Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Hicky]

Granted, but because Doctor Who is the dominant TV program there is no news. Upon not hearing news of a political nature, the population is turned to anarchy.

I wish I lived in Ancient Rome.

[thatskinnyidiot™]

Granted, you have a lovely apartment in Pompeii. =]

I wish that some of them knew they were robots.

[Hicky]

Granted, but a scientific fallacy is formed and a black hole appeared.

I wish for a new Pokémon.

[Webby2]

Granted, but it's a Magikarp which doesn't even have Splash.

I wish for a new house.

[Hicky]

Granted, but it has too much trees and you can't put any furniture down.

I wish I was a vampire

[Shaymin]

Granted, but in sunlight you sparkle, making a mob come after you.

I wish I had a swimming pool...

[Hicky]

Granted, but it's a swimming pool of lava that only Heatran can swin in.

I wish for eternal happiness.

[Webby2]

Granted, but you won't be eternal, and will die in a couple of days.

I wish I had a record contract.

[Hicky]

Granted, but it's a record contract for an a capella label and everybody in the whole world hates you, spiraling you into depression.

I wish for several balloons.

[Arcanine ;; death rides a black horse]

Granted, but they pop near your ears rendering you permantly deaf.

I wish for a horse.

[Hicky]

Granted, but it runs away almost instantly and you chase it, landing you in a weird crop circle.

I wish for chocolate that would not contribute to my weight.

[Arcanine ;; death rides a black horse]

Granted, but your feet turn chocolatey.

I wish for enough drive to actually write a book.

[Spinda]

Granted, but you write a book that's sexually explicit.

I wish for Slumdog Millionaire on DVD.

[Webby2]

Granted, but it only plays the credits.

I wish for a Kleenex used by Dr Dre.

[lit R.I.P PUK]

Granted, but it jumps, and every verb is censored.

I wish for a taco. D;

POSTSNIPED

Granted, but it explodes at any impact.