Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[PokeSurfer]

Granted, but your body explodes under the amazingness.

I wish I will never be postsniped ever again in my life.

[Hicky]

Granted, but you get SNIPED by an Octillery.

I wish I had the energy to be a Duracell battery.

[~Evanscence~]

Granted, but you get fired and have to take the job as the Energizer Bunny.

I wish I could talk to animals.

[Hicky]

Granted, but you can't talk to porcupines, so the porcupines feel as if you are alienating them and kick you repeatedly.

I wish I was currently expressing every single emotion expressed by the emoticons in the bar above me.

[MOP]

Granted but expressing them all at once makes your face pop off.

I wish I had completely invisible arms of sneakiness.

[Rorak Kuroda]

Granted, but they also grow 200 times in size and you cannot see where you swing them.

I wish that world hunger would end.

[serperior]

Granted, but your cafe will go out of buisness

I wish my Milotic would just get to level 70 already!

[Toshiku Yumari]

Granted, but then your game explodes, and no more Milotic.


I wish I could work in my book, and do all of the other crap I'm working on, all at once.

[~Evanscence~]

Granted, but in the haste of doing everything, you forget to breathe and then die.

I wish I was a successful writer.

[Rorak Kuroda]

Granted, but your cafe will go out of buisness

No! Not my cafe!

Granted, but your crazed fans find you, rip all of your hair out, and rob your house.

I wish that it rained purple platypi.

[master1]

Granted. The velocity caused by them falling from so high would mean that they kill everyone they land on. About three-quarters of the human population is wiped out by the platypi rain.

I wish I could stretch like Mr. Fantastic. :B

[MOP]

Granted but every time you stretch something shrinks to counter it.

I wish I could have a girlfriend who wouldn't pick me up and drop me on my head. 

[serperior]

Granted, but your new girlfriend lives 5000000 miles away.

I wish you could battle gym leaders more than once a day on Platinum.

[MOP]

Granted but you have to battle them constantly instead and never have a chance to save.

I wish I didn't have wet hair.

[OpalRhea]

Granted, but your hair spontaniously combusts, roasting your brain to a crisp, and killing you instanty.


Have a nice day!

I  wish I could throw all the homophobics into the pit of despair and demise... Without entering it myself.