what's saddening you right now?

[lukey lapras]

i bought a coat and wore it once so they gave me a free replacement but that one broke two

[saillith]

Tonight...

I'm offically a COD Widow ;____;

[Kdintranet & Scizau]

My internet speed. How long can it take to load google.. come on! At least PKMN.net WAP2 mode works fine.  

[ginrei]

Just an all round unhappy bunny.

[Sebastian Moran]

Just miserable for no good reason. Pessimistic. Under the weather. Self-absorbed. Down in the dumps. Lethargic. Unimaginatively teenage, in short. 
Have managed to convince myself that I'm going to fail this course as soon as is humanly possible and be sent back. Or maybe the financial trouble I'm having [already! amazing. bloody student loans kerfuffle] will mean that I have to leave. And I've heard nothing back from the hospital even though it's been two months now. 
And whenever I have spare time enough to sort something out, I'm far too knackered to do so. Even if I did know what exactly I had to do or where I'm to go- I keep being sent back and forth and round the bloody houses and come out of it with no progression and none the wiser. 
Urg. 
That'll do. 
Just... urg. 
 

[saillith]

Money and/or lack of it ><;

[ZekromFanatic]

I've spent the past hour moaning to my irl friends about how my life sucks and even though I think they're awesome I'm so distant to them. Then I go and wake Kay up to moan to her about it. Then I go and wake up a few other irl friends. Urgh, I'm just being a douche about it all. I'm a crap friend, probably not a good person to be in a relationship (which is something I really crave right now, especially as it's been a while since my last one) and well, I'm probably a bad person in general.

I'm just causing trouble towards people when they don't need it. Urgh, I'm just a crap and useless person =/

EDIT: Oh, couldn't sleep. Thought I'd go for a quick walk to see if that helped. I ended up taking an hour walk which could have taken 10 minutes; I just decided to take the longest route. Really explains where I am I guess haha.

EDIT: Woo, full total of 30 mins sleep (at max), plus getting out of bed and being sick isn't good. Damn I'm tired, damn I'm ill. Might just ask for the day off because I don't think I'll manage it =/

alex you know good and well you're not like that you're just plain awesome you should really know that by know.

[#Emma---#]

I've just been told that there are going to be very noisy building works going on outside my window everyday at 7:30am for five months, starting Monday. I'm paying to live in student halls, not on a building site =[ It's going to mean I can't access the block I live in properly too, and is basically going to cause a lot of problems (like the bike shed not being in use anymore because we won't be able to get to it).

Apparently I'm in one of the blocks that's going to get the most disruption as well. Great! -__-

[Shaymin]

i keep getting pains from in/around my heart

do not want to diiiie

[Cecily and Pikachu]

Just had the worst day of my life so far, I cant even think about it. Congratulations world, you've done it again.

[That Girl in the 'Roo Suit]

I just don't know whether I'm coming or going..

My housemate keeps trying to pick on things I say about him, to the point where I swear he's eavesdropping on my conversations, like the phonecall with my nan that i just had. I can't be bothered with him, I don't get on with him, he just really gets on the wrong side of me. I ust want it to be July so i can move out, which is a shame, because I love the rest of my house.

I'm pretty much constantly on the verge of tears, and I don't know why.

Emotionally I'm pretty much up the creek without a paddle. Even though I had a really good night last night I still can't help feeling that everything was just superficial, just.. not really genuine at all. And then Matt wonders why I'm a jealous person, when he decides that he's disappearing for "i dont know how long" after he'd spoken to me pretty much the first time in a month, because he'd been avoiding me. I don't think he understands that I don't know what i want, I don't know where I'm heading atm, all I know is that it's a downwards spiral.

Christmas will now be spent in Swansea, not at home. I wasn't going to come home at first anyway, but what with my family situation at the moment I decided that even if it was only for a week, I probably should. But it turns out I HAVE to work boxing day all day. I don't mind, I need the money, and I'd probably enjoy it a lot more than being at home. I can see Christmas there just being awkward and quite frankly upsetting. I may be able to get New Year off though, so I don't know. I may go home for a week in January instead. I'll have to check the rota tomorrow or whenever the christmas ones are up..

I miss my dog =[ She grumbled at me on the phone today. She'll make things better =[

And I don't want to start my essays and my presentation, it seems like more hassle than it's worth atm. I think I need a hug =/

[PiPlUp_94]

ugh i feel like there's no point in trying any more.

There's no point in even attempting my exams next year because I've been predicted Cs by pretty much all of my teachers. It's like, well okay you think I can scrape a pass - is that it? Is that all I'm going to achieve? C's for Higher English/Art/Administration and Int 2 Biology/Maths? That'll get me so far~

The only thing I'm 'good' at is Art and that won't get me far. I feel stupid because I don't even have the brains to do Biology at Higher and have to resort to a 'creative' subject to get me further in life. Even with music as well, I'm only a Grade 4 and I know so many people who are my age who're grade 8 and its like what?

:/

[saillith]

I just feel really crappy in general .___.

[sylar]

i miss my girl ugh.

[Kpyna]

the kid i like.

today at the game he moves form his seat and comes and sits behind me, and kinda sits there for a moment, and then he starts talking to the people behind him. then this kid dakota comes and sits down, and then i glance back and he's giving dakota this look, and if looks could kill, dakota would've died a bloody death. but im like, maybe he's not looking at dakota. so then i keep talking with him. then the kid i like's friends come over. and he moves over to the side, so he's ion the bleacher above us, but diagonal so i can see him. and the whole time. he was watching me and dakota talk. a few times he'd spend like 5 minute intervals watching the game, but he'd always come back to looking at us. then i started flirting with dakota and then i didnt even notice the kid i like for like 4 minutes and then next thing i know his face is in his hands and then when he takes his face out his eyes are all bloodshot and one of his friends asked him if he was okay. all he kept saying was, "im fine, ok? im okay." and he stopped watching at this point and stared off. so then i talked to dakota again.

then people started throwing stuff at us, probably because we were being really loud and annoying. i'm just looking at my friends, like, what the hell. and then people are like throwing like small metal things at dakota, and then the kid i like's friend goes and starts putting things in his hood. dakota was starting to get mad, so i was like, "just ask them to stop and if they don't then whatever." so he turns around, and looks at the person's friend and is like, "hey, can you stop throwing things at me?"

and then the kid i like bursts out and is like "SHUT UP YOUR (freaking) ANNOYING DAKOTA." i look at my best friend and we both look at him with the same faces of  o_o to :| to >:|

and then he watched me and dakota for the rest of the game.

then afterwards my best friend who is a friend of the kid i like texts him and says, "what happened to you today at the game?" and he just starts saying things along the lines of, "i dont know. im such a terrible friend and im sorry im such a letdown and disappointment..." etc. which i went from being like, 'i thought you were my friend :|' to 'i thought you were my friend... but whatever whats wrong?'

but he was really angry and i thought it was at me so i didnt say anything to him. besides he was getting ready to go out with some of his friends so he was only on facebook for like .5 seconds.

i was so mad that i went and i vented this story out to my brother.

he just sits there and is like, "is there any chance that he likes you? cause it sounds like he was getting really jealous of you and dakota."

and i was like, "yeah, he liked me a long time ago. so the chances of him liking me are there, but low"

and then he tells me he might still like me or feel like he's not as good as this kid cause when we did both like eachother i never really got onto him as fast as i did with dakota. because he said thats what he gets like when a girl he wants is with another guy, except that maybe the guy involved was a little over dramatic with the whole crying thing.

so... i guess i got good news and bad news.
good news, theres actually a chance of him liking me.
bad news, with how much i flirt with other guys, i must upset him. a lot.
bad news, he's probably gonna vent to his friends who are my friends. and they're probably gonna get mad at me
news in general... dakota's a new friend of mine?

so i guess first things first im gonna have to message him and say im sorry. im hooked on saying it was cause i was annoying.

he's just so sensitive and he tries so hard to hide it. im so scared of a day when he'll just get so mad and might do some really regrettable things.

update for anyone who actually will read that whole tl;dr: my friend just confirmed he was jealous of me talking to him :|