Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Lightshock16]

granted, but now you are banned from this topic.

I wish to become a Super Saiyan.

[Sizacu]

... I didn't wish? Close enough. x333

Granted, but Goku will somehow kill you o_o'


I wish I wasn't so tired.

[Sho Minamimoto]

Granted, but your are never able to sleep again, so therefore, in a week, you shall die!

I wish for... a Valentine.

[SilverFlame]

Granted, but the valentine in question will spontaneously burst into flames!

I wish my brother wasn't a stupid sack o' lumps!

[Awkward Squirtle]

Granted, but you will feel very far inferior to him, and then you'll get depressed

I wish I could do what Neo from the Matrix does.

[Sho Minamimoto]

Granted, but then you learn it was a stuntman who did it, so you can't. ^^

I wish I had copy rights to Star Wars.

[SilverFlame]

Granted, but you'll die 3 days later.

I wish Jirachi was real!

[Sho Minamimoto]

Granted, but the mafia gets their hands on it first, and the wish that they ruled the world!

I wish I could time travel.

[Alexi: Crazier by the Day]

Granted, but you get stuck in the time of the dinosaurs and get eaten.

I wish people would stop killing my rose.

[Sho Minamimoto]

Granted, but you forget to water it, and it dies.

I wish gravity didn;t exsist, nor was space a vaccuum.

[Awkward Squirtle]

Granted, but you go too close to the sun and get burned-like Oedipus...kinda...

Fine, I wish i could do what Neo from the Matrix does in REAL LIFE!!! ie it's real and there's nothing you can do about it.

[Moon Chaser]

Granted, but it will take effect in 1million years.

I wish it would rain every day.

[MOP]

Granted but it rains up until all the water is gone.

I wish wasn't so amazingly attractive so women would stop crowding me. 

[SilverFlame]

Granted, but you'll look like this;

Poor dude...

I wish I could control the weather and breath underwater without being stuck underwater or any other flaws!

[Avian]

Granted, but you forget about your weather abilities and strike yourself with lightning!

I wish Spheal would be positively recognized by the public more often.