Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[spritey]

Granted but then I rip out your eyes and then I erase your memory so you don't remeber a thing.

I wish I could have an awesome pokemon for trade.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted, but as soon as it sees you, it laughs at you because you can't compare to its awesomeness.

I wish for awesomeness.

[Shaymin]

Granted, but then you're so awesome Chuck Norris had to come and beat it out of you.

I wish for cake.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted. *Insert obligatory Portal reference here*

I wish for warm snuggly socks.
For those not in the know, the cake is a lie in Portal.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted but the socks are also a lie.

I wish for more Portal references.

[Shaymin]

Granted, but GLaDOS moves in with you and tries to kill you. Oops, you're dead.

I wish I was better at TF2

[spritey]

Granted but everyone else gets so much better that you don't feel that you've gotten any better.

I wish for a whip.

[Gusparce]

Granted, but unfortunately its handle has bored deep in your skull.

I wish that I could shoot thunderbolts from my hand.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted, but you use your power in a swimming pool. A highly conductive swimming pool. You get electrocuted to death. You die.

I wish for obnoxiously loud hard rock genre CDs.

[Gusparce]

Granted, but you listen to them for such a long period of time that you lose your hearing, So you didnt hear your best friend screaming that you were about to drive off a cliff.

I wish I had jetpacks that could not hurt me in any way.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted but the jetpacks blast right of your back and take your clothes off in the process. Your arrested for walking around like that.

I wish for bricks to land on any random person I look at next and that doesn't count me if I look at myself.

[spritey]

Granted but you are right next to the person and bricks also land on you.


I wish for
invisible ink.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted, but it spills all over your clothes.
Wait, hold on, let me try that again.
Granted, but now nobody can read your posts. They assume you're trolling. You get banned. You lose all meaning in your life. You kill yourself. You die.

I wish that evolution slowed down so flying sharks don't nom on us all.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted but a new race of flying sharks appear with the power to speed up evolution.


I wish to be invincible.

[Shaymin]

Granted, but you age so fast you wish you died anyway.

I wish I could draw better.