Please respect new people - everyone's new at one point!
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You know, I once had the record for most time spent online, so you should respect me you young whippersnapper. Phew, those were tense times indeed, that crazy goth girl lesbian called Psychopathy or whatever was always hot on my heels, trying to beat my record. I had to stop though, because she started sending letter bombs and, well, things just got unpleasant and there was a legal battle and, well, that's all in the past anyway. Plus the electricity bills were huge.