Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Stmacl]

Granted!! You can only wake up at night. It never turns night again!!

I can't really explain what a desu is without going into hardcore otaku terms, so I won't.

I wish I could believe in love after love!!

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You are now a stalker!

I wish for a cute little puppy!

[Stmacl]

Granted!!! It has rabies and is feral!!!

I wish that my cat would leave me alone!!

[Draghost999]

You stole my post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You stole my post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Granted, because it's dead!!!!!!!!!!

I wish everyone would stop posting when I try to post!!!!!!!

Oh, finally! My post isn't stolen. For once.

[Stmacl]

Granted. You decide to create a thread where only you can post.

oh wait did my last wish get granted??

[Draghost999]

Yes it did! Yes it did! But you didn't make a wish, so you're dead!

I wish for a trenchgun.

[Stmacl]

Granted!!! You get a broken hand gun that was found in a trench.

I wish I had an empty bladder!!

[Draghost999]

Granted. You have no bladder. Oh wait...

I wish for a year supply of Mtn Dew.

[Stmacl]

Granted. You receive a year supply of bottles of dew extracted from the leaves of plants on mountains, it isn't sanitized however so you die.

I wish I cared.

[Draghost999]

Who said I'd drink it?

Granted. You only care on opposite day.

I wish for a bow and arrow.

                 
               { /|\
                   /\

[Stmacl]

Granted!!! You perform on a stage and when you finish you bow to the audience!!!

You then take an arrow in the knee!!

I wish the eternal night would end

[Draghost999]

You then take an arrow in the knee!!

Ow!!!!!!!! That hurt!

Granted. the eternal night ends. so does your life.

I wish i cooked you before i ate you. Urp...

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. But you over cooked Stmacl and now must throw the body away as it is too tough to chew. You break TEN teeth trying to taste it....

I wish I had a Jigglypuff that could use Metronome legit!

[Draghost999]

Granted. Jigglypuff can use Metronome...and uses it...on you. It uses the move Rape.

I wish I could see your mommy more often.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. Jigglypuff can use Metronome...and uses it...on you. It uses the move Rape.

And that's supposed to be bad because why????

Granted. You turn into her!

I wish I had a lover!