Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Caldoran]

Granted, but you would be arrested by the police for shooting Lady Gaga before you even have a chance to touch your spaceship.

I wish my wish wouldn't be horribly corrupted.

[Webby2]

Granted, but you never said how long the non corruptness would last, so your wish somehow becomes corrupt iin the not too distant future.

I wish Lady GaGa didn't get shot, or Spinda, whichever one got shot.

[Hicky]

Granted, but now Samuel L. Jackson got shot (o.o)

I wish I knew everything.

[Webby2]

Granted, but everyone knows that you know everything, which means that the police ask you who shot Samuel L. Jackson.

I wish I knew Samuel L. Jackson before he got shot.

[Rotom48]

Granted, but you got shot after saying Hi!

I wish I wasn't so bored.

[Hicky]

Granted, but you're not bored because Samuel L. Jackson is body slamming you repeatedly and are thus trying to avoid him, hence you are focused on defending your life and are not bored.

I wish I could have stopped Samuel L. Jackson's shooting.

[Webby2]

Granted, but because of this, you receive a plane of gratitiude, which you think is good, but it is filled with snakes which are deadly and dangerous.

I wish for a good film to watch.

[Hicky]

Granted, but nobody else shares your opinion and throws half-eaten tacos at you.

I wish for two cows.

[Apprentice]

Granted, and you shall watch Bio-Dome.

I wish to have something tragic or life-saving happen to me.

*SNIPED*

Granted, but they're two HAMBURGERS.

(Same wish)

[Webby2]

Granted, but you get run over, and survive via an operation... for 10 minutes.

I wish for a field of my own.

[Hicky]

Granted, but it is the site of the Britons v Romans in A.D. 60 and you die.

I wish for a gaming console that works.

[Lucariojr]

Granted, but I sneezed on it. :/

I wish Lobsters could vent hot air through their eyes and create steam that could act as extra eyes.

[Mr shadow]

granted, but a lobster shoots steam in your eyes and now your blind.

i wish that my dog was an assassin and killed everyone i told it to kill

[Lucariojr]

Granted, but you have the same name of the person you want to kill.

I wish I had uber powers.

[Spinda]

Granted, but you start mutating into Katy Perry.

I wish for a car.