Sell Something Utterly Ridiculous to the Above Poster

[Hitmonchu]

Would you like a wooden Hitmonchu?

Call now to order
Must be 1000000 years of age or older to order

[quack98]

Would you like to buy an Asian turkeysaur? You know you do! It's the low, low price of £1,000,000, with free shipping to the UK, and £7.50 shipping world wide (except U.S. which is £500 shipping to make up for the extortion we pay )

[SirBlaziken]

how would you like to buy a snail, but not just a snail a turtlesnail?
only 500000000000 euros! call now

[Hitmonchu]

Wanna buy something more than a corndog?
Then try the new-and-improved
2 CORNDOGS!
Buy for only $38!

[SirBlaziken]

How would you like to buy a NuclearDeath Puppy?

Amaze your friends
Destroy the earth
Power New York City
Get actual nuclear waste

These are just a few of the things you can do with your nuclear death puppy!

Yours for the price of $3,000,000 and one puppy.
Ask about free shipping!

[quack98]

Airs essential. You agree there? Why not buy extra air? Extra air = extra life! It's the fountain of eternal youth!

Bags of fresh air! Only £1000!!!!!!!!!!*

*limited time offer, offer ends 10 minutes ago, regular price £1000000000

[SirBlaziken]

Hello you want to buy a duck? But not just any duck, a duck that MOOs!

only one million rupees! order now

[quack98]

You may like chickens; who doesn't? But why not try something new? Why not try the Jackal headed chickens? Only £1999.99/g

[Hitmonchu]

Hello, good sir.
Would you care to buy some
Hats for your pancakes?
They make any pancake look gentlemanly
Order now for only 440£

[SirBlaziken]

Shut up and take my money!

How would like to buy:

A Taco flavored Glowstick?

only $100 each, call now!

[quack98]

(They actually sound quite cool)

You like Crocodiles? You like Quesadillas? Try a Quesadile! The worlds first mix betwixt Animal and food!

[SirBlaziken]

That idea really BITES

You should buy a 

only  dollars and cents

[Hitmonchu]

You'd love a  !

[SirBlaziken]

Do you want to buy a vowel?

Only $250

[glash101]

No,I'd like to solve the puzzle: Pikachu thinks u sux!

Kind sir,how would you like to buy a Cow?
But not just any cow,a brown cow? You can make chocolate milk so you aren't annoyed by that old joke!

Only the crazy low price of:

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars.We only accept exact cash. Order now and we'll throw in a slug for  only
1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars more! (Plus 1,000,000,000 S and H)

What? That price for a chocolate cow? It is selling something UDDER-ly redeculus(Ha!)