help me ask someone out please

[The Shrub Dragon]

ok i don't know why im asking on a pokemon forum of all places because i don't trust 99% of you to give me solid advice but there's a pretty solid queer community here and thats basically my issue lies


so like theres this girl im at school with and i take 2 out of my three classes with her.  she's very sweet and i've done presentations with her in the past.  thing is i have no idea whether or not shes gay and my friendship group is like completely different to hers so i can't just go 'yo she gay??'.  so like,, i want to ask her out but i don't want to seem predatory or make her uncomfortable (+shes a model so like,,, im really below her and if she does like me its a miracle) if anyone has any advice please help.


also thinking ahead if she does like me back can someone help w first date ideas bc shes a vegan and i don't want to go anywhere that'll make her uncomfortable

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

couple cursory questions: have you engaged her on Lesbians in general or have any idea of her opinions on Gay Stuff? how often do you talk to her exactly at the moment and how Familiar are you with her???

i know this is p much 100% Govteen Response im giving here lmao but still. its also possibly to avoid you doing what i did once

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 Just pop her up and be like "hey, I really like you and would love to hang out with just the two of us some time".

If she's totally game, explain your situation to her and stuff and see where it goes.


1ST DATE SHOULD BE VEGAN PANCAKES FOR PANCAKE DAY.

[The Shrub Dragon]

couple cursory questions: have you engaged her on Lesbians in general or have any idea of her opinions on Gay Stuff? how often do you talk to her exactly at the moment and how Familiar are you with her???

shes known im gay for a couple months and we're chill.  we speak maybe a couple times a week barring general kind of 'hi's in the hallway, mostly abt school stuff and sometimes if we're in the same room as im looking at them i'll show her pictures of cats and stuff.  i've been in a show with her so like,, we've been at our worst together and ive also seen her execute some banging fuetes.

1ST DATE SHOULD BE VEGAN PANCAKES FOR PANCAKE DAY.

vegan pancakes yesss!!!

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

shes known im gay for a couple months and we're chill.  we speak maybe a couple times a week barring general kind of 'hi's in the hallway, mostly abt school stuff and sometimes if we're in the same room as im looking at them i'll show her pictures of cats and stuff.  i've been in a show with her so like,, we've been at our worst together and ive also seen her execute some banging fuetes.

lmao well thats better than where i got. i mean im Cautious myself and tbf with you various bad things kept happening before i could get anywhere with my crushes so i just ended up watching them from afar and leaving

but..........i would play it Hang Out Outside As Friends first and get to know her a bit better before springing the "do u want to do lesbians with me" question. alternatively go ten pin bowling kind of jut ur hips n butt out all gloriously when ur throwin the ball and she'll come under their spell and BEG to be lesbians with u.




i mean i asked out the current 7+ years and goin strong love of my life after crashing out from several awkward abusive romantic relationships (i am a recovering punching bag, wouldn't u guessed it) and nervously went up to them in the shop i worked and went "h-h-h-h-hello u seem cool uh can i have ur myspace???? so we can hang out?????????" to them (it was 2009 what can i say) and we hung out and things just kept clicking into place more and more.

so u never know. i mean its just me and ymmv and you might ask her and it'll be a Yes

but i would start at hanging out Friendswise with them a bit more like going to the arcade or hanging out and throwing clods of earth at people you dont like (or whatever people do outside these days) if poss. cos if anything else that usually unearths Nasty Surprises (if there is any) quicker than jumping straight in. like maybe it turns out she spits like a camel on the mention of pokemon or s/t 



ps apologies for grammatical errors cos this doesn't scan well but its the best i can do today

1ST DATE SHOULD BE VEGAN PANCAKES FOR PANCAKE DAY.

vegan pancakes yesss!!!

idk about you but are vegan pancakes even possible???????????????????? its like gluten free baking where its like, ok so you took out the one thing the recipe relies on what do i do now. i mean if it goes Wrong at least u can have a Laff about it but HOPEFULLY it wont.


maybe baking science has come a way since i was a dumb babby (someone yells out "yeah beth, that was yesterday! haha" and i get epically owned for the lose)

[The name master]

Need help asking someone out?

Just say this:



And she'll probably say to you:

i don't trust 99% of you to give me solid
advice

Yes, you're right!

[The Shrub Dragon]

beth u are so helpful i love ur advice so much i feel like a protegée

ok development of the day is that i have investigated and she's bi so im going to see if she wants to go out just once and then go from there

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

beth u are so helpful i love ur advice so much i feel like a protegée

awww u are very sweet ( ˘ ³˘)♥ i am but a humble clam merely seeking to help others when i can with the byproducts of my own clownland buttopia of a life. totes glad to help/be a proteger (or whatever the -er form of protegeé is?????? how i do the engerlish).  i am sure u will be leading others as a Grand Shrublord urself one of these days

ok development of the day is that i have investigated and she's bi so im going to see if she wants to go out just once and then go from there

nice whatever way it goes just remember that should it come to the worst its always Experience Points to channel into wooing the next swoonmaker a bit better. if it goes well then its a Good Time had by all so its win-win at the end of the day.

IN ANY CASE i think whatever happens it'll go fine. so do let us know how it goes, good luck

fake edit: ok i saw ur post in the Everyday Accomplisments thread!!!! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ultra congrats!!!!!!!! where u planning to go to?????????????

[SirBlaziken]

Congrats Alice. Hope everything goes well.

[The Shrub Dragon]

lol 2nd development is that she wasn't sure if i meant it like a date and is it ok if we go as friends and she's sorry to lead me to think something else im a little bit heartbroken but it's ok i made my rejection playlist yesterday

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

lol 2nd development is that she wasn't sure if i meant it like a date and is it ok if we go as friends and she's sorry to lead me to think something else im a little bit heartbroken but it's ok i made my rejection playlist yesterday

sucks to hear. //hugs// its prolly a good sign that she's at least being Honest with you about it this early in. see how it plays out.

as a casually optimistic pessimist i reckon if it coasts up into something after friends then thats Unexpected and Good and if it sorta stays at Friends Level for whatever reason and its not quite reciprocal, then thats ok too, you'll get past it and there is deffo more Awkward Crushes comin down the line in due time, believe me.

[SirBlaziken]

^Couldn't have said it better myself.

Wow, right as I come to share my congrats with you, the situation is changed. >.>

[The Shrub Dragon]

yeah those r my hopes i cycle through crushes faster than i blink i think there was this one time i ended up w a crush on a girl i was in a show with n then upon finding out she had a boyfriend i got hopelessly drunk at her afterparty and walked past him n said 'ur a boy and i don't know you.' and as i headed into her living room i just heard her quietly going 'shes drunk. shes drunk. dont worry.  shes drunk.'  and i use that as a model for a crush that i will never be able to respond to as badly as that.


but yeah i hope at the very least i make friend status when we have coffee n i guess it means i also don't have to pay which is a +

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

yeah those r my hopes i cycle through crushes faster than i blink i think there was this one time i ended up w a crush on a girl i was in a show with n then upon finding out she had a boyfriend i got hopelessly drunk at her afterparty and walked past him n said 'ur a boy and i don't know you.' and as i headed into her living room i just heard her quietly going 'shes drunk. shes drunk. dont worry.  shes drunk.'  and i use that as a model for a crush that i will never be able to respond to as badly as that.

holey moley ok i literally irl lolled and clapped my hands w/ glee and then wrote way too much for my own good elsewhere on the forum and came back and am still lollin occasionally @ it so i hope u know this is the best drunk crushstory ever. its perf. (mine are all boring and Sad or Weird n Unfunny Embarassing Internet Drama. i didn't get to have a literal Broad City moment w/ mine booooo)

but yeah i hope at the very least i make friend status when we have coffee n i guess it means i also don't have to pay which is a +

this is true, its win/win either way! if nothing else u get another Life Event that u made by doing a Brave which is more than can be said for parallel universe you where you didn't pop the question, who is sittin around being all "what if??? what if???? ohhhhhhh".


if nothing happens then at least maybe she has some cute inner circle friends u could crush on

[SirBlaziken]

^Isn't that how it usually goes?

Like Beth said, it's a win win for you. At least you asked and it's better than sitting in limbo the entire time. Who knows, there may be some inner circle friends for you to crush or maybe you'll end up changing her mind eventually