Author Topic: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.  (Read 2900 times)

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Offline Angelic Lapras King

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So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.
« on: September 09, 2013, 20:40 »
So to save a long story short, my parents are getting tired of me "doing nothing" around the house (Despite all the favors I do for them) and I'm tiering of the way they want control over my life. With that said, while not definite and again just an idea I am considering for now, I'm considering moving out.

Now, one threat that keeps getting thrown at me is me being put into a bedsit. It's only recent I learnt of these, being like a flat but being one bedroom to yourself, with sharing the rest of the building and facilities with other people who live in other bedrooms. Basically I had a few questions to ask before I take any action.

1. Experience. Does anyone here have experience in living in a bedsit or know of anyone that does/had and if so, how was it? It's pretty much key to my decision as I don't want to live in a horrid place if they are like that.   

2. Benefits and rent. As I'm a long term jobseeker, my JSA is my only income. Now my sister had previous blabbed about getting some of your rent paid/discounted if you're on benefits, so I was wondering if any of that was true or not. If in doubt, I can always ask her again (Though finding her number would be a little bit of a headache... @_@) but as I mentioned, JSA is my only income. T.T

3. Possessions. Now being the hardcore videogame/DVD fanatic that I am, is there a limit to how much stuff you can have in your room and bring in when you move in, or is it all AOK? Also, what about furniture like bookcases, desks and large TVs? There's always the option of being stuff in little by little at a time, but al my lovely stuff that I love so much is a HUGE factor.

And yeah, anything else you'd like to share would be a help also. Really feel I'm running out of options and feel this could be the only answer (Unless by some miracle, some mates and I decide to share a place, but who knows.....) .
« Last Edit: September 22, 2013, 20:54 by Angelic Lapras King »



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Offline Joeno

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2013, 20:55 »
Rent will depend on the area, and while you can get housing benefits (look it up online, the link you want is the first result on Google) that only covers part of your rent. The same goes for everything else you have to pay for - electricity, gas, water, food (expect that to cost quite a bit).

Assuming your JSA is the standard amount, it is going to be incredibly tight. My basic advice is to save a bit - as you're going to need to be able to afford some initial items - the first month's rent and such, assuming the appartment is already furnished (which will be more expensive, else you need more furniture).

As much as you may like your video games and DVDs, I'd advice you to stop buying them from now on. With barely any income and needing to take care of more basic needs, you're not going to be able to spend money on them for a while. If you don't spend everything on your daily outgoings - rent, food and so on mentioned above - you might be able to get something with the excess, but be aware you'll want to start saving too. Things will break, unexpected bills will come in, and you need to be able to spend the money on them.
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Offline Mulholland

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2013, 21:23 »
Not that I am stereotyping at all here but it would probably not be a good to bring anything into a bedsit that couldn't be easily replaced.

Plus, you say you're long term unemployed. What areas of employment seeking are we talking about here? If you are very long term I think the job centre are obligated to send you to courses... Or at least your local adult education facility will offer free/discounted skills classes.

Offline That Girl in the 'Roo Suit

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2013, 21:28 »
I think Joeno has covered the financial side pretty well.

In terms of actually living in a bedsit, what you make of it depends entirely on the sort of people you end up living with. I rarely saw my housemates on the basis that our work schedules completely clashed - I'd be leaving the house shortly before they got in. Bedsits, house sharing, whatever you want to call it, is a good way of moving out into the world without really being left in the lurch. There are people there who are helping you pay the rent and bills (everything is split, you wont be paying just so much per sé, it's down to how much you all need to spend collectively) so if unexpected bills or whatever come in, you all chip in and pay. It's still a fair amount of money, especially in your area.

It's a little cheaper here, but I'm still finding it difficult to find somewhere affordable on minimum wage whilst doing my Masters, working part time, and paying for my Masters with as little help as possible. (I have a scholarship, but the remaining £1400 is coming out of my own pocket, and I am loathe to get a loan to help with rent and bills, so it's all about the budgeting here! Kind of in a similar situation, but I guess I've done it before, and student accommodation is pretty much the same thing just with loans)

What I would say is try to find somewhere with people you already know, just so that you don't feel like a stranger in your own home. The freedom is amazing - I essentially moved out when I was 18 and I don't venture back down that way all that often. If you know someone who has a room going, or other people who are looking to move, look together. I cannot stress how much easier it is. Having gone into a house of complete strangers before (and then kicked out because they used my work situation as a blame for a noise complaint caused by their drunken screaming and shouting) and lived with people I knew, I'd rather know where I stand in advance.

Usually bedsits are already furnished, so beds etc will already be provided. If it's unfurnished, I'd recommend recycling websites local to your area, you might be able to pick up some furniture cheap. Adverts in places like Tesco, Wilko etc might also shed some light on the issue. But you are really limited to what you can fit in your room - I've been in the flat at work for 8 and a half months now and I still have 3 crates unpacked because it's stuff I've accumulated but have no real way of getting rid of, or it's stuff I need but don't have the space for. Definitely cut back (I know, it's hard. eBay is your friend for more than just buying though) and have a think about what you /need/ as opposed to what you want. Saving money isn't easy!
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Offline MOP

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2013, 22:22 »
Everyone else seems to have summed it up nicely but one extra point to mention is that some flat/house shares will refuse you if you are unemployed. There are plenty that don't but you might find it a little harder than if you had a job. People worry you won't be able to pay your share of the bills I suppose.
Best of luck.

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« Last Edit: September 09, 2013, 22:24 by MOP »

Offline Angelic Lapras King

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2013, 00:34 »
Thanks for the advice guys.

Had a look on the housing benefits thing and did the calculation thing as an example if say, I was paying £65 a week and it seem to say it would pay that amount (Unless I picked a wrong option) along with my JSA but again yeah, the matter of bills do come into play, which they do not cover. >.<

But still, thank you again. Seems I'm guess gonna have to stick it out then till something comes along, and if my dad threaten the bedsit option again, I can at least use what some of you guys said (Waiting list, decline the unemployed etc.) to counter him at least, lol. XD



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Trainer Dave

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2013, 00:55 »
[Postsniped, but here is some info anyway :) ]

I've not got much experience with bedsits, but I know a bit about house sharing, which is similar. With the right group of people it's also a great way to make friends, so if possible go for somewhere that doesn't have constantly changing housemates.

You may have trouble finding a place if you're unemployed, as landlords' main concern is whether you can afford the rent. That said, if you can find someone (parents?) to act as a guarantor for you you should find it easier (basically someone that agrees to cover the rent should you be unable to pay it). My main advice otherwise is to beware of dodgy landlords - if they take a large deposit it should always be held in one of a few government-approved 'protection schemes'. The vast majority of landlords are fine but it's important to be careful when signing contracts, as there are a few out there who prey on ignorance. A full inventory on arrival alongside photos taken by yourself is invaluable if they try to claim you've damaged anything when moving out.

As for contents, the limits are merely what will fit into your room. If you want to live in a sea of DVDs nobody is going to stop you, but furniture is usually provided (just ask the owner). Security may be something to keep in mind - contents insurance is good to have and is often included in rent for some places.

Good luck!

Offline Joeno

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2013, 08:02 »
but again yeah, the matter of bills do come into play, which they do not cover. >.<

Sorry to sound snarky here, but as that smiley is there... yeah, they wouldn't. These benefits are to help out, not to pay everything for you.

Your best option right now is still to continue doing your best to find a job. Employment will make it a lot easier to find a place you can afford and it sounds like it might clear the air at home anyway. I realise it's not as easy as that, but it probably remains your best option at this point.
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Offline Angelic Lapras King

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2013, 10:43 »
Sorry to sound snarky here, but as that smiley is there... yeah, they wouldn't. These benefits are to help out, not to pay everything for you.

Your best option right now is still to continue doing your best to find a job. Employment will make it a lot easier to find a place you can afford and it sounds like it might clear the air at home anyway. I realise it's not as easy as that, but it probably remains your best option at this point.
It sure is, but having 8 years with not much success really hits home when my parents are concerned, hence why the threat of being kicked and me considering the move.



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Trainer Dave

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2013, 11:00 »
Mind if I ask what sort of area you're looking for a job in?

Edit: field, that is
« Last Edit: September 10, 2013, 11:05 by Daedalus »

Offline Joeno

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2013, 13:46 »
I would assume that after eight years, the answer to that would be 'anything'
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Offline That Girl in the 'Roo Suit

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2013, 15:23 »
Now is definitely the time to be looking. Students are leaving and Christmas is coming,. People are looking for staff, even if its just temp or seasonal work. I've been offered temp work over Christmas and I'm not even looking, so it is definitely possible.
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Shatter your illusions of love?
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Offline Mulholland

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2013, 17:38 »
It sure is, but having 8 years with not much success really hits home when my parents are concerned, hence why the threat of being kicked and me considering the move.

I am going to fire a whole bunch of questions at you re:job seeking. I know my 6 months isn't completely comparable (and I don't want this to become a swarm of people jumping on) but just want to ask a few things.

1) You say not much, are we talking no employment at all? Temporary work? etc.

2) Apart from school what other experiences are there on the CV?

3) Any volunteering or adult education courses that you have done?

4) What field are you applying to?

5) (not to be judgemental) What are you doing in an average week?

Offline Angelic Lapras King

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2013, 15:10 »
I am going to fire a whole bunch of questions at you re:job seeking. I know my 6 months isn't completely comparable (and I don't want this to become a swarm of people jumping on) but just want to ask a few things.

1) You say not much, are we talking no employment at all? Temporary work? etc.

2) Apart from school what other experiences are there on the CV?

3) Any volunteering or adult education courses that you have done?

4) What field are you applying to?

5) (not to be judgemental) What are you doing in an average week?
1. Voluntary, and an agency which lasted all of 2 weeks before the work dried up then the agency closed down. @_@

2. 3 years of college in IT and Business and Retail, an Adult Education to better my Maths and English to O Level equivalent, film work (Which I have my best friend as an important reference if they ever call him), a City and Guilds in preparing for employment (Job Centre Course) and the stuff I mentioned in question one.

3. I currently do voluntary at a charity shop once or twice a week to keep me work active and to show employers I'm not just doing nothing throughout the course of my week.

4. Retail, IT, Admin, that sort of field, but mostly retail.

5. Applying to jobs, my voluntary work, helping parents out with little chores and problems every so often, sometimes sending off stuff I sell on ebay, going to where ever the Job Centre wants me to go (Usually courses every so often. T.T) as well as my bi-weekly signing on day, sending spec letters when I can (This thing I was on from the job centre sent spec letters for me for free, but as that's finished, I'll have to see how I can do it again), going to the high street for various things (Food, etc.), and in the evenings, pretty much me time (Gaming, TV, etc.). I usually have the laptop on all day for normal stuff and job searching (I also draw and write stories for money during the night).

Oh, and whenever I find time, I try and write stuff that I hope some day to get published. I know I might lack determination and discipline to write more often and lack whatever education writers do to make a career out of writing, but honestly I get new ideas for stories and chapters all the time. Not a day goes by when I don't get at least one new idea. I would love to make a career out of it, but till that day comes when I fully finish something, I do need employment till then. ^^;

On a slightly related matter, I noticed Bluewater was having a jobs faire next month so I registered and gone invited, so hoping to go to that at least and hope for the best (Even an Xmas temp would be a HUGE victory for me. lol.).   



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Offline SirBlaziken

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Re: So I'm Considering Moving Out. Need Advise.
« Reply #14 on: September 13, 2013, 02:12 »
Well, then I wish you the best of luck there.
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