Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Sizacu]

Granted, but it outsmarts you all the time whenever you have arguments.

I wish I had a pet meerkat.

[Webby2]

Granted, but it's incomparable.

I wish the football tonight was at least decent.

[Sizacu]

^ DAMN.

Granted, but the players slip over everywhere.

I wish I was a tropical fish.

[SilverFlame]

Granted, but you will be at the bottom of the food chain.
I wish I had a pizza right now...

[THE ARBITER]

granted but it is one u dont like

i wish you can't corupt my wish

[SilverFlame]

granted, but it won't be granted!

[Torchickens]

granted, but it won't be granted!

You made no wish; this angers the genie because he thinks you forgot about him and he curses you for 8 years 

I wish perhaps Nintendo made some sort of make your own Pokémon contest in generation five and continued it like that, you could use wifi to download them and they would even be included in the next games.

[SilverFlame]

Granted, but within the next year, Pokemon will be illegal to play!
I wish I knew what to wish for.

[Torchickens]

Granted, however that same genie has no sense of imagination and gave you a boring wish idea.

I wish for two wishes

[progartpkmn98]

...but you used your last wish already!

I wish no more wishes were corrupted.

[SilverFlame]

Granted, but no one will ever get to wish again and it will be all your FAULT!

I wish that my grandpa's health probelms will healed soon...

[THE ARBITER]

granted but he has horrible gas an you nose sensitivity is increased by 10000

i wish farts smell worse for other pepole

[SilverFlame]

Granted, but the fumes will burn a hole in the ozone layer.
I wish that the economy will get better...

[Sho Minamimoto]

Granted, but the excess spending comes back to bite everyone in the ass, which plunges the world into a huge depression until we revert to the Stone Age.

I wish that I could have internet access as well as a Mac, or a PC equipted with Windows 7, or Vista.

[SilverFlame]

Watch your mouth!

Granted, but none of them will work.
I wish I had night vision!