Tell a bad joke

[SirBlaziken]

A squirrel and an owl are watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

[BS]

It seems there was this elephant who decided to get a part time job at a bakery* to save up to buy a toilet. When he showed up to the interview the manager asked the elephant what qualifications he had to work a part time job. As the elephant passionately laid out his extensive retail and patisserie experience, the manager interrupted the him curtly exclaiming, "Wait— if you buy a toilet, and flush your business-- what will the poor dung beetles eat?" Just then the elephant straightened his tie and tossed this beauty of a zinger orally into the ether: "They shall eat your finest croissants," the elephant intoned, "And doubtless that they shan't taste the diff."

*you should know that this particular bakery is known for the unusual poor quality of its croissants

[SirBlaziken]

(true story btw)

My french teacher had this really strange pig balloon in her room when my class was in there. So, I turned to my friend and said, "You know, there's something about that balloon that just isn't kosher."

[The name master]

Who was Corperal Punishment?

[BS]

What do you get when you push a drum set over a cliff?

[SirBlaziken]

Yo momma is so fat that she needs to see a doctor because obesity is a huge problem in America today.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

How many Pikachu does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: What are you? Stupid?! Why would a Pikachu need a light bulb if it can make its own light?!

How many Geodude does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just use the Pikachu.

[SirBlaziken]

^Well aren't you proud of yourself?

Why couldn't the dinosaur break through the brick wall?

.....i'm waiting for you to answer here.

[BS]

White people


I'm surprised nobody said this yet tbh

[SirBlaziken]

Al Sharpton still being counted as a Reverend.

Two men met up with each other after not seeing each other in years. The first guy said, "Dude, we should hang." The second guy is like, "Totally!" They were found later at the gallows.

[Petzbreeder]

Dead people are smarter than children. Do you want to know why?

Tell a child to not touch your stuff and they'll touch it anyway.
Tell a dead person to not touch your stuff and they'll leave it alone!

[Captain Jigglypuff]

How do you become famous? Marry a Kardashian.

[E.C.A.M.B.S.]

How do you make music?

You poison it.

[sans the skeleton]

How do you make music?

You poison it.

fight me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what do you call a cow with no legs?
free beef

[SirBlaziken]

What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is extremely heavy, and the other is a little lighter.