Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[spritey]

Granted, but you had two wishes in that sentence. You can only have one wish. I'll go with pudding then. It gets stolen even before you get to see it.

^ It isn't convoluted.

I wish the person below would not corrupt my wish.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted, but I hit you for not making a wish to not corrupt.

I wish for a sore throat remedy that actually worked that becomes corrupted due to an overly-complicated and/or convoluted method.
Ha.

[spritey]

Granted, but after the remedy becomes corrupted, I fix it by corrupting your wish.

I wish for the person below to be imprisoned in a regular pokeball.

[Skyler and Blazer]

Granted, but you are imprisoned with me. And I just ate a lot of spicy chilly....

I wish I didn't have pimples D:

[ScottishFoldLover]

Granted, you now have chicken pox in the same places instead.

I wish I knew how to play the guitar.

[Skyler and Blazer]

Granted, but you make Peter Griffin's Bunker Bustin' Mega Ultra Super firework and brag about it with the fuse lit. You lose all your fingers and can't play guitar.

I wish I could skip school.

[ScottishFoldLover]

Granted, you skip school and miss important information for your next test.  You end up failing your next test and falling way behind as a result.

I wish my NES would work properly.

[spritey]

Granted, but it only works properly for only 1 second.

I wish for a wish that could not be corrupted.

[Jarl ulfric stormcloak]

Granted, but unfortunately, that's because its pre-corrupted.
Here's your angry crocodile and lion!
I wish that my Sig would happen in real life, but I'm not hurt or damaged because of it.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted, but the bomb next to you isn't quite as unhurt. It explodes. You don't die. Shrapnel lodges itself in you. Still no death. You get infected. You die.

I wish for a minigun that cost any amount less then 400g to fire for 12 seconds.

[Shaymin]

Granted, but you only have one bullet and that's the ONLY bullet they ever produce :c

I wish for a coat like Medic's <3

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted but it's from an actual medic's skin.

I wish I could never have a black eye again.

[Mr.Mewtwo]

Granted,so I painted your eyes green and purple.

I wish I can write some online spam in my next wish.And by spam,I mean sadigasoidfugauyfgaashgb.

[spritey]

Granted, but the writing is invisible.

I wish for...

[Skyler and Blazer]

Granted. 3 Giant dots fall from the sky and crush you. Have fun ^-^

I wish I had good earphones.