How can I go about leaving home?

[Petzbreeder]

I'm 29 years old and I want to leave home. My parents claim that my disability will make it difficult.

I don't know anyone who can help me. The only people I can talk to are my friends and support workers at a hostel and an art club that I go to.

My support workers at my art group and hostel all say that I have to talk to my parents about it, and my parents say that I have to talk to my support workers about it.

The hostel I go to is only somewhere I can go once a month for 5 days, I can't live there.

The people I call my "friends" are literally no more intelligent than a Teletubby (I'm seriously not kidding!) so I can't exactly ask them to help me.

My parents can't help me as they claim they aren't rich enough to find me a place to live by myself.

What can I do if I can't get any results from talking to literally anybody that exists?

I really want to leave home and be away from my parents more than anything.
I hate to say it but sometimes I think that committing suicide is the only way out.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Have your case workers help you find a place. They can help and may have knowledge about places that can accommodate you and your disability. For years my dad didn't think I could live on my own independently but I have been doing it for about six years now and I'm doing well. Better than he thought to be exact. I am technically autistic and have some issues but I manage all right. Case workers get paid to help clients with situations like this so don't be afraid to ask for help. They could even help you talk to your family about it and explain how they will help you find a place. I hope this helps!

[SirBlaziken]

^I remember mentioning what your condition is a while back and I have it too if it's the one I remember it to be. But basically you gave good advice.

If you read only one thing here, basically: Be prepared. Don't just go get a place and expect everything to be ok, you have to be ready to do this: financially, emotionally and mentally.

[Petzbreeder]

Case workers get paid to help clients with situations like this so don't be afraid to ask for help. They could even help you talk to your family about it and explain how they will help you find a place. I hope this helps!

My mum doesn't want me to live outside of where I am now. I've been told that there are places in Wales that I can go to, but my mum won't let me go anywhere outside of the Bath/Radstock area.

Restricting me to the Bath/Radstock area seriously restricts where I can go, considering the places are so expensive. My parents have made it practically impossible to get a place of my own.

[Shaymin]

you're 29 years old, your parents can't stop you if you want to leave.

have you considered going to the council to see about getting a council house? there may well be a long waiting list but iirc you said you're in a wheelchair so that may bump you up. your best bet is to wait til monday and call a helpline for disabled people - they will have far better advice than the 12 to 21 somethings on this website :/

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Trust me. Social workers can talk to your mom about independent living. They have seen cases like yours where the client wants to be independent but the family thinks it's a idea. Your problem really isn't that unusual. I say take the chance to have a social worker sit down with everyone and talk about how you will benefit from moving out, that there are options that can and will help you, and how there will be people who will help you out when you need it.

[Shaymin]

I really want to leave home and be away from my parents more than anything.
I hate to say it but sometimes I think that committing suicide is the only way out.

if you are considering suicide go to your doctor or a therapist as soon as possible

[Petzbreeder]

if you are considering suicide go to your doctor or a therapist as soon as possible

To be honest, I don't feel like this very often. I sometimes get noises or voices in my head that get really loud when I'm stressed. When it gets too loud though, that's when I start considering suicide as it gets too much for me to handle. I don't know why I get so much noise in my head.

[Shaymin]

To be honest, I don't feel like this very often. I sometimes get noises or voices in my head that get really loud when I'm stressed. When it gets too loud though, that's when I start considering suicide as it gets too much for me to handle. I don't know why I get so much noise in my head.

please please please see your doctor about this - and about moving out of your parents house. they may be able to get you into contact with more folks who can help you.

[sylar]

To be honest, I don't feel like this very often. I sometimes get noises or voices in my head that get really loud when I'm stressed. When it gets too loud though, that's when I start considering suicide as it gets too much for me to handle. I don't know why I get so much noise in my head.

my anxiety makes my hallucinations a lot louder too. stress makes hallucinations more common and aggressive, even if youre not psychotic generally. if youre having issues with stress-based hallucinations, it might be possible to try anti-anxiety medication. ive been on zoloft for over a year now and my hallucinations have become almost non-existent; i still get stressed ofc because they dont cure you completely, but getting through life is much easier when you have something to take the edge off anxiety.

but yeah, hallucinations caused by stress are common, so thats at least... comforting? knowing that its just anxiety? hey the less mental illnesses you got the better man lmfao.

your parents cant keep you at home, and discouraging you from leaving home by using your disability is pretty nasty of them.

youre from the uk arent you? you could try going to a doctor and asking for a referral to mental health doctor. it might take a while and you might be at home a little longer while you wait for them to help you, but i think if youre getting so stressed youre considering suicide, youre much better waiting on help and seeing how you do with it, than just running out on your own with no mental health support.

if you mention to your doctor that stress is causing suicidal ideation and is caused by a bad home environment, it may push things along quicker, and might open up more options than just mental health professional help.

ive been unable to move out on my own because of my own mental illnesses. im still not able to go out on my own, but a supportive help system is a lot better than letting yourself fester in your own issues. just makes it easier i think.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

my anxiety makes my hallucinations a lot louder too. stress makes hallucinations more common and aggressive, even if youre not psychotic generally. if youre having issues with stress-based hallucinations, it might be possible to try anti-anxiety medication. ive been on zoloft for over a year now and my hallucinations have become almost non-existent; i still get stressed ofc because they dont cure you completely, but getting through life is much easier when you have something to take the edge off anxiety.

but yeah, hallucinations caused by stress are common, so thats at least... comforting? knowing that its just anxiety? hey the less mental illnesses you got the better man lmfao.

your parents cant keep you at home, and discouraging you from leaving home by using your disability is pretty nasty of them.

The woman who helped my dad raise me used my diagnosis as a reason to keep me from loving on my own for so long. I was stuck in a semi-independent program because of her for four years and the case workers in the program knew I was ready to live on my own but she kept fighting with them that I wasn't ready to do it. She wanted me to have no independence and after I cut her out of my life, I proved that I can do it even with a few struggles such as finding motivation to stay organized and my place near but I've survived six years by myself. This woman said that I would never be able to be trusted with a car but I have been driving for four years without any problems. I even got a part time job which I couldn't do because she wanted to control me and just use me to get pity from others and use my money to fund her drinking habit. I have a representative payee who takes care of my bills but I get a monthly allowance and have been slowly learning how to budget which I never could do before. Living on my own was the best thing for me to do and I actually get along better with my dad than while I was being controlled. It will benefit you greatly and getting case workers to help you out is a good start.

[lets all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes]

To be honest, I don't feel like this very often. I sometimes get noises or voices in my head that get really loud when I'm stressed. When it gets too loud though, that's when I start considering suicide as it gets too much for me to handle. I don't know why I get so much noise in my head.

deffo raise this with your doctor if you haven't already because Mental Health Fact Time: your 20s is the decade of your lives that the prodromal psychosis end of things starts to pop up and if caught in time can usually be with a good prognosis but if ignored can get into some Messier brain territory as you get into your mid-late 30s. i mean im avoiding using all the scary words here but deffo tell the doctor exactly the stuff re noises/voices in your head that you're telling us, and try to keep a diary perhaps. 

IANAD/IANAP but dont be scared if you have to try any of the scarier sounding pills, most of them are off-label for Depression/Anxiety as it is anyway. just alert ur doc if theres a chance you are getting Tics (or increased tics i guess???) if you have to try antipsychotics cos you want to avoid gettin the Tardive Dysknesia (idk how to spell it) best you can

referrals can be slllooooowwwwwwwww depending on where you are so get the ball rolling on a mental health referral ASAP cos better safe than sorry. the facilities exist, one of my longtime bffs is in the middle of nowhere in Wales and is gettin Seen by more advanced members of the mental health team. i mean they were in and out of crisis care a few times which i think sped up the process a bit but still. try to avoid it comin to hospitalisation if you can haha.   




unfortch i can't offer much advice re: the Moving Out myself as my experience with that wasn't....uh....ideal but i can honestly say becoming financially and generally independant was one of the best things i ever did.

only thing i can suggest is depending on the nature of ur disability you may want to get in touch with your local (insert disability here) charity for Support/Advice regarding self-directed independance/moving out. godspeed and good luck.

[Milsap]

My fiancee is registered blind and she was able to get support and things to make her life easier through the Walsall Society for the Blind. Is there anything near you that would do something similar?

[Petzbreeder]

Is there anything near you that would do something similar?

I haven't got a clue. I go to a hostel (which isn't a permanent home) in Twerton. My art group is in Midsomer Norton. Other than those two places, I honestly have no idea of anywhere else.

Both places have helped people with moving out, but neither have helped me in any way so far.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Trust me. Get a social worker. They'll know all about programs that can help you with your disability.