Topic: Laura Vencent

[Variety Trainer]

Character name: Laura Vencent 

Age: 11

Gender: girl

Description: Laura is a thin short girl. She usually wears a light blue short-sleeve shirt and also wears jeans with black boots. Laura's has long black wavey hair that is combed straight down.Her skin color is apricot.

History: When Laura was little she remembered the first time her parents brought to a pokemon competition. The pokemon battles were awesome and especially the one with Swampert against Bayleef. She wanted to be as strong as the Bayleef and Swampert. So, she told her parents and her parents sent Laura to pokemon school. Laura studied her notes from school every night and at least got a 85% on her tests. Now, school is over and Laura was about go on her adventure as a pokemon trainer. But she needed a pokemon. So her sister gave her a Squirtle. She lives in Viridian City and is on her way to Pewter City to train her pokemon.

Friends and enemies: None

Item: None


Pokémon:



Squirtle

Gender-male

Level-5

Moveset-

Bubble

---------

---------

---------

[Joeno]

You're close, but I'd like you to take care of a few things first:

* Be consistent in the spaces after your punctuation marks. There should always be a space after a comma, period and colon.
* There's a sudden newline in the middle of a sentence in your history.
* "Laura's".
* There's a few odd sentences in your history sentence. Please reread it and make a few updates. This might also be a good time to expand on it a bit - for example, where did Laura get that Squirtle? Why did she want to be a Pokemon trainer? Things like that
* It is preferred if you'd add a moveset for the Squirtle.

[Variety Trainer]

I modified it.Is it okay?

[Joeno]

You've been approved and can access the relevant forums. Have fun posting!