Topic: What's confusing you right now?

[Inferna]

another one here lmao
don't mind answering phones but i actually hate phoning people.
like even family members sometimes. i've been meaning to phone/text my new driving instructor for about 2 weeks now and i still haven't. I have the text all ready to send and everything.
I get my mum to make like 90% of my drs appointments for me still.
I am getting a little better though, it was only recently I started being able to phone myself taxis. Sounds so stupid when I say that because i'm 20 but yep!

It did turn out that my mild depression last year was probably because of my anxiety. I still revert to being 13 sometimes and worry that everyone is watching me and feel really claustrophobic in busy places. I've just been told I need to force myself to stay in uncomfortable situations (parties/crowds) so my adrenal glad stops going nuts and then I don't associate busy places with being scared.

but yeah i'm not as bad as i once was tbh, once I started college after leaving school, I forced myself to make friends and it worked! it was really hard though but everyone was lovely and i realised i had nothing to be scared about. i'm a pretty good judge of someone's personality so i always trust my instincts.

tl;dr another anxious nerd

[Shaymin]

laughs i remember when i had to phone you inferna to meet up
i sat whining for five minutes in the caravan holding my mum's mobile like i don't wannnaaaaa
but then i did
talking w people on the phone is an awful experience
i also hate getting letters i always worry they're bad lmao /dies

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

ive chosen the other option re: social anxiety, surrender to the wave of constant uncontrollable adrenaline and let it wash me to the crest of the wave and mutate me into a neurotic panic-wrecked clownlord, im hoping i'll write some barely readable cult-success book as a result

im sure it'll make a nice/horrible biography for some poor ghostwriter once i manage to accidentally kill myself in a hilarious way through frenzied hoarding/dale gribble paranoia/mountains of cat litter/abnormally high cortisol/accidental cat food enema

[Wrath of Zuruggu]

Lol, I never realised phones could cause so many problems for so many people. I guess it makes sense as a social anxiety spin-off but eh, when most of the world says, "just call them and it'll be over" you end up thinking it's a lot simpler than you take it for. I'm not even sure why I have a phobia of phones and I couldn't predict whether or not I'd be comfortable making/taking a phone call from anyone. Regardless, if I call someone and they don't answer I get even more anxious and often can't call them a second time (or leave a message).

Here's a good lol: I've been to the doctor a couple times about anxiety (when it's been really hard going - high heart rate, dizziness, fainting, nausea, diarrhoea, etc.) and I get told to phone an anxiety helpline. Lol, me make a call when I'm already fainting due to anxiety? y r u troll, doctor?

I try not to let the anxiety get the better of me but an irrational fear is irrational and sometimes I just can't help crawling under the bedsheets and sleeping until the scary goes away. It's something that has taken my boyfriend a long time to get used to but I think he's realised how life-threateningly dreadful I find phones now. He used to keep pushing me into making calls (like, iuno, to BT about service packages), which obviously made the fear even more intense but now he'll offer to make them for me, which is a huge relief some days.

[MOP]

Finally started applying for a job in a different hospital. I'm sick of working in a place which seems determined to be run in to the ground. The thing confusing me is I don't know if I would accept an offer elsewhere if I got one because the severe staff shortages mean I can work 50-60 hour weeks if I want and get paid extra. The money is really helping with saving up a deposit for a home when I eventually move to a cheaper part of the country (the long term plan).

[Captain Jigglypuff]

The leaked pic of Mega Slowbro on blocked. What's up with it looking like a toy top????

[Spriter]

It's the Shellder being mean.

[Milsap]

I can't quite figure it out. Is Robin Williams dead?

[Shaymin]

I can't quite figure it out. Is Robin Williams dead?

yeah. it's not a hoax. just tune in to any news station. it's so sad

[Milsap]

^ I was referencing the fact that I signed into Facebook this morning and it was all about him. Some had put up four statuses in one hour about it.

Fishing for likes, probably.

[SaRo|Rapidash]

The thought that I (although, for the reader, that I is you I guess) could well be the only person who is actually alive. I mean... I can't see through your eyes, can't think with your mind, can't hear with you ear, (*) yet for some reason it's normal to just accept that you're alive.  I mean... ~11 billion years of the universe had no life, and that seems largely pointless, which means that for it to not be pointless that just have not happened but there's scientific proof that it happened which leads to the conclusion that science is a fallacy but the only possible way 11 billion years could of not existed is if the world is an illusion created in my mind.

Idk, it's just a weird thought that always confuses me, I mean, there wouldn't be 11 billion years of nothing, right?

(*As an interesting thing, try describing a colour without naming something that colour. You can't, right? So, there's no way of cross referencing whether my blue is your blue, for instance, and what I see as blue you could see as pink because you've just been told the sky is 'blue', but we don't necessarily recognise blue as the same thing)

[RocketMember002]

I think one of our members has been smoking something naughty.

[Kerou 犠牲]

I've never really looked at it as "am I the only one actually alive, is everything else a figment of my imagination?" but more of a "why am I me? why do I have these traits, these flaws, etc. that define me?" and how would it be if I didn't have these characteristics yet was still me...

I mean, I know all of this defines who we are but I always do wonder how much different things would be if I was different.

Life is such an interesting concept.

[Wolstenholme]

On a similarly deep note - memory is confusing me this fine eve.

Memory in that we will never be able to remember things we have forgotten. All through your life you live consciously, logically making decisions and not considering that in even a matter of days you will have forgotten exactly what it felt like to be in that moment. It's like how they say you have thousands of dreams every night but when you wake up you may have no recollection that you have even dreamt at all - it feels so weird knowing that there are things you experienced during the night that you can't feel at all. Weird weird weird.

[Kerou 犠牲]

^ I dunno, it does seem that the most important ones are the ones which we hold onto (important in the sense that they're the most impactful to ourselves); I mean there's memories that sometimes neglect but still have the ability to reach out and grab hold of if given the correct push in the right direction. It makes me think that whilst we may have lost a lot of memories over the years they obviously weren't as necessary as others, even if there are ones you'd wish you could just forget about