101 things not to ask a retail assisstant...

[Wrath of Zuruggu]

Genuine questions you have been asked/ have asked yourself/ have heard other people ask/ just plain stupid things people have said.

101) Does this lift go up AND down?

100) *In front of fish tanks* Q:"Do you have any glass-sucking fish? Where are they?" A:"In the fishtank."

[Lord Raven]

I worked at my dad's restaurant;

"Is your food taxed?" "Yes." "But food isn't taxed..."

Prepared food is taxed smh, this isnt a grocery store

[Clairefable]

Basically anything anyone has ever said ever. Seriously there should be some kind of retail national service so that everyone gets to experience how ignorant and stupid everyone else is and maybe they'll engage their brain before speaking.

Like people who ask for fish EVERY Wednesday when fish are off sale, it's signed up all over the fish tanks that FISH ARE OFF SALE, and yes that does include THAT goldfish that you've decided that your comatose child in the pram who probably doesn't know what a fish is has set their heart on, and I'm sorry that you've come all the way from Dunoon which is a whole 20 minutes across the river on the ferry but FISH ARE OFF SALE. And guinea pigs are not puppies, because they are not dogs, they are guinea pigs.

[That Girl in the 'Roo Suit]

Over 18s venue buying a drink..

"Why do I have to give you my ID? I don't have it on me"

...Wut.

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

uuuuuuuuuuuuUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the ID people !!!!!!!!!!!!! so many of them who don't get v basic concepts about law and police test purchases

"do you want to see my tattoo"

no i don't want to see a tattoo if your tattoo has a holographic PASS logo then Great!!!! if not then sod off

"IM NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN" they yell b/c of  ☠☠☠THE TYRANNY OF THE EVIL BARPERSON/SHOPKEEP☠☠☠ yes im sure we're really going to go broke b/c of missing out on a one-time-customer purchase less than £7 lets be honest you were only gonna "shop here again" if we were stupid enough to fall for it

like come on the babyface was a iffy point but the alcopops and the parent's credit card is a dead giveaway   










sorry i really went on about it a bit there //pours myself a generous scotch//
but yeah like claire said everyone should try retail At Least Once in a less successful/supportive shop than the magical fairyland ones you see in the videos because maybe it'd make people appreciate good manners more and the ones who do work retail wouldn't have alcohol habits


i dunno if OP realised the can of worms they were opening when "annoying things people say" and "retail" are put next to each other

[NTN]

"On the front door it says free Wi-Fi. Does that mean I get a free Wii?"

[Richard and Blaziken]

"Where's the x?"

"Aisle one"

Every. Damn. Time. I'm dead serious, the amount of times people ask me where things are and they're in THE FIRST AISLE OF THE STORE is baffling to me. It happens much more than any other aisle. Do people assume that the first aisle is employees only? That it's empty? Are they scared of a monster I can't see? D:

[Lord Raven]

It all depends on how the store is structured, some stores make you walk in the middle or something (because the aisles are facing towards you as opposed to perpendicular to you) and you have a bunch of aisles on both sides.  My local Giant is like that...

EDIT:  Giant is a grocery store chain in Maryland, should probably point that out considering I only just learned that every state has a different chain of grocery stores lol

[Richard and Blaziken]

It all depends on how the store is structured, some stores make you walk in the middle or something (because the aisles are facing towards you as opposed to perpendicular to you) and you have a bunch of aisles on both sides.  My local Giant is like that...

EDIT:  Giant is a grocery store chain in Maryland, should probably point that out considering I only just learned that every state has a different chain of grocery stores lol

See, I could understand if that was the case, but it's really not for the store I work in. Aisle 1 is the first and easiest aisle to get to from the store entrance, so... *shrugs*

[f3raligatr]

From my own experiences of working in a pub;

"Can I have a receipt with that?"
Nothing at all wrong with that, but you've spent £2.64 on a pint of lager and you want a receipt? So you can claim all of 44p back? You're pissed as a fart anyway, you'll only put it in your wallet and mistake it for a £5 note in the taxi on your way home.

"Why are you asking me for ID?"
Tends to be at either 18th or 21st parties, usually to anybody who looks like they were born yesterday, or anybody in a vest, not that I'm prejudiced or anything. It's usually the vests who answer back with "well I haven't got any anyway" and then wonder why I refuse to serve them, accusing me of being a dick. And no, propositioning me isn't going to work either, I don't know where your mouth has been.

"Why haven't you got <insertdrink>, I only drink <insertdrink>"
Do you really want me to divulge you into the wonderful world of owning a pub (well, my dad does) and not depending on a brewery, the negotiations between suppliers and ourselves, the fact that nobody else drinks your poison and that we're not stocking it because of that alone.. or would you rather pick something else to drink, moan about it and avoid eye contact with me for the rest of the night as if I've spat in your drink, slept with your mother and not called her back?

And any form of "I was here first, did you not notice me, how stupid are you?", when I'm trying my hardest to get through the crowd of people that all turned up at once.

Oh, and people who order one bloody drink at a time as though I'm slow. Tell me your full order so I can get it all done in the quickest amount of time so I can get other people served, don't wait for me to serve each individual drink before telling me the next. If I forget one drink, I'm sure you'll tell me and make sure I'm aware of my failings.

I'm aware I might have tailed off a little bit there..

From what I overheard whilst in the EE store on Saturday getting a friend's phone sorted out;

"Why can't I connect to the Apple store, I've got my internet sorted and everything."
"That's because you've got a Samsung Galaxy, sir"
"So? Why can't I connect to the Apple store?"

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

"can you have a bit more of a harder look in the back? are you sure you're not keeping any behind"

its out of stock in the entire area why do you think you were able to argue the toss for  a turkey at 8pm on christmas eve in a convenience store like "yase i was lying u saw thru my deciet her is one just for you are self" i say as i magically pull one out of my arse apparently



"its consumer law you've GOT to sell me it at that price!!! TRADING STANDARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!  SALES OF GOOD ACT!!!!!!!!!! (<--- usually invoked wrongly half the time) ILL CONTACT MY LOCAL OMBUDSMAN!!! I DID A DEGREE IN BUSINESS YOU KNOW!"

no u nerd, stuff (in the uk at least) is on a invitation to treat basis which means the price is what we're willing to take for it and doesn't constitute a binding contract for price w/ you until you hand over the cash and the offer is made
we give it to you for the lower price if the wrong label is out as a gesture of Customer Goodwill (obvs i was never stupid enough to say all of this to a customer and instead did the whole 'THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER SIR' instead As You Do but still its nifty trivia to know)


"the customer is always right!!!"

the dude who popularised that saying (harry selfridge) died penniless in a tiny flat after wasting all his money hth

[quack98]

"can you have a bit more of a harder look in the back? are you sure you're not keeping any behind"

I always assumed by 'look in the back' people mean 'get an electronic thing with stock numbers on and enter the item', so I'm just glad I'm not that idiot!


Anyway, I overheard this in an airports currency exchange:

Customer: I googled the exchange rate! It's much better than what your selling me!

Employee: I'm very sorry, but we set our exchange rates at a rate that provides us with acceptable profit.

(I couldn't make out the customers reply, I was just walking past)

Are people really waiting till they arrive at the airport and expecting a good exchange rate?

[Clairefable]

Over 18s venue buying a drink..

"Why do I have to give you my ID? I don't have it on me"

...Wut.

THIRDING THIS

Well, not for drink, but for gambling.

My favourite part was when they were like "I'M IN HERE ALL THE TIME" and I'm like "naw, I'M in here all the time so ID or gtfo"

And the idiots that'd insist on bringing children in which is ALL KINDS OF ILLEGAL and would argue and argue about it and eventually relent screeching about how they were GOING TO PADDY POWER NEXT door and we'd all go and stand at the door and watch them get turfed out and laugh.

[Sebastian Moran]

luckily ive only had a limited experience of working with the public... however it was in a ticket pickup office (i say office haha, it was a portacabin and it was from 6am when it was really bloody cold... the cabin next to us with the ticket purchases had heating as well mumble grumble). 
 
so we had our fair share of "im picking up £150 worth of purchased tickets under this name... no, i dont have any ID on me" which was always fun. 
although if they got too pissed off i quickly learned to just go and get my supervisor so that she could shout back at people instead haragrahaha. 
 
the most annoying part was that these the people whose tickets we couldnt post in time... and theyd been on the phones to whoever worked in the call centre complaining about it. said call centre people just wanted to get off the line with the annoyed people as quickly as they could, and would say things like "oh yeah just bring the credit card that should be fine." 
which meant that when those people turned up to pick up their tickets... they didnt have any photo ID like what we were told was the only thing we could accept. credit card was no bloody use because we didnt have any of their card info or anything. 
so instead of the people in the call centre being yelled at over the phones... we got yelled at on their behalf, face to face, for stuff that theyd done... thanks for that! 
man they got paid more than we did as well, idk how that works. 
rolls around on the floor 
 
so glad i havent had more experience with that and have managed to stick to stuff that involves Not Having To Deal With The Public. 
or at least not having to provide the public with stuff, i cleaned toilets on a campsite for a bit and mostly encountered people too drunk to talk because it was the night shift. 
favourite bit of that is still these rat-arsed italian guys in deckchairs by the hand dryers asking me to take their photograph. 
 

[Milsap]

"Why are you asking me for ID?"
Tends to be at either 18th or 21st parties, usually to anybody who looks like they were born yesterday, or anybody in a vest, not that I'm prejudiced or anything. It's usually the vests who answer back with "well I haven't got any anyway" and then wonder why I refuse to serve them, accusing me of being a dick. And no, propositioning me isn't going to work either, I don't know where your mouth has been.

Challenge 21/25. I don't understand why people get worked up about this. The bar/pub/store does it to protect themselves. My fiancee is 22 and looks 19. I'm 22 and look closer to 30. Stops people who are older than they actually are (17 year olds looking 19) illegally purchasing alcohol. If the place is found out there are fines/criminal records flying around.

I was in a Subway in King's Lynn a few years ago and they asked the woman in front of me "Would you like to try peppered cheese for an extra 20p?" the woman had a blank look about her and then went "Peppered cheese? Whassat?"