Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Moon Chaser]

You don't say I wish so it doesn't work.

I wish I had a pizza

[MOP]

Granted, but when you eat it I will parade starving children in front of you so you feel really guilty.

I wish Gordon Brown, Nick Clegg and David Cameron had a threesome, then Labour would also be part of the coalition government. 

[MOP]

Granted but it has minimum IVs (whatever that means).

I wish I wasn't forbidden to use my mighty immortal super powers.

[AlphaBetaDelta]

Goddamn, 1 in EVERY stat?

Granted, but your might immortal super power is to make your penis shrink.

I wish for a BOLD FEEBAS WITH 70 HP GRASS MAX IVS

[Buttons The Plural™]

granted but it can only learn splash.

I wish my paints didn't keep drying out!

[AlphaBetaDelta]

Granted, but the paint isn't a colloid anymore and hence unusable.

I wish for a BOLD FEEBAS WITH 70 HP GRASS MAX IVS AND CAN LEARN SURF, ICE BEAM, HP, AND RECOVER

[MOP]

Granted but it has an Everstone and refuses to let go.

I wish for true love. 


*

I wish my paints didn't keep drying out!

I misread that as pants.

Granted, but your mighty immortal super power is to make your penis shrink.

Yay!
*

[Hahex and Oshawott]

granted but your new partner insists on doing absolutely everything together with you (including toilet breaks, mastubation (with your shrunken penis), swimming, getting changed and watching football))

I wish I had a tasty cake that won't kill me.

[AlphaBetaDelta]

Granted, but it makes you so sick you die. 


I wish for a BOLD FEEBAS WITH 70 HP GRASS MAX IVS AND CAN LEARN SURF, ICE BEAM, HP, AND RECOVER AND CAN EVOLVE

[MOP]

Granted...but you have no pokeballs to catch it.

I wish for a majestic flying pig.

[Hahex and Oshawott]

Granted, but it makes you so sick you die. 

Doesn't that mean the cake is killing me? I specifiicately stated that it wouldn't kill me.

Granted but it flies 100 feet in the air then falls on top of you.
I wish that the result of this wish was something nice and was uncorruptable.

[AlphaBetaDelta]

Granted, but it isnt.
BOLD FEEBAS WITH 70 HP GRASS MAX IVS AND CAN LEARN SURF, ICE BEAM, HP, AND RECOVER AND CAN EVOLVE IN BOX 1 AND MY GAME DOESNT FAIL

[Buttons The Plural™]

granted but your lose your hands and can't play pokemon. Ever again.

I wish i had more money.

[MOP]

Granted but you have to sell a kidney.

I wish cups of tea always tasted perfect.

[Pokemon Isshu Lover 593]

Uhhh, I can't PHAYL this...

*post snipes Buttons*

You just got a penny!!!!!!!

I wish I had some apple pie...