Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

Granted but they're all so nauseatingly polite and Brady Bunch that you want to stab your eyeballs out with forks

also people like me get seriously depressed cos we can't be misanthropic any more

I wish for a fishy on a little dishy when the boat comes in

[Darkwing]

Granted... but you end up in a Housing Insurance themed Go Compare ad campaign.

I wish for the Eclipso diamond.

[Mr.Mewtwo]

Granted,but I ate it during my last hours of being a Giratina.

I wish to know where the name-change forum is.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted, but I really don't know where it is.

I wish I had something evil to do.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted. It then backfires in a horribly cliche way.

I want a sandwich bazooka so I don't have to stop nomming.

[Darkwing]

Granted.. sadly the law of Thermodynamics gets a little skewed, and you end up getting hit by sandwich shaped Fireballs and an Eclipso Giratina.

I wish for the next poster to recieve a Galatea clone of Supergirl.

[MOP]

Granted but she has toxic chest hairs.

I wish the student loans company would provide an alternative means to pay them back. Like being a hit man or something. P:

[Ryan - The Pokeio]

Granted. The hit-man comes and kills you in your sleep.

I wish that Pokemon was real!

[spritey]

Granted, but a Haunter caused you nightmares every night of your life.

I wish I could catch Zekrom.

[SomeoneStoleMyUsername!]

Granted, but then Reshiram comes and kills your whole team.

I wish my music could be played a bit louder.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted, but you still can't hear it.

I wish I could jump off a cliff and fly.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted.
Oh, you wanted to jump off a cliff and fly,not jump off a cliff and A fly... Bit late to tell me now you're dead.

I wish to be harder better, faster and stronger.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted, but it's just my spirit inhabiting yours so you can build me another body.

I wish I was back in my own body.

[lugia95]

Granted, but I had thrown your body into a volcano, so when you go back into it, you fall into lava.

I wish for super-powers.

[Mr.Mewtwo]

Granted,but you already had them.So I took them off.

I wish for the next poster to get a Dream World Poliwag with Flawless IV's and a hidden Super Luck,so it has 2 abilitys.