Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted. Here is one of every Yugioh Card in existence. By the way, I have a suspicion those are fake since the real game is called Yu-Gi-Oh. Sorry, but you gotta be precise.

I wish for a present.

[kr9q]

Wish granted. It explodes 'cuz it was a bomb.

I wish I had ghost powers.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted. You're dead. But we're all out of powers, sorry.

I wish I had a wish that you couldn't corrupt.

[Moon Chaser]

Granted, but it is only this one it applies to so either way you get nothing.

I wish that my sisters weren't so noisy.

[Gusparce]

Granted. Now they cant talk.

I wish for a blanket.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. But it's literally a wet blanket, you get kicked out of your home and need to use it while soaking wet to keep yourself warm in minus 50 degree F weather, catch pneumonia, and die a horrible death! The end!

I wish Natalie Portman would spontaneously combust!

[♥MotionlessInWhite♥]

Granted... Who the heck is Natalie Portman?! Well, she's dead now so who cares.

I wish (kid in class) would quit staring at me like the stalker that he is!

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. He is now dead and you caused his death!

I wish I had a stop motion video camera!

[IvanWolf♥]

Granted. Now it's the creepy kid from Georgia we all know and hate staring at you all the time, every single day.
Forever.
And Ever. >:3

(DANGIT SNIPED)

Grnted; it makes the whole world slow motion.

I wish something good was on TV D<

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. Now your TV is broken!

I wish I had a cute little squirrel named Mr. Fluffikins!

[♥MotionlessInWhite♥]

Granted. A stray dog just took Mr. Fluffikins in his foamy jaws and ripped him to shreds.
No more Mr.Fluffikins!!! MUAHAHAHA!

I wish I had some pudding...

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. It expired now.

I wish I had a credit card!

[♥MotionlessInWhite♥]

Granted. But too bad the same stray dog ripped it into shreds and ran away.

I wish I had un-expired pudding...

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. Now your allergic to pudding!

I wish I had a cute fluffy lovable little Yorkie named Cuddles!

[Iggy♠]

Granted. Now the same dog that chewed up the credit card and squirrel gave Cuddles rabies and he died.

I wish my cat wasn't an evil demon.