Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[quack98]

Granted, but they're apple pines...

I wish that I could be Nate's big brother!

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but Chloe is your older sister, and she's very mean.

I wish that da' puff would stop talking in huge text.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. Now I type like this! You have only yourself to blame!

I wish for an unlimited credit card!

[Meowstic Royalty]

Granted, and fighting a Magnemite renders it unusable.

I wish for a pepperoni pizza!

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, on your pizza is pepper and macaroni.

I wish that I had infinite monies!

[Hitmonchu]

Granted, but no store will accept them.

I wish for the power to do anything I want!

[quack98]

Granted, but you can no longer want anything.

I wish for the apocalypse to happen

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, you meet a guy named The Apocalypse.

I wish for a pair of ear plugs.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You get ear plugs and unfortunately for you, they're electric and you get shocked to death as soon as you put them in....

I wish for a nice steak!

[Meowstic Royalty]

Granted, but its a stake and you get stabbed.

I wish for cheese.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but it glues your lips together.

I wish for cheese that isn't rotten, moldy, made of anything nasty, or that does what I used to corrupt the wish.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. It is made of plastic. What? That isn't gross!

I wish for a cheeseburger!

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, you get a burger, made of cheese.

I wish I was a sadist.

[Hitmonchu]

Granted, but you are extremely emotionally unstable and cry uncontrollably  at the slightest disruption.

I wish for a slice of pepperoni pizza.

[NTN]

Granted. You turn into a pepperoni pizza. I slice you in half.

I wish Pokémon was real.