what's saddening you right now?

[Inferna]

psh i knew that /shifty
i just -- where did the time go? plus loads of awesome people left. like suicunerider. and BY. i don't know they might still be here i just /flails loudly
ahaha dragons dragons everywhere
i have lots of silvers now. this is goooood.
i mean i'm 20 in november and I CAN'T EFFN
hey inferna
remember that time i said i was going to dornoch and you were like omg i live near there
and we met and we just sort of
sat at a table
and didn't talk
at all
awkward /turtle noises

omg yes that was very awkward
it was so stilted aha. I think our parents done most of the talking?
'we've talked so much online and have so much to say! now irl? ....'
Good times. I remember you phoned me and I was like ahhh this is actually happening

Ahh what did I start *hides*

[Sebastian Moran]

haha the same thing happened to me and webby, except... with talking about lighthouses and severed heads in casserole dishes awkwardly for two hours. 
gr8 
 

[Webby]

The lightbulbs are still watching me. And I haven't been in House of Fraser ever since. WHERE DID OUR LIVES GO!?

[sylar]

sits quietly remembering #sherrin and #ayla

[Sebastian Moran]

somebody knocked on my door with flowers!!! 
but apparently they had the wrong address ): 
he just looked at me with an expression that said "youre not someones mum".   
i call discrimination. 
 

[Inferna]

So yeah I'm going on anti depressants next week and have been referred for some sort of cbt type thing which will take a month to get seen for. Fun. I don't think I can deal with not telling my friends much longer but I don't want them to think differently of me :/ it feels like I've been going through the motions the past while. Ugh. Yes I realise I'm telling online people but its much easier than telling people face to face.
My mum knows and she's great to talk to about it because she's been through it herself but besides her I've not told anyone.
I wish I could just wake up and this feeling would be gone.

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 The university course I want to do has set it's deadline for 4 days.

I have to finish my UCAS and do a personal statement, along with sending it.

I'm not even sure if I can get it done on time.

Slightly scared too, it's what I've been edged towards doing, then again, it's not the end of the world if I can't get in and I'll just have to find a job or do another year in college until I can apply again, I've even had some ideas on what I want to do in the year off.

Then again I could always have a gap year and work on my drawing, get it into a portfolio over the year, start a small dog walking business that will help get some money in and help towards gym costs if I keep going.

[MOP]

Everything at work is beginning to pile up but I'm not allowed any time to actually do all the extra stuff they give me on top of my normal work. I can't even do it on the weekend since I work every weekend and the one day a week I have off is spent getting ready for next week! Doesn't help that a lot of my paperwork was originally someone else's and has been given to me this week when the deadline is next week and some place in Brighton is going to fine us about £750. People with months to sort this out have just dropped it on me and made me responsible a week before the deadline! Now I've got a Saturday night to work so that's another 14-15 hours, plus a couple of hours travel time gone.  :/
I haven't been this stressed since I was at uni, any work as horrible as university is quite an achievement. :[

Sorry...rant over.

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 I don't think I'll get my application done in time for uni....

I've come to the decision that I would like to do a 1 year course in brick laying though... it's like LEGO but bigger? The only thing is, from the people who I've seen doing bricklaying, they seem to be really.... I dunno.... people I don't like.

Gap year playing with big LEGO? Yes please.

[Jedim]

I had another fight with my mom yesterday evening and Ive been holing up in my room since I woke up about 3 hours ago because I'm scared to go downstairs and be around her. :''')
It's kicking up a lot of anxiety in general, I'm even scared to post around like here on the forums cus I'm worried I'm annoying everyone. I'm tRYING not to let it get to me but I've chickened out of a lot of replies because of it and now I'm feeling bad about mentioning itttttt

[Webby]

Last night I was told I've been described as "forgettable" by someone we're going to Ireland with. And I'm apparently sharing a room with the only guy I don't know. This trip is looking less exciting everyday.

I just want to be at home. I'm fed up of feeling unwanted. I'm not going home for another month though.

Just found out I need 2 forms of photo ID for the ISTO socials. I only have my passport. I gotta hope they'll accept my SID, rail card or birth certificate :/

[sylar]

my sister had breast cancer and didnt tell me or my other sister or my mum

she told my dad and my dad didnt think to tell my mum or me or my sister

nobody told us?? and just
what if shed died? shes ok now but wow what if shed died how would we get that news
'so uh samantha sure did have breast cancer and went in for surgery but uh didnt make it haha happy easter!!!!'

my familys so broken lol im so miserable

[Kpyna]

my boyfriend left today, he's moving to north carolina :< hardest goodbye of my life

[Inferna]

Sick of having no friends that give a damn. I give them advice and support when they need it but when i do? Nope. Somehow i've forced myself to talk to people at college just to avoid being lonely yet i still shut myself away when talking becomes too much. They're friends i guess but then you have that horrible feeling that it's all a joke and they actually hate you
the only one i vent to is my bff but i feel guilty because i hardly see her and if i go to uni we'll drift even more. I'm surrounded by people but i feel lonely.
Why am i such a failure socially hah

[Pam-the-Lamb]

 Well, after the Easter holiday ends we don't have long until college finishes.

I probably won't see any of my college friends again since I'm staying bck to do another two years of A levels.

I'm going to be in classes with people I don't know again, that's scary.

The fact that I'll be 19 next year is scary by itself.

When I leave for uni I'll be 20 and I hope I'll get in, might even rent a place with someone.


To be honest, I miss being a kid, all I had to worry about was getting my maths homework and we wouldn't have to worry about money or health or anything. Now I have to worry about coursework that I haven't done, the fact that my legs usually seem to hurt and the fact that I'm slowly becoming skint.


The past has a lovely happy feel to it, then again right now, the future is feeling the same.