Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Jarl ulfric stormcloak]

granted, but no-one can warn you of the bus about to hit you
I wish people would let me grant, ive been sniped twice!

[Gusparce]

Granted, but they dont let you live. I wish that I could play chess well 

[Buttons The Plural™]

Granted but everyone can play better. and you will -always- be missing your queen

I wisn i never lost or gained any weight when i eat or don't eat.

[Gusparce]

NOT THE QUEEN! Granted, but you become dumber each time. I wish Absol had an evolution.

[Buttons The Plural™]

Granted. But it wil look like grimers ugly offspring and will only have the moved grown and tailwhip. no others.

I wish my pockets created the exact amount of money i need for any purchace.

[porygonpolygon777]

granted but if u stick ur hand in ur pokets theyll bvite u! jk ur awesome NOT!!!!! i wish porygon could evolve w/o trade!

[iKod]

Granted, but it's a very horrible one, with low stats.

I wish this thread was locked. Too many newbies around with terrible spelling.

[Phyrior]

Granted, but unbeknown to you, it was laced with a contact poison made for biological warfare by the Chinese. Your death is slow, and, most assuredly, painful...

I wish Bluffy would understand that I quote memes just for my own amusement, not to spread them...

(Besides, 4chan is a proverbial virus-pit. I only went there once and I had to completely rebuild my P.C.)

[Darkwing]

Granted... But all she can do is type in LOLcats style haiku.

I wish Gus had his chocolate

[Buttons The Plural™]

Granted but it gets horribly messy and sticks to everything forever.

I wish i never ran out of tea. And it is really awesome tea.

[Roxxy the Zangoose]

Granted but it is frozen tea and you do not have an oven.

I wish I had unlimited dark chocolate that wouldn't get messy or make me sick and was really good tasting.

[Gusparce]

Granted, but i makes you alergic to it. I wish that I could shoot lazers from my eyes.

[Buttons The Plural™]

Granted but you are blind.

I wish i was a pokemon trainer

[Phyrior]

Granted, but your starter mauls you the second it's called out of its Pokéball... (Like we all didn't know THAT was coming...  )

I wish I knew what to wish for...

[Awkward Squirtle]

Granted, but you can't wish it

I wish Homework was illegal where I live now and that I don't die