Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Angelic Lapras King]

You got it, but everything you touch burns.

I wish I was a girl.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but everyone hates you.

I wish he didn't wish to be a girl. ^

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. YOU become a GIRL. You are now Snooki and are ALWAYS plastered and an idiot. Don't get at me. YOU wanted it.

I wish I had a Wii U!

[SirBlaziken]

Granted. But YOU are the Wii (Wii U)

I wish for a taco

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You are now married to a 600 pound fat guy named Taco!

I wish for a new stove!

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but it looks like a lickilicky.

I wish for a stove that looks like blaziken

[Wolstenholme]

Granted but it's fat and doesn't work.

I wish 'this certain person (irl)' would talk to me and we could be friends like we used to be!

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but everyone else hates you.

I wish that my soup would cool faster.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. It becomes frozen solid and can NEVER be thawed out.

I wish I was a sugar addicted green squirrel with a lazy eye! (Points for whoever knows what I'm referencing!)

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but you are run over by a truck carrying carrots.

I wish I was Bug Bunny!

[Reluctant Wailord]

Granted.
You are a bunny made out of bugs, which makes you look so very slightly terrifying.
You are doomed to spend the rest of your days dragging yourself along the floor, croaking "Kill me..." while doing so.

I wish for tree fiddy.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but you get a fiddy tree instead.

I wish for an apple pie

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. It is is the tastiest pie ever to exist. You take one bite and find out the pie is ALSO the most toxic one ever made as well and you drop dead!

I wish I was a green kleptomaniac raccoon wearing a fedora! (Points to whoever gets the reference!)

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but you hate jigglypuffs.

I wish I was a green kleptomaniac raccoon wearing a fedora

[Captain Jigglypuff]

^(You don't know what I'm referencing, do you?)

Granted. You steal a sub to loot a sunken ship for treasure and the sub gets stuck on a volcanic vent and melts the gold you are wearing and you die an EXTREMELY painful death. But on the bright side, you look fabulous in gold!

I wish I was a genius anteater with glasses!