Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted but everything you draw comes alive because of how creative it is. They destroy your house and you.

I wish that every noun had a prefix of evil.

[Skarmory8]

Granted but every noun has a suffix of kitten as well! (OWNED)
I wish that my name is Scott Pilgrim.

[spritey]

Granted but to do that you have to sign a bunch of papers and that takes up the rest of your life. So you only die as Scott Pilgrim.

I wish for a nice walk outside.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted but every noun has a suffix of kitten as well! (OWNED)

(So Eviltablekitten and Evilpenkitten?)

Granted but outside is currently off limits right now.

I wish for a war between every pokemon with no humans involved at all.

[spritey]

Granted but the pokemon who won was a caterpie...

I wish for a second war involving pokemon only.

[lugia95]

Granted, but Caterpie was the only one left alive from the first war, so ihe had to hae a war with himself.

I wish all the pokemon came back.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted but they had to watch Caterpie attack itself. They were so freaked out they went right back.

I wish a god Wurmple would appear and destroy Caterpie.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted, but it's Draco Meteor exploderises you as well.

I wish that I had my own computer. A decent, working one that has everything a good computer should.

[spritey]

Granted, but you wished you had a good computer, so right after you received it I smashed it to pieces.

I wish for a ball.

[Gusparce]

Granted, its deep in your esophagus.

I wish that I could breathe underwater without changing into another animal.

[Webby]

Granted, but you can only breathe underwater and the world suffers a drought long enough to deprive you of the water you need to breathe.

I wish to have Asda right outside my doorstep.

[OranBerrySandvich]

Granted. Tesco also goes there. And Lidl. And Aldi. And etc.. There's so much noise and stuff you decide to move. Your new home blows up with you in it. You die.

I wish for an excessively large hat.

[ScottishFoldLover]

Granted, but the hat is so large that it covers your eyes.  You are unable to see and walk into traffic.  You get hit and die.

I wish for a new pair of glasses.

[spritey]

Granted, but the glasses are different and they make you see horrors whenever you wear them.

I wish for a book.

[Jarl ulfric stormcloak]

Granted, But its the normanomicon, and you summon a hundred Hollow Men, who kill you.

I wish Someone will get that referance..