Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Skarmory8]

Granted, but you try to use expelliarmus on some pale snakey guy. You break the Law of Underage Magic. You are sent to Azkaban, where a monkey pushes you over repeatedly.

I wish for a wink

[spritey]

Granted, but after that someone gives you an angry look.

I wish for dark chocolate.

[Matty Cahill]

Granted but George Bush won't care about you or your chocolate

I wish for a unicorn =3

[spritey]

Granted, but it tramples you and spears you with its horn.

I wish for a pizza.

[Sizacu]

Granted, but it's in the flavour you hate the most c:

I wish for people to stop corrupting wishes by making the wished-for object kill them etc. etc.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted, but I hit you for spoiling my fun.
Lousy good for nothing... Spoiling my fun by not letting me say "You die."

I wish for a Houndour wearing a fez.

[spritey]

Granted, but the Houndour lunges at you and tears you apart.

I wish for ear plugs.

[ScottishFoldLover]

Granted, but they're too big to fit in your ears.

I wish for some glass cleaner.

[Skyler and Blazer]

Granted. There's glass cleaner all in your house, drowning you.

I wish for a Staraptor with Intimidate!

[ScottishFoldLover]

Granted.  It intimidates you and you run away scared.  It thinks you abandoned it and flies away and you never see it again.

I wish for a piece of carrot cake.

[Sizacu]

Granted, you get carrots. and some cake.

I wish for Bob to take over the world.

[Dracoandy666]

Granted, but in doing so they use up all their energy and combust.

I wish for an ornate uromastyx

[Gusparce]

Granted, its on the top of that mountain. Go get it.

I wish for eternal life.

[Skarmory8]

Granted, but you live for so long that your body decays until you are just a walking rotty corpse. With no girlfriend/ boyfriend.

I wish for a mona lisa

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted. It's made of sheet metal. I hit you over the head repeatedly with it. You die.

I wish for socks made from Meowth skin fur.