Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[PokeSurfer]

You know, you can get mother 3 in english.

I know, but it involves downloading something illegally and those are not recognized on my computer.

Granted, but the glitter is invisible and therefore useless.

I wish I was more social irl.

POSTSNIPED

Granted, but you are now handicapped on every limb. Have fun as a ninja!

I wish I was more social irl.

POSTSNIPED AGAIN!

Granted, but nobody will ever hire you.

I wish I was more social irl.

[Rorak Kuroda]

Granted. Unfortunetly, you will forever be postsniped on every post. (Wait, that already came true. PS You seem nice, Ima add you to my buddy list.)

I wish I could fly.

[master1]

Granted. You can now fly 0.004 nanometers off the ground. :3

I wish my eyes didn't hurt.

Granted. But your sibling had been using your toothbrush to clean the toilet.

I'm an only child. <3

[Steve Jobs]

granted, but the medicine you took that took the pain away was recalled due to it being infected with swine flu.

I wish that it was legal to buy a BB gun at 13 years of age

[Alexi: Crazier by the Day]

Granted, but you hurt yourself with it.

I wish I was locked in a dark room.
Yes, I've lost it.

[master1]

Granted. But you only get one wish from me, so you're screwed unless another magic person finds you.

>:I
*kicks Richie's pokeball*

*chucks richie's pokeball over the fence* I couldn't help it. D:

perhaps we just play Mankey in the Middle with Richie's PokeBall

I wish people wouldn't torture me while I'm in my PokéBall. ;;

[Rorak Kuroda]

Granted, but now people beat you up anytime you are outside your pokeball. (note: wish only counts for 8 minutes)

I wish I had a cup of hot chocolate that will not harm me or anyone else in any way.

[The Sasquatch]

Granted, but you spill it.

I wish I could breathe underwater

[ShinyKecleon]

Granted, but you die of water inhalation anyway. *morbid*

I wish for the lead part in an upcoming play.

[Rorak Kuroda]

Granted, but the lead part is Alice from Alice in wonderland. (lol,  gender differences.)

I wish my grades were better.

[The Sasquatch]

Granted ,but your school gets demolished. D=

I wish i had a robot to do my homework.

[SomeoneStoleMyUsername!]

Granted, but the robot destroys everything you've ever loved.

I wish I never had to get another injection again.

[Boggypete]

Granted but now you die of a horrible disease that could have been prevented with an injection.

I wish someone had told me about the clocks going back an hour.

[master1]

Granted, but they told you too early and you were late for some things, bad stuff happened and now you're homeless. Or something.

I wish my legs didn't hurt. ;;

[Alexi: Crazier by the Day]

Granted, but you now have a migrain.

I wish I was not locked in a dark room.