Author Topic: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.  (Read 3053 times)

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Offline Angelic Lapras King

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Re: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.
« Reply #15 on: September 22, 2013, 21:54 »
So to update...........I'm feeling trapped and unable to cope with various things.

As a result of me being long term unemployed, my dad has just thrown me onto a random college course (Brickwork) in the hope of it earning me work. Now I did try and get out of it, but...lets just say it ended with me getting my laptop taken away for a week. As far as the course is concerned, its not the line of work I ever wanted to do or even consider, but I have to do it whether I want to or not, because the alternative would be kicked out of the house, bedsit or not. It's fairly simple work, but I really don't want to end up forced to doing it for the rest of my life/career. Hell, I don't even know if there is much brick laying work out there, so even if I'm hired for small jobs, I dunno when the next job would be. I'm also not very fit, and pretty much useless at measurements like scale and area (Always have been) so I don't know how my parents expect me to make a career of it. @-@

As for what I would want to do, I had wanted to just get some job in retail (Retail Assistant sort of role) with Admin, IT, Office or Telesales being the back up.  Of course, despite all the vacancies I apply for, I did not get much luck, with either no responce, rejection letters, or being told the excuse "We've had so many CVs, we've not had the time look all/reply to all of them.". Course, I had considered lowering my search to work I haddnt really applied for like supermarket and fast food joints, but before I could even get to it, the college and laptop thing happened. I would hope that maybe if I got work from one of those two sectors, it could be a good reason for my parents to let me do it and not the college work, but I'm not so sure. I'd rather be working then studying, which just makes this whole situation in my life so frustrating.

As for long term ambitions, I'd really want to make a career out of creative writing, like writing stories, getting them published and making money out of them perhaps as books or Kindle....erm ebooks. I have dozens of ideas that expand every single day with a new idea at least. What held me back was not finding the time or just plain getting lazy (Which I'll admit, did sort of happen a little bit with the job searching as well, but it did pick up a little with the treats of getting thrown out.). While I do probably lack a bit of grammer skills, I do intend to mass edit my work once I got to the point where I have the story structure written. I do draw and write fanfiction work on Deviantart, which does pile up a number of commissions for fanfics (Though of course not enough to earn a living sadly...haha.) as well as quite a few favs so I know I could self-advertise a book like hell if I got published and hopefully make some money off of one.

But yeah, I am feeling both trapped and lost at the moment. Iprobably should speak up more to my parens more often, but the fact they have the say in kicking me out or not does scare me to say anything. I would love to move out and escape this worry, but as touched upon before, Jobseekers won't really cover it and with all my stuff, I don't want to have to resort to a bedsit with people I don't really trust. If I got a job anytime soon, I would hope to be earning enough to save for perhaps an appartment, if not the deposit for a place in a number of a few years (I really have no experience with home buying, but then I've not had the oppertunity).

So yeah, I perhaps need some ol' career/life advise as I am feeling down about this and starting to feel unsure of myself even. I apologize if there's mispelling or whatnot, but I am typing this on my Wii U (You know why.@_@).



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Trainer Dave

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Re: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2013, 21:28 »
I suppose the best advice I can give is not to let it get you down. Motivation is going to be a critical part of getting yourself through this situation. It might seem hopeless, but often the best opportunities are those we simply didn't think to consider. I've a few friends who found themselves enjoying jobs which they never thought would be right for them, so don't knock anything until you've tried it. :)

If you're having trouble getting employment, you want to make sure that you're always building skills. Brick laying isn't a bad start if it gets you something but I understand you'll want a job that suits you better. Have you considered looking into apprenticeships? Electrics are a good area to get into which is a bit more weighted towards logic rather than manual work, if that's what you're after. You don't get paid much but it's a decent way to find a trade for yourself. Also - how are you applying to jobs? If you want to work in a shop, walking in and talking to the manager, introducing yourself, etc. will get you a lot further than mailing in forms like every other candidate. Having someone you know that can vouch for you is also a good leg up. Be bold, be friendly and just be yourself!

If you want to get into creative writing as a career, while self publishing on Amazon or similar is a way to make money, it's probably not a realistic means of supporting yourself at the moment. At least for now, I guess it's going to have to take a back seat and be something you do in your spare time until you build a reputation sufficient to make a living off of publishing. That doesn't mean you won't make it, but many great writers didn't make a career out of it immediately.

Good luck!

Offline Luke

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Re: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.
« Reply #17 on: September 25, 2013, 20:25 »
I feel like you are looking far too much into the future. You were noting worries about 'not wanting to do X for the rest of your career', but I think that's the wrong angle. I can't emphasise enough how key getting started is.  You may have to start doing something that isn't perfect for you, but after you have experience under your belt, money in your pocket and a bit more confidence you'll be much better positioned to move into different fields that you feel are better for you in the long run.

Go to every single supermarket within a 30 minute bus ride as soon you are able to read this - introduce yourself and ask them for an application form (if they don't have any, ask what the website is), and return it to them in person the moment you've found a pen to fill the form in with.  I would also recommend including a small printed cover letter with each of these, briefly detailing your qualifications, the volunteer work you have done, and any work experience you have.

Hell, go into as many shops as you can. Produce a 1-2 page CV and print a load of them off (Your local library should have printing facilities. Seemingly minor thing, but staple the two pages together, too, instead of having them loose). Hand them in to any places that are accepting CVs for applications. If they say they have no vacancies, ask them to hold onto your CV anyway and for them to give you a call when a vacancy does crop up. 

Haven't had a response from a place in a month or two? Give them another visit! Remind them who you are. Hand them another CV/application form. Be persistent.

Like Daedalus said, if you have someone you can put on your CV as being able to provide a reference for you then that will help.  Perhaps someone who knows you from the volunteer work you have done.

If you need someone to proof read or check the layout of your CV then hit me up on Facebook (I'm Luke, from the last London meetup - you have me on there already) and I'll try and help you refine it to make it more eye-catching to a reader.

This post may come across as brash in parts - I am not going to offer you my sympathies because that won't help.  However, you are more than capable of doing this, and getting yourself a job.

You are the only master of your life. Psyche yourself up.  Be determined, and don't get complacent. This is your opportunity to get the ball rolling and take on the challenges you face. Focus every fibre of your being into getting work, even if it is a supermarket job (infact, those are good choices). Now is not the time to be picky. All your other problems will begin to fall away after that.

Offline SirBlaziken

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Re: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.
« Reply #18 on: September 25, 2013, 21:36 »
I can't emphasise enough how key getting started is.  You may have to start doing something that isn't perfect for you, but after you have experience under your belt, money in your pocket and a bit more confidence you'll be much better positioned to move into different fields that you feel are better for you in the long run.

I agree with this.
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Offline Turner

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Re: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.
« Reply #19 on: September 25, 2013, 22:28 »
Head for an apprenticeship in whatever it is you want to do.

If you're on an apprenticeship you'll be earning almost double the money you get on JSA (Between £100-£300 a week, normally increases to national minimum wage after 6 months) and your parents won't be threatening to kick you out...not to mention the prospect of employment at the end. If you are long term unemployed you will need to 'wow' whoever the apprenticeship is with in order for them to choose you over someone who's fresh out of school/college. I've been unemployed for a year and I can manage this pretty well, it's just about getting the enthusiasm edge over the other applicants - showing you're interested and stuff. The Job Centre should be able to put you on employability courses that will teach you this stuff if you're really clueless on it, just ask them - they're almost always going.

Don't worry about the fact you're doing bricklaying right now, I just lost a shot at a VERY nice IT apprenticeship (because I can't drive and this was required). When I was talking to the employer he said that the last apprentice used to be a tiler but wanted to get into IT because he was a really big gamer. He's currently doing a sponsored degree with them and working on a full wage.

If the college course you're doing is keeping a roof over your head then that's all good but don't count yourself out too soon.

As for your creative long term dreams, keep plugging away at them as a hobby every single day until you can find an opening to earn money from them.

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Re: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.
« Reply #20 on: September 25, 2013, 22:48 »
The only thing I'd also like to add is to be cautious about apprenticeships with regards to what you'll do afterwards. There is no guarantee of work once it's finished. While many offer them because they need to train new workers, there are some companies out there that just use apprentices as cheap labour that they don't have to obey minimum wage laws for. At the end of the apprenticeship these places will just tell you there's no job for you and get a new apprentice, rather than raise your pay. It's not a huge risk, but it's something to be aware of - I know a couple of people that have been stung by it.

Offline Turner

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Re: So I'm Having A Bit Of A Life Crisis. Need Advise.
« Reply #21 on: September 26, 2013, 00:31 »
The only thing I'd also like to add is to be cautious about apprenticeships with regards to what you'll do afterwards. There is no guarantee of work once it's finished. While many offer them because they need to train new workers, there are some companies out there that just use apprentices as cheap labour that they don't have to obey minimum wage laws for. At the end of the apprenticeship these places will just tell you there's no job for you and get a new apprentice, rather than raise your pay. It's not a huge risk, but it's something to be aware of - I know a couple of people that have been stung by it.

Yeah that's very true, I've heard similar. Though once you've got that experience under your belt the rest falls into place fairly easily, it's one of the more effective ways of getting out of that vicious 'No experience -> No job' 'No job -> no experience' cycle.