what's saddening you right now?

[SaRo|Rapidash]

e
you know you can skip the whole existentialist nihilism i.e. "theres nothing in life therefore im not going to try because there is no point" (i personally think existentialist nihilism is kinda tiresome, lazy and melodramatic but thats just me) bit by trying to develop, or at least consider more sorta "zen buddhist" values about it all, in which you realise yes the world is a load of strife and you just die and thats it and everything is temporary and nothing is permenant

but you straight up go "well you know what, its all crap but ive still got the free will in this """crap world""" to buck this idiotic Nothing system by going against it and doing nice things and making a Thing of it with the time i have on this earth"
i.e. aiming to do random selflessly nice things just because, mindfulness meditating a lot to clear your mind of bad thoughts about the world (meditating is just practising the 'go away, bad thoughts' mental muscle)

im making it sound really dorky but i hope you understand what im getting at here



i could go on but if this sort of thing is really bugging you on a regular basis (beyond the usual teenage angst stuff)  then you can perhaps check out a few sorta pop books about it, like Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner, a former punk turned buddhist (although i haven't had a chance to read it yet so i can't wholeheartedly reccommend it, ymmv) but doing a little lazy research into buddhism may be a thing for you


like i may be overreading and typing a load of junk to what is essentially just a Bad Night or whatever but death is my favourite thing, go figure

I think you slightly misunderstood what I meant: It was less "Life's crap so I'm not doing anything with it" and more "Life's too short, death is looming at any time nd at that point you may as well have never existed." which leads me to want to do more to at least remain in memory.

Still, that aside I guess everyhing you said is still relevant, and I'll definitely have a look into it

Now I'm not gonna sleep either. Thanks, Dick.


Thing is that it would all be pointless if there was nothing after death so by reasoning, there has to be. My problem is that science can't prove anything about it, it's a find out when you get there sorta thing. Is there life after death? is the same sort of question as will the buffet have cocktail sausages?

So I resolved to focus on the now. This is actually, I have realised, what makes me so bad at planning things: if I look to the future I just end up pondering the meaning of life (42) so I have to force myself to think about right now.

The whole lack of proof thing is what makes me feel like it'd be deluding myself to whole-heartedly believe in afterlife, and focusing on now just feels like procrastinating the fear =/

(and sorry I made youthink abojt it <3)

Man, I used to be scared of death as well, to the point where I was reduced to tears. It doesn't bother me as much, but I'm still afraid, after all its only natural. But, I think that's just because we're young. I hope that by the time I'm an old man, I would've achieved everything that I really wanted to in life and that I would be happy to let death take me, because that's about as much as I can ask for. All you can do is live life to its fullest and hope that the end comes at an appropriate time.

It's scary but ultimately, there's nothing you can do about it so there's not much sense in worrying about it. The best you can hope to do is to delay the inevitable and enjoy the moment while you can. I suppose in this new Godless world, such thoughts are common. Hopefully, some of this has made some sense at least. Don't stay up too late on it, sleep is healthy.

I think the inevitability is the worst part, but you're right, dwelling on it is pointless, but before I go to zleep and my head is devoid of thought the thoughts of it slip in and they're kinda hard to get rid off =/

[Hahex and Oshawott]

look at all these deep 12 year olds

aww now i'm sad

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

I think you slightly misunderstood what I meant: It was less "Life's crap so I'm not doing anything with it" and more "Life's too short, death is looming at any time nd at that point you may as well have never existed." which leads me to want to do more to at least remain in memory.

Still, that aside I guess everyhing you said is still relevant, and I'll definitely have a look into it

i was being tongue-in-cheek melodramatic but a "lifes too short" mindset can segue into the whole "theres no point in nuffink ever" mindset if left unchecked, hence my whole "u can skip that step" thing i prefaced it w/ lmao


but yeah even i still shy away from new-agey crystal healing homeopathy crap and was an idiot to lump meditation in with that lot because for anxiety stuff it really does help out
well, that and hatha yoga but dont start me on anxiety toolboxes cos a) i'll never stop and b) everyones anxiety toolbox is different

[Inferna]

No idea what I even want to anymore. I wish I could just curl up into a ball and sleep.
I hate my course right now, 80% of the people are idiots bar my friends. I want to change to a different course but I'd feel like a failure then because I've wasted two years of my life pissing about drawing pictures. I'm not gonna get in anywhere so I may as well quit while I'm ahead.
It's funny because when I left school I thought 'art yeah woo this will be fun' it's not anymore which is what I was scared of. Then what if I change and its a huge mistake?
I should have just done the hnc education course, least then I'd have been qualified this June to actually work or go onto a degree. Ugh I just have no idea where my life is going rn
Think I'm just gonna sit on the dole tbh

[Kerou 犠牲]

^ Don't worry, I've wasted five and you've got plenty of time to change, develop new skills and do something in a better atmosphere than you can still enjoy

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 I've got a contract on my phone and a bad throat. I'm sure that I can pay for this contract, it's not very expensive at all, it's just that little voice at the back of my head asking what if I can't pay it for some reason? It's more curiosity, to be honest. I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to pay it. I guess it's just what happens when you start your first contract.

Then my throat has decided that it would be a laugh to start hurting, and I think it's getting worse. How do you decide when to stay off college though? I want to take tomorrow off and go to the doctors and rest up with my medication before I absolutely need to take time off. I just feel bad about staying off, you know?

I suppose... if I do stay off, I can pop into the shop after the doctors and pick up a Mixel thing... take my mind of my throat.

[Wolstenholme]

One of my best friends is sleeping rough tonight because he thought that one of his friends was gonna let him stop at his but he forgot to check to had had nowhere to go. He had one percent battery left on his phone and he tried to ring his Mum but she didn't pick up, it's too late for buses and it's too far to walk to his house so he's having to sleep on a park bench. I can't help him because I live half an hour away but I wish I could

[SirBlaziken]

One of my best friends is sleeping rough tonight because he thought that one of his friends was gonna let him stop at his but he forgot to check to had had nowhere to go. He had one percent battery left on his phone and he tried to ring his Mum but she didn't pick up, it's too late for buses and it's too far to walk to his house so he's having to sleep on a park bench. I can't help him because I live half an hour away but I wish I could

Damn, that's terrible luck on his part. I hope everything goes well, exempting having to sleep on the park bench, which is bad in its own right.

[Kerou 犠牲]

Just gonna drink myself to sleep

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 Well.. tonight was pretty crap. I've been going out with this group for a few weeks now, for maybe a month. Anyway, the group is actually crap and I'm tired of them all. Spent tonight having to occupy myself because everyone went off and left me and two of my friends. It was genuinely crap.

It's sad though, you know when everything starts and its all happy and flowery and you look forward to the next outing? It was like that. I used to be so hyped to go out again and see the girls, because they're a laugh, but now.. now it's just me going out in case something interesting happens.

Me and my friend were talking about how bad it's been lately and I think we're just going to go out and buy ourselves a takeaway the next time that the night is that bad.

[Milsap]

That the blind downhill skiing at the Winter Paralympics doesn't actually involve the guide dogs.

[The Shrub Dragon]

i
i just
i've been freaking out over my former friends all week
like i'm terrified that everything that happened with them will happen with my friends now
realistically i know it's because the other two weren't nice at all
but like
when i was told for a year straight that it was because i was too sensitive sometimes i feel like that you know?
i mean i know that them calling me the r-word consistently and pushing me out was on them but it's like, i would call them out on the r-word thing and get the whole '*eye roll* it was a JOKE!!' thing like thanks bud but it being a joke doesn't really make me forget that i'm dyspraxic or make me stammer any less and i'm working things out and i guess it's just all scaring me a bit
because like, i've been making an effort to not fall into any traps like i did with them and i've just realised that it wasn't all on me and that these friends won't do that but it's still scary


it's just a lot for me to take in and sort through i guess

[sylar]

my friend left our rp group even though he was one of the active rpers and now were just sitting here with like 3 active people in the group and i wanna cry bc its my first group of non abusive friends in a long time and theyre all just disbanding lmao

were trying to work around it but its so hard

[Sizacu]

... The video game special ended. :c

[SaRo|Rapidash]

Saw these, and thought they were the deposit price, being around £200 which I probably could have got for my birthday, then realise they were $1100, which works put at like £700, so I'll have to wait till Im 16 to get a job at the local Sainsburys and save for like 2-3 months =/

Blurgh.