Topic: Jay Gold (Edited)

[Movemaster]

Character name: Jay Gold

Age and Gender: 15 male

Description: 6.1 ft, average weight, black hair, hazel eyes, jeans, black hoody, white t-shirt

History

He was born and raised in Celadon city. This meant he knew the place pretty well. He was wandering the routes nearby when he found an injured Abra. It was being ravaged by a pack of Growlith. Jay hurriedly made a decision and picked up the struggling Abra. He heard the Growlith baying and knew the chase was on. His heart pounded as he heard their footfalls closing in on him. Then he sighted the Pokemon Centre. An extra burst of speed came out of nowhere and he burst through the doors. But was this the end? No. He and the Abra quickly forged a relationship with bonds that couldn't be broken. They decided to be a team. After intense training and miraculous journeys, Jay's Abra involved into a Kadabra. A new bond was formed, a bond of deep friendship.

Personality

He is quite a friendly guy and is really protective of his friends. He often throws himself headfirst into trouble without thinking about the consequences but his quick thinking and pleasant attitude often solve this with ease. He is quite irresistible and you have to like him once you get to know him, but if he makes an enemy he is relentless and will not give in to their desires, no matter the cost.

Friends: Aedan, Josh, Aura, Woozii, Vance

Enemies: John Tempest, The Management

Pokémon

Kadabra (Psyche): teleport, psychic, reflect, calm mind, light screen, recover
Squirtle (Bluey):tackle, withdraw, water gun, surf, icebeam
Charmander (Flamer): metal claw, ember, scratch, flamethrower

[Joeno]

Please check punctuation, spelling and capitalization.

[Movemaster]

Is it ok now?

[Movemaster]

Character name: Jay Gold

Age and Gender: 14 male

Description: 6.1 ft, average weight, black hair, hazel eyes, McKenzie jeans, black hoody, white t-shirt

History

He was born and raised in Celadon city. This meant he knew the place pretty well. He was wandering the routes nearby and he found an injured Abra. It was being ravaged by a pack of Growlith. Jay hurriedly made a decision and picked up the struggling Abra. He heard the Growlith baying and knew the chase was on. His heart pounded as he heard their footfalls closing in on him. Then he sighted the pokemon centre. An extra burst of speed came out of nowhere and he burst through the doors. But was this the end? No. He and the Abra quickly forged a relationship with bonds that couldn't be broken. They decided to be a team. After intense training and miraculous journeys, Jay's Abra involved into a Kadabra. A new bond was formed, a bond of deep friendship.

Friends and enemies: no friends/enemies yet

Pokémon

Kadabra (Psyche): teleport, psychic, reflect, calm mind, light screen, recover
Squirtle: (Bluey):tackle, withdraw, water gun

[Joeno]

I'm going to be more picky about this because we've had to have a number of corrections before, so I'd like it to be better than normal.

The description could actually be a sentence, it makes it both easier and more interesting to read. 'wandering', 'Abra', 'Growlithe', 'Centre, after this' 'Psyche, it later' 'training and he' (one huge run-on sentence). The capitalization and punctuation in your 'Pokemon' section is inconsistent.

[Movemaster]

Character name: Jay Gold

Age and Gender: 14 male

Description: 6.1 ft, average weight, black hair, hazel eyes, jeans, black hoody, white t-shirt

History

He was born and raised in Celadon city. This meant he knew the place pretty well. He was wandering the routes nearby when he found an injured Abra. It was being ravaged by a pack of Growlith. Jay hurriedly made a decision and picked up the struggling Abra. He heard the Growlith baying and knew the chase was on. His heart pounded as he heard their footfalls closing in on him. Then he sighted the Pokemon Centre. An extra burst of speed came out of nowhere and he burst through the doors. But was this the end? No. He and the Abra quickly forged a relationship with bonds that couldn't be broken. They decided to be a team. After intense training and miraculous journeys, Jay's Abra involved into a Kadabra. A new bond was formed, a bond of deep friendship.

Friends and enemies: no friends/enemies yet


Pokémon

Kadabra (Psyche): teleport, psychic, reflect, calm mind, light screen, recover
Squirtle (Bluey):tackle, withdraw, water gun
Charmander (Flamer): metal claw, ember, scratch

[Movemaster]

Is this alright Joeno? By the way sorry for double pming you before. I wasn't sure the first one had sent because my computer crashed, so I decided to send you another one.

[Movemaster]

I've edited it again now. Hope it's to your standards ^-^.

[Movemaster]

I think I've perfected it now ^-^.

[Movemaster]

I need to be able to post! ;_;

[Typhlosion]

Approved.

Just remember to stick to the above points

[Movemaster]

Character name: Jay Gold

Age and Gender: 16, male

Description: 6.1 ft, average weight, black hair, hazel eyes, jeans, black hoody, white t-shirt

History

He was born and raised in Celadon city. This meant he knew the place pretty well. He was wandering the routes nearby when he found an injured Abra. It was being ravaged by a pack of Growlith. Jay hurriedly made a decision and picked up the struggling Abra. He heard the Growlith baying and knew the chase was on. His heart pounded as he heard their footfalls closing in on him. Then he sighted the Pokemon Centre. An extra burst of speed came out of nowhere and he burst through the doors. But was this the end? No. He and the Abra quickly forged a relationship with bonds that couldn't be broken. They decided to be a team. After intense training and miraculous journeys, Jay's Abra involved into a Kadabra. A new bond was formed, a bond of deep friendship.

Friends: None at the moment.
Enemies: None at the moment.

Pokémon

Alakazam (Psyche): teleport, psychic, reflect, calm mind, light screen, recover, focus bomb, shadow ball
Blastoise (Bluey):tackle, withdraw, water gun, surf, skull bash, ice beam, hydro pump
Charizard (Flamer): metal claw, flamethrower, scratch, fly, flare drive, earthquake, dragon claw
Lombre (Mohi): fake out, surf, ice beam, grass knot, energy ball, substitiute, leech seed, double team
Marowak (not nicknamed at the moment): sword dance, earthquake, stone edge, rock slide, double edge, fire punch
((Blastoise and Charizard are being looked after by Jay's mother at the moment, after sustaining serious damage in an unofficial battle. After being treated by Nurse Joy Jay felt he had no other option than to send them home.))



Jay has been travelling alone for a while now, but he doesn't know what lays before him...

[Movemaster]

Have added personality section (from now on refer to the top of the page)

[Movemaster]

Updated friends section