Macy's insignia on it but I let that one fly because it happens all the time. "Could you tell me how to get to the first floor?"

I was just kind of stunned for a moment, and then I said, "Uh, the escalator" and motioned towards it and she thanked me and went on her way. I don't know how she missed them.

The second story that I'm reminded of with the escalators is once the second I stepped on the "down" escalator, a woman with a thick accent starts asking me where to find something but I can't really understand her. I'm rapidly descending on the escalator while she's now yelling at me to try to find out where to find children's clothes or something, and I'm trying to help her but I couldn't get her to leave me alone until I was halfway down the escalator. I don't know why she didn't just ask literally anyone else.

[Kerou 犠牲]

Those aren't even that bad lol, I'll probably have at least one story to tell after work today so this post may get edited haha

[Inferna]

I've had my fair share of annoying customers over the past year and a bit. I've discovered that the ones who come to the deli are infinitely more annoying than bakery ones.

"Oh this meat is all processed and horrible!" *pause* "I'd like ten slices of your billy bear ham please" ????
My favourite thing though is how people never just order in slices. It's got to be grams of this or lbs of that. Quarters and sixths is another one. I wasn't brought up on the imperial system of weighing except for stone lmao. Plus the scales are metric it just makes my life easier if you order in grams pls. Wanted to punch a woman once when she asked for 'two pounds of gammon' and then after slicing that amount she told me she meant it in money, not weight.

The bakery ones all seemed to be at night?? People get very angry about baked goods.

"Why is there no bread left?" (At like 8pm at night)
"We sold out I'm afraid."
"Can you not just make some more, I can wait!"
"I'm not a baker and no."
"Why are you in the bakery then!?"
"There's still bread over there pre packed."
"I want fresh bread!"
"If you want I can keep a loaf aside for you, next time you're in."
"No."
"..."

"Why is all the bread sliced, I hate sliced bread!"
"It's store policy to slice any bread left over for the next day."
"Not everyone likes sliced bread *grumble grumble*
honestly the amount of times I heard that one! I'm sorry pal but if you want an unsliced loaf come in earlier on in the day or I can keep you one.

Reductions were a pain too. Customers would come up with like a sirloin steak and be like "reduce this please" and get angry when I said no. Yeah don't fancy losing my job, I can't just reduce anything you like! Sometimes they'd just come up with something I'd just reduced and demand I take more money off it right now or that I hadn't taken off enough.

My biggest peeve is when they read your name of your badge: "thanks for your help, *squints at badge* Courtney!" it just sounds so fake and artificial pls don't. If I've seen you a few times it's fine but really just don't.

I hate retail tbh but on the flip side you do get some lovely customers.

[Sizacu]

I volunteer in a charity shop and you have customers wanting items reduced. Sorry? It's a secondhand shop - what more reductions do you want? And it's not like it's all going to the business, profits go to the charity.

Woman has just paid £45 for a really nice pair of boots. She picks up a shirt and asks, "Can I get a discount on this? To £2?" The shirt was originally £4.99. Lady, if you can afford to spend £45 on a pair of boots for yourself, you can afford to spend the extra £3.

[The name master]

Probably the only question people are going to ask at shops now is "do you charge 5p for a bag?"

[Turner]

I don't really talk to customers in the sense of the general public (thank god) but I work at an ISP exclusively for enterprise and often find myself on the phone to their "qualified" tech support teams who range from completely incapable to cantankerous and mentally unstable.

"Hi I'm calling on behalf of <business> at <branch>, can you confirm whether or not the line here is down? We're not sure if we're having some problems with the VPN or not"
"Yeah sure....OK, the line's up, I can get onto the router and I can see your Firewall in the ARP table...most likely a problem with your VPN I'm afraid"
*slightly long, awkward silence*
"BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE A PROBLEM WITH THE VPN!!!!!"

I was like woaaaahhh, jesus christ. She didn't even slam the phone down, she just waited for me to answer as if her yelling would somehow change the situation. I was just like "Oh well, that's unfortunate, let us know how you get on with that".

People are mental.

When I was in year 10 at school I had to do work experience at some paint shop and this proper big workman guy was like "OI M8, HELP ME CARRY THIS" and wanted me to lift this huge bag of heavy rubble stuff with him. And then when I couldn't lift it he was all "YOUR BLOODY USELESS U ARE"

It's like, I'm 14 years old, I'm tiny and my arms are basically glorified twigs. Didn't exactly pick the cream of the crop there did you?

[Lord Raven]

I've worked for like a month as an assistant manager to my dad for his restaurant.  It was basically volunteering.  Anyway;

"Is your food taxed?"
Yes.
But food isn't taxed."
This is a service, sir, we aren't just giving you food.
But food isn't taxed, so why do I have to pay extra?

Also;

Your kababs are 6.95, I could buy the grounded meat for like 3 dollars elsewhere.

My mom kept arguing with the guy and she eventually said Okay look we'll give you the raw meat for 3 dollars and you can make it at home yourself. or something

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I had a customer once take his car into my dad's shop because his windows wouldn't go down. I asked if the window master switch lock was on and he stared at me and said "Oh my car doesn't have that." I said nothing but it was the switch. All cars with power windows have a switch or button that causes the Windows not to open and close when turned on. There is even a section on operating the Windows in the manual. A lot of people make this mistake because they don't bother to look at the manual included with the car. And when we show them, they feel pretty stupid which makes us feel bad for making them feel that way.

[Milsap]

I was talking to a potential new student when I was a teacher (we called the students customers a lot) and it was like talking to a brick wall.

"So what would you like to accomplish after leaving here?"
"I dunno bruv, just make beats"
"Ah, okay- So be a producer?"
"Nah man, I just wanna make beats"
"Any plans to go further after college? Like go on to uni or do an internship?"
"Uuuuuummmm... Nah man, just make beats for my mates to spit bars over"
"Right, so you want to be a producer?"
"Yeah man... Makin' beats n' ****"

I'm assuming 'spit bars' translates to 'rap terribly'.

[SirBlaziken]

^In a sense, yes.

I'm in line at Subway the one time and I hear this gem:

"Is that bread gluten free?"

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 R.I.P Dubsta Dragon

 He just wanted to make beats.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I came up with two related Barbies that Mattel would never make. They are Minimum Wage Barbie: Walmart and McDonald's Editions. They both have miserable looks on their faces and say nasty and unpleasant things about their jobs including responses to stupid customers e.g. "How many times do I have to tell you that we only accept returns unopened?! UNOPENED YOU MORON!!!!"

[Milsap]

R.I.P Dubsta Dragon

 He just wanted to make beats.

He now attends maths and English skills classes in the offices below mine.

I'm in line at Subway the one time and I hear this gem:

I was in the one in Peterborough and this woman kicked off that the cheese wasn't suitable for vegetarians because the people touch the cheese and then the meat. Not realising they use a new pair of gloves for each customer.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Today my dad had this customer tell him that her brake pedal went to the floor and he told her to bring her car in. She then asked him, "Is the car safe to drive?" I'm pretty sure having no brakes is not safe to drive.

[That Girl in the 'Roo Suit]

I git asked if a black americano that I had literally just called was a caramel cappuccino.

I then got asked if it had milk in it.